Chapter 103: Fighting My Desire

Victoria's POV

I woke up in the arms of Oliver, and I could tell that he really satisfied my needs beyond what I could imagine. But another hunger has woken me up, and it was terrifying and disgusting. And I wonder if I can resist my urge to kill another living thing in my hands. I tried to go back to sleep while I could feel Oliver's naked body next to mine, but I couldn't go back to slumber, knowing I felt so hungry. I had only eaten one meal yesterday, and right now, I could hear the outcry of animals calling for me.

I sat on the bed and leaned my back on the headboard, and I realized I was fully naked, but I couldn't feel the cold of Oliver's room even if the AC was blasting with cold air; I got up and opened the closet, and I was shocked to find gorgeous woman's wardrobe, and as I inhaled the fabric I could tell the clothes in the hanger are all new according to my taste. I am impressed that he has chosen the best apparel for me, but my face fell as I realized all the material possession I have are no longer important.

I am dealing with something serious, and I could say my new life doesn't require me to have so many clothes since I will always end up naked in the wilderness because I will never allow myself to shift in the city, I am afraid to hurt anyone, killing animals is still new to me, but I know I will never get used to it. I wish I would be different from other werewolves; I hope the curse will only last today. I couldn't imagine myself eating fresh meat for the entire month.

I am afraid if I will get sick because of the raw meat I eat, but I don't think it matters now, and I could tell going to the hospital will do me no good knowing my vitals and specimen would be different from humans now that I turned, and I wonder what would be on my DNA? Am I more human or animal? I hope I will go back to my usual self and wake up on my bed, where my only problem is what clothes I should wear, or when I can go to the mall to buy another set of wardrobe and shoes.

I don't want to hunt wearing a dress, but I couldn't find anything that will be comfortable running on the ground; all I can see in the closet are beautiful dresses, and I don't have a choice, I can be seen running outside wearing nothing at all, and Oliver told me he has stayed out maids in his house. I am sure they are here at this hour. I opted to wear the simplest dress I could find, and I didn't bother to take a bath; how can I make myself presentable knowing I would be hunting for my food?

I also wanted to bring an extra dress, and I rummaged the drawer to look for a towel; I don't want to be seen by his household staff with blood on my hands and dress, and I know I don't have any choice but to start finding my ways on how to deal this type of situation. I only wanted to graduate from High school and run away from home, but right now, I want to run away from who I am, and I know I can never get away from this mess.

I put on the dress, and I smiled when I could see the reflection of myself in the mirror, and I realized I was still beautiful. It felt like I looked younger today than yesterday; I frowned as I realized how could I afford to smile, knowing I was going to kill another innocent life, and right now I wanted to eat; the hunger I felt was too much. I got out of Oliver's room in a hurry, and I was running the stairs barefoot, and my steps faltered when I saw a woman cleaning the living room.

"Good morning!" She greeted me.

"Hello, good morning!" I responded to her, and I could feel the racing of my heart as I looked at her face down to her neck, and the urge to attack her overshadowed my senses; I could feel the desire to eat her flesh, and it felt like I am turning into a monster now, and I curled my fists on my side. At the same time, I bit my tongue to feel the pain and not the craving I felt inside. 

"You must be Victoria, and it is my pleasure to meet you; you are indeed so beautiful! My name is Carrie, and I will be your helper for your entire stay." She said, and if it is only another day, I am sure I will enjoy her compliment, but I am now controlling myself not to devour her; how can I be like this?

"Thank you, Carrie; it is nice to meet you too," I replied while I was holding my breath because I didn't want to smell her. My wolf self is ordering me to attack and kill her. Still, my human nature is trying to control and dominate my wild side, and this is the only way to overcome this stupid thing that is happening to me.

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It dawned on me I needed to fight the animal instinct I had in me, but I felt so hungry, and I could feel the blazing of my eyes that I turned my head away from her because I didn't want her to see the hunger that I felt.

"Breakfast is ready, but I guess you are going to ear with your husband," She said, and her last word made me look at her, but I averted my gaze right away. Husband? What is Oliver's scheme now that he referred to himself as my husband.

"No, I am not going to eat; I wanted to have a walk on the sand." I lied, and I excused myself from her, and I ran as far away from Carrie, and I didn't care if she would wonder what happened to me. I made my way to the back door, and I could feel the early breeze coming from the mountain, but I could also smell the saltwater coming from the other side. 

I sprinted in the direction of the woods, and I ran as fast as I could without taking a breath; I couldn't believe I could run so fast even if I were wearing no shoes, and I didn't feel tired or feel my pain on my feet, I know running barefoot on the woods could harm me. Still, it seems I felt invincible as of the moment, and I could feel my prey is within the area, and I smiled as I realized I could satisfy my hunger now, and I no longer care about my human nature as the need to have fresh meat consumed my mind.

I went deeper into the woods, and I could hear wild pigs and deers, and I stopped on my tracks when I found a python as giant as log, and if I was only the old Victoria, I could tell I would be screaming my heart out, but as I looked at it, I don't feel like eating crawling animal. And I quickly shifted in my wolf form, I could still feel the pain, but I didn't shout because I expected it already, and yelling will not help me return to my old self. The snake could see the hunger of my face as I turned into a wild beast, and I howled when it slithered far away from me.

And now I realized I had become a scary monster, and I will be the new queen on this jungle, and I couldn't stop myself from feeling so frustrated that my once extravagant social life became pathetic like this, and eating in a fancy restaurant will never look appealing to me now.

And I felt glad that I could still feel remorseful and sad about what happened to me because it means I am still human. I wonder how I will control myself and forget the animal instinct that I have, but when I look at the rabbit in front of me, I no longer care about humanity as I leaped and captured my target with one fluid movement.

I devoured its flesh, and I still felt so hungry, and I ended up eating another rabbit, then another one, and I collapsed on the ground feeling so full. In contrast, I could feel the blood on my hands and mouth, and I was crying and laughing at the same time because I hated my fucking life now, and I could never accept who I had become.

I don't know how long I have been lying in the grass, and I realized I shifted into my human form again, and I felt my stomach is so full and I felt too lazy to get up when I heard footsteps coming on my way, and I felt so alarmed as I realized I was naked. And this is what I hate the most, being a werewolf, it could be the cause of my forever humiliation. Why do I need to end up naked every time I shift? I wonder if there is another way to stop this from happening.

I got up on my feet, and I got the dress where I left it off, and just on time I put on my clothes I heard a clearing of a throat. When I turned around, I found a man, and he was looking at me with an unreadable expression on his face, and then he smiled at me, and it was the kind of smile that took my worries away. And my instinct is telling me he could be a friend.

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