Sitting by his side has him visibly stiffen as always, I do not understand why he does this as though his senses are constantly aware of my existence. As though my presence tortures him.
I study the copious dishes on the table, it is all shared with an eagerness to provide for every wolf. Yet I find no breakfast meals rather all I can decipher are a variety of meat. Fish, pork, chicken and lamb. Some are cooked, rather burnt I would say and the others are raw. A sudden need to gag is set forth within me, how do they eat this so early in the morning?
An unexpected memory lights up and I smile faintly peering down at my skirt. I remember perching next to Cronus where he would always place fresh bread, pancakes or waffles on my plate knowing how much I adored them. He would always advise me to eat more and to finish everything on my plate. Truly a devoted brother.
I take a glimpse at the platter lying in front of me upon the table. Empty. I understand, no wolf cares enough for me on these lands to serve me with a loving hand, not even my moon blessed. I...miss home.
Taking a gradual deep breath to enlarge the space within my heart that seems to be suffocating in agony, I prepare to take what is given to me. I shall not be greedy, I shall not be selfish. I shall learn to be one with these beasts.
As determination drowns me with that fresh mindset which settles in so does discombobulation. Why are there no forks, knives or spoons in sight? Perhaps I must go fetch them for myself? Do they not place them at the table before every meal?
"Luna Theia, do you not find our food pleasing?" A female's voice penetrates through the chatter and there is a pin drop silence that consumes the grounds. Phobos ceases chewing his food and with his eyes adhered to his plate, he waits for my answer and so does every other wolf. So I am constantly being watched, is it? Are they following my every movement, my every reaction to their ways?
"Not at all, rather I am searching for cutlery," I utter sitting upright in my seat pausing for her explanation.
"C-Cutlery? What is that? Is that a type of food, Luna?" She asks again in marvel as though it is her first time hearing this word.
"No, not food rather like forks and spoons and others of that sort. Items that support eating neatly, I suppose." I am careful and polite in answering her, I do not wish to shame them for their lack of knowledge unknowingly.
Instantaneously all his wolves start to cackle uproariously, mouths broadly open heads raised into the air some holding their bellies and others howling with hilarity. What have I said that they find so amusing?
"Je to legrační! Taková malá princezna, že?" One of the male's shrieks with his booming laughter as the other males join with him striking his back playfully to the joke he spouted as he gaped at me.
(She is a funny one! Such a little princess isn't she?)
I do not understand, I am unable to comprehend anything that leaves the mouth of these wolves. It unsettles me, I detest this feeling.
"Drž hubu, Njal! We apologize, Luna. We possess no such things here for we do not use them." Moira is the first to break the laughter, her eyes filled with annoyance at the male who seemingly ridiculed me.
(Shut up, Njal)
So is this how it is going to be for me in your pack, Phobos? I scrutinize him as he strives to swallow his food with ease, he senses my upsetness yet he does nothing for me. I know he never shall, I must learn to survive here on my own.
I look back at his wolves and inspect the way they eat, I should not have assumed I should have observed first. That was my blunder. They eat disgustingly with no manners enough to kill one's appetite. Females chew noisily revealing the unchewed food in their mouths for all to see and the males are worse for they stain their beards and spit pieces of their meal everywhere.
With a long-drawn sigh of tiredness, my orbs flaring at the way they possessed enough confidence to taunt me of my essence I straighten my spine tying my locks up with a hairband that was locked around my wrist.
"It would have been kind to let me know of this earlier. Of your ways." I express my voice as firm and turbulent as the other females. The pack quietens down once more all their eyes pasted to my flesh.
Leaning forward I use my hands like the others picking up what I can swallow down without barfing all over their lands and heap them up on my plate. They want me to be wild, I can do that with ease for that need to be free never ceased within me.
Phobos sits more rigid in his seat, inclining backwards to settle his back against the chair. He is watching my antics, he is listening to me.
"I grew up otherwise, well too differently I suppose from you all. But the fact that I sit here before you despite our variations and eat as one with you all must show my morality in a way. You do not see me mocking you all for what you are rather what you lack do you?" I question tearing the tough meat with my hands and stuffing it in my mouth as they do. Does this show them, that there is nothing I cannot do?
