Patrick handed me a small white cloth bag. It was light but my hands trembled as I untangled it. I thought that when I returned to the pack, I could simply make it up to Rose and everything would be fine. But now, the only thing I had left of her was this small bag in my hands.
When I opened it, there was only a card and an envelope inside.
The card had an image of Rose’s ultrasound the first picture of our child.
I felt liquid in my eyes – I had forgotten the last time I cried. All I knew was that I could feel my heart being torn apart again.
I then took out the envelope and opened it. Inside was a piece of paper with her familiar and delicate handwriting, some of which had been smeared with drops of water. It was my mate’s tears.
[To my Popeye,]
I immediately felt my courage seep out through my tears. I didn’t know if I could read any further than that. I plopped onto a nearby sofa as one of my fists clenched tightly. My fingernails dug deep into my skin as I forced myself to calm down. I found my courage again to continue reading.
[To my Popeye,
My dear Edward, I don’t even know where to begin as I pick up this pen. But I can only be grateful that I haven’t given up on all that reading and writing lessons you gave me during our happier times as it has given me the opportunity and ability to write to you now.
I’m leaving you and our pack. I can’t take it anymore. I had never thought that you will ever hate me so much, not until I met the you who returned after your car accident. I’m sorry I don’t have the courage to tell you all of these in person. I just love you too much that if I faced you, I know that I will only start crying. So writing is the best way I can tell you what I need to say.
Yes, I am pregnant. Wasn’t what we were hoping for as we lay in bed together that day, imagining whether our first child will be a boy or a girl. Regardless, you still managed to come up with names for them already. But when you told me that you weren’t ready to have a child or at least now with me, it was the last straw. I didn’t want our child to grow up with his or her father’s hatred. I never thought that I would ever be a single mother but that seems to be my fate now. I must protect our child.
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I don’t know what you’ve been through, Edward. I wanted to be strong and to wait for you to get better. But being near you was hell for me.
I watched you flirt with the other shewolves and ‘watched’ you having sex with them through your imaginations. You treated everyone with no respect, including your parents, and you simply changed everything. And when you accused me of being a curse to the pack, or pulled my hair and dragged me across the floor to ‘serve’ you, I knew that wasn’t you. That wasn’t Edward. Still, deep down I told myself to endure it all. But when you said that you didn’t love me anymore, I just couldn’t take it, especially when you look at me like I was the enemy or a prostitute.
I had naively assumed that my eight years at New Moon Pack were the hardest moments of my life. But with what I had just gone through recently, I realized that I was wrong. Those eight years I suffered were nothing compared to the last few days I had with you.
I don’t hate you at all, Edward. I love you more than anyone else in the world. Although that may not please Alpha Leon and Luna Taylor, I would do anything to get back the life we had together. Unfortunately, even as a Werewolf of Chaos, there’s nothing I can do to help you or return to those times. No one knows why you have changed so much, not me, not your friends, not Alonso, and not even Dr. Baldwin. Only the Lord knows that I have never been so desperate in my life to get you back.
I’m sorry, Edward, but as the mother of our child, I have no choice but to leave despite how much my heart bleeds. Honestly, if I knew that I would have to bear this much sadness and pain, I would rather have never experienced such joy.
I don’t know when you will recover. But if you do, please don’t blame yourself for my departure. I love you so, so much. But maybe this is my destiny – my happiness never lasts long.
You have waited for me for eight long years and gave me so much love when you found me. Every moment I had spent with you were the happiest of my life. But I guess that time is now over and it is time for me to wake up from my dream.
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I love you forever. Goodbye, Popeye.
With love, Rose.]
The whole letter was dotted with tears, tears from Rose and tears from me.
I felt the hole in my heart grow bigger as I held the letter and sonogram in my hands.
The person who could fill it was gone with our child and I didn’t even know where.