What could she even say to that?
Maria's words danced in Rin's mind amidst the tense silence between them. The sounds of crickets chirping around them and Rin's heartbeat tapping in her ears drowned out her thoughts.
"Let's head back to the car," Maria said quietly.
"W-Wait," Rin said, walking closer to her.
"Hm?" Her teacher turned and raised a brow, as though she was asking what else she needed to say.
"I... So, that's just it?" She asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You're just going to keep her out?" Rin followed up. "Can't you... I dunno, be friends or something?"
"That's..." Maria sighed. "That's not really an option for me."
"Why?"
The woman simply shook her head, though, starting to walk back to the truck on her own.
"I tried that already. And, it ended with me crying myself to sleep several times. I don't want to go back to that."
"Is this any better, though?" Rin asked, and Maria stopped.
"Is it not?" She asked, looking like she was confused as to how Rin could even ask such a thing.
"Doesn't seem like it to me."
"Hmph," Maria huffed and continued walking away. "Well, I think it's the right thing to do."
Rin wished then that she could offer some advice. Find some words that would solve this situation, but she couldn't. She'd never been in such a position before. A position where one felt like they were betraying someone else by doing nothing but loving another person.
She simply had no experience with this.
And so, she kept quiet as she and her teacher returned to the parked vehicle.
---
{Maria}
Naturally, it had been hard to tell that to Rin.
She'd bottled up her emotions for the longest time. She'd made an effort to convert the simmering longing beneath her skin into spite whenever she saw Cara.
And, it was something she had to do, as she'd already failed to do so a few times before.
{3 Years Ago}
The academy was not at its quietest in the hours one would expect.
Not midnight, not the early morning. Many students were often hard workers, as Maria had come to find out when she began her stint as a teacher here. Some would wake up quite early to train as much as possible before their classes. Others would stay up late, doing the same, well into the night.
No, the academy was usually at its most silent as the sun fell behind the horizon. As the teachers finished their work and headed off to their homes or locked themselves in their offices. As the students finished eating dinner and either left the academy or went back to their rooms to take breaks. That was when Maria could hear nothing but her own thoughts.
Usually. Today, something was different.
A new teacher had come in. Someone Maria had come here for the specific reason of avoiding.
A few young adventurers-in-training passed Maria by, whispering to themselves.
"Did you see her?" One asked another. "She was huge!"
"She had more muscle on her than my dad," another replied with a laugh.
"Yeah... I kinda made eye contact with her a couple of hours ago. She's scary, ha."
The students ignored Maria as she passed by. It was ironic given how those same students had behaved during the first few classes, but maybe they'd gotten used to her presence by now.
Or, maybe they saw the finished bottle of liquor in her hands and figured she wasn't in the mood to chat.
Could be either one, truly.
As for Maria, she barely heard them. She was focused on one thing and one thing only, and that was not tripping as she made her way to that new hire's office.
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[You sneaky little...] She thought, hiccuping. [Why are you here!?]
"Hic!" Maria stumbled. Placing a hand on the wall to steady herself, she took a moment before continuing. "Why...?"
The world went black for a moment and suddenly, she found herself standing in front of the office's door like she'd just skipped ahead a few seconds in time.
Gritting her teeth, she pushed the door open.
There she was, at the back by the windows, behind her desk. Papers were placed in front of her, likely the last bits of registration documents she needed to get through.
Her eyes met Maria's and widened a little. The hand that held her pen froze.
Maria moved up.
"Well..." She said. "Couldn't resist chasing me here, huh?"
"I figured early retirement didn't sound that bad after all," Cara said with a shrug.
"And you chose this as your retirement gig?"
"Well, I still need to make money."
Maria just glared at her. The woman's face bounced a little in Maria's eyes.
[No, don't pass out yet,] she told herself. [Get through this first. Tell her off.]
"You're drunk."
"Obviously," Maria hissed back. She was almost proud of the fact that she was. With her metabolism, it wasn't easy to achieve this state. The bottle in her hands was just the last bottle of liquor she drank. It had taken a few of them to get her here. "Look, I can't make you drop this job, but I don't want to talk to you at all, understand?"
Leaning forward, she tried to get closer to the woman, if only so that her face would stop duplicating and moving so much.
"I know," Cara replied, quietly. "Someone's gotta make sure you don't throw yourself into an early grave, though."
"Oh, and that has to be you?"
The brown-haired woman laughed loudly.
"I promised I would, didn't I? Besides, no one else is volunteering."
"Aw, and what, you want to be the one to catch me, huh? If I fall, you won't let me hit the ground?"
"Metaphorically, no. Literally, I probably would. It would be kinda funny if I'm being honest." Cara smirked.
Maria ignored her.
She placed a knee on Cara's chair, between her legs. Reaching up and placing a hand on the woman's cheek, bathed in the sunlight pouring in from the side, she said:
"All cause you love me, right?"
"Yeah," Cara replied, looking directly into her eyes. "I do."
"Heh... And you couldn't have told me that sooner?" Maria asked, as her fingers traced Cara's lips. "You let me fall in love with someone else before you let me know that little detail? On the night of my fucking wedding no less?"
"I did," Cara answered. "It took me a while to realize it. And, I regret that I didn't realize it sooner to this d-"
Maria cut her off.
The kiss she placed on Cara's lips that day was just one more memory to add to a collection that burned her heart.
The look she received from Cara, the stoic woman's eyes watering, was added to that collection as well.
"You're too late," Maria told her. "I can't climb out of this hole."
"I'll wait till you're ready," Cara replied softly. "And, I'll pull you out myself."
---
As Rin walked back into the truck, Maria gave the area behind them a look to make sure there weren't any monsters following.
"... I wish there was one," Maria muttered. "I really want to punch something right now. I should have brought more alcohol."
[Though,] she thought, looking down at her own hands, [maybe there is one, actually. A sad, lonely, pathetic one, standing right here.]
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