"Luna Theia, we apolo-" Moira begins to vocalise on behalf of her companions as though she is their saviour. Why is this female always exercising her lead everywhere?
"Please do not apologize. I did not demand it." I say as the juice of the meat drips down my chin and I imitate their way of devouring to prove my point. Mama would be petrified if she witnessed this. Standing up I pick up my platter holding it against my belly my flaring eyes sweeping through the astonished wolves who are awkwardly seated in their seats.
I regard the leader of females who watches me like a vulture with an eerie calmness as though she is scrutinising my antics. I wish to know who she is on these lands, what position rather what significance does she hold?
"I do not know what it is that you are taught here but where I come from it is sinful to deride someone just because they are distinct from you. Now, if you will excuse me I shall go eat my breakfast somewhere more welcoming. Enjoy your meal, Njal." I narrow my eyes at the giant male who began the banter of me as he bows his head with respect and an apology that I do not pay heed to.
Whirling around I saunter away from them taking the same trail that I came through seeking to find a serene place. The fever of his smouldering globes scorches the flesh of my back, I am aware he only looks at me when my back is turned to him. What do you think of me now, my male?
Marching towards the warmth of the tent I awoke in, I sit down upon the earth tearing the stubborn meat with my fingertips chewing on the distasteful food attempting to swallow it down. Is this not so fabulous with the way things seem to be befalling? I question myself with a touch of sarcasm. Quite the welcome indeed.
"Královna." A female's feeble voice has me gaze up at her. Her eyes broaden when I meet hers and she bows with admiration. Admiration of what I am unable to recognise.
"Yes?"
"I was told by vůdce to bring you to commence today's rituals." She says as I close my eyes with a simmering discontent that surges within me. Am I not even allowed to eat in peace? Why could she not tell me this whilst I was seated at that table? They are making me run around as though I were their toy.
(Leader)
"At this very moment?" I question as she winces to my stern voice whilst she bows deeper grasping her hands together setting them upon her belly in submission to me. She assumes I am displeased with her but I am not in the state to ease her ruffled fur.
"Y-Yes, our guests shall be arriving soon. We are to begin preparing right away." She replies forcing me to once more arise from my den as I carry my plate with me.
"Tell me of these so-called guests."
"It is tradition to invite wolves who are familiar to our pack so they can witness our Luna and a feast is being arranged for them tonight in your honour. There shall be this dance performance which I think you shall like and after we shall- I apologize, I got too excited." She speaks at a fast pace a jump in her steps as she chats about and describes their tradition with pride.
"Not at all, I would be more comfortable knowing what it is that shall be happening. It makes me feel more tranquil." I reply whilst gobbling down my breakfast with a rapidness for I know from her words my next meal shall be later tonight and not anytime soon.
She accompanies me to my throne where all the females wait patiently standing in a circle around it, one of them takes the plate gently from my hands giving me a wet cloth to cleanse my stained fingers. They are quick eaters I suppose, they do not spend much time consuming and articulating with one and another like back at home.
"Luna Theia, come sit." The leader of females instructs nodding towards my throne as I escalate up the rock steps to perch upon it with no protests. As soon as I am seated the males walk forth from the shadows and the entire pack occupies the open field awaiting to behold what shall happen. What is happening? Is this one of their customs where all shall witness it?
"Zahájíme přípravu." The old female declares as the females' nod at her in acknowledgement of her words.
(We shall commence our preparation)
Out of the mass, all I can perceive with a lustrous clarity is the striking blues of my male who stands amid the crowd, his arms folded across his mighty chest he meets my doubtful globes brazenly. The females around me carry jars containing a certain foul-smelling liquid in them for I detect the slosh of it that is sent forth through their movements.
"Close your eyes and open your palms facing upwards, Luna.." A juvenile directs me leniently from my right as I pay heed to her words and seal my eyes whilst placing my palms over the throne's armrests. What is it that they shall do to me, somehow I feel a little apprehensive about the ambiguity?