"Oh, Theia," Lumina says her eyes disheartened by the anguish I openly deliver to her.
"No, I deserve this for this is the moon's retribution for what I had done to you." The moon has condemned me for the very rumours which I did not care enough to eliminate that destroyed Lumina has now come to ruin me.
"Know this he holds half your soul, I know of the sadness I lived through it for several years I do not wish it on any female to go through," Her blood stained path with Deimos is different than what I undergo with my male. They are of the same age it assists their relationship but being nine years younger to your male who is driven by his beast more than his human nature will invariably make you belittled.
"Phobos is not like Deimos, Lumina. You cannot reason with him, he possesses no emotions his wolf is always at bay. And me being younger and inexperienced in several ways wills me with a feeling of insecurity that leaves me breathless."
"Has he held you? Have you mated?" I scoff at her question. He cannot even kiss me without feeling nauseous how would he be able to fuck me?
"In my dreams, yes. He finds no yearning for it. He finds me distasteful." Sorrowful tears well in my eyes it is unendurable feeling this way. That my Phobos deems of me as undesirable.
"You know that is not true, he cannot resist you. I can see it how can you not?"
"What you see is not genuine. It is an illusion he manifests, he is a master of disguise. His sincere emotions can never be seen in light, I have understood this since I was a pup." I had always known his mastery of manipulation yet I had foolishly loved him thinking he would never try to do so with me. Believing he would remain true to me.
"His pack, do they adore you as mine does?"
"It is a mixture, I need to fight for my seat at his table. Whatever he does to me, I cannot stop my heart that beats only for him. Sometimes I wish to return home to my mother, other times I wish to stay firm and remain by his side. It is a constant war between us and I am always left bleeding. But I deserve thi-"
"No you do not deserve this, no female does. Your sins are not many, Theia. They are ones he can forgive." I chuckle rubbing my tears with the rear of my palm. I do not wish to be fragile and confirm how insecure he makes me feel to others. It embarasses me.
"Lumina! Come here, my female. Bring Kal." Deimos suspends our conversation his voice holding excitement as we both turn to regard him.
Lumina peers back at me obliquely asking if I am all right and I offer her a curt nod accompanied with a smile. She need not worry about me this is my fight with my male I can manage it without the support of another.
We stroll towards him who stands steadily next to Phobos. I know my mate is waiting for me to greet him but I do not grant him what he seeks holding onto Kal who relaxes on my hip.
Deimos encircles his arm around Lumina's waist hauling her to his side whilst leaning down to whisper something in her ear. It is so pleasant to see a couple in love never can I have what they hold. Never can I have a mate who chooses me unconditionally.
"Theia why don't you hand over Kal to your male?" Lumina says and I am dragged out of my trance my eyes enlarging to her terms. I do not wish to do such things with him. It would make me desire more from him like a family. I shall certainly be deceived as always for that is how frustratingly innocent I am when it comes to him.
Swallowing calming the lively rhythms of my heart I advance towards his heat my teeth sinking into my lower lip revealing my nervousness. Hoisting a quiet Kal from my hip I pass the little one to his uncle and he is instantaneous to receive him from my hands his fingertips purposely caressing mine as a clear gasp parts my lips to the electrifying sparks that spreads over my being. He wished to touch me.
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"Deimos, I had forgotten about the soup!" Lumina bellows faintly gathering my attention drawing on her male's hand progressing towards the boisterous pack table as a frown of bewilderment settles upon my features.
"Theia."
"Do not talk to me Phobos," I whisper making sure he has his hands securely clamped around Kal's waist.
"But I wish to hear your voice." He answers moving closer to me as I take a stumbling step backwards. He refuses to end chasing me to leave me alone when I truly wish to be.
He transfers Kal to his left arm his right stretching towards my body but I am quick to slap it away before he could stroke my skin earning a snarl of irritation from my male. Kal sensing the tension between us begins to bawl his eyes out panicking Phobos in the process.
"Take him. Take him. Here." Phobos is uneasy as he leans towards me striving to surrender the screeching male to me to pacify. It is amusing observing the beast caught in terror of a tiny pup.
"Calm down he is only a bit unsettled. Pat his back it helps." I utter aiding Phobos to soothe the weeping pup who gradually begins to calm as my mate rubs his back carefully swaying him side to side.
It feels nice to see him this way carrying a pup in his arms. I know he shall be a good father for I have beheld how he is with Argus. But a family is not something I seek this moment from him. How can I when our bond is so brittle?
"How about we get the family together for a family picture?" Ragon questions the loudness of his voice penetrating through the chatter as we both turn to regard him. Our first family photo? I would like that.
"Of course, it is highly necessary. Send me a copy, Ragon." Cronus speaks his mouth rammed with his meal marching towards us approving of his idea.
"Very well, come along then. Let us stand by the waterfall." Deimos agrees whilst guiding us towards the rippling waterfall. I follow closely behind Phobos exploring for a place to stand I am the shortest in the entire group would it be better to simply kneel down at the front?
"Theia! Come stand by my right." Lumina calls me offering me a place beside her which I heartily accept racing towards her with prompt steps.
Once I am settled expecting for Ragon to take the picture Phobos hobbles towards me to come stand on my right. Why is he here was he not going to stand next to his brother?
"Ready?" Ragon questions locating the camera at a desirable angle squinting at it checking if we are all in frame. The closeness of my male has me shake for the flames of his being embraces my flesh thrusting me into a pit of fire.
With a broad smile on my face my hands held over my belly, I prepare for the flash of the camera yet what comes is a pitiless kick from my left side a direct hit I take to my thigh as a minute shriek of fright crosses my lips.
Losing my balance I stumble my heart pounding grasping I am about to fall. Phobos is swift to hook me and yank me to his chest. Our eyes lock and everything around me dims down to highlight the attachment he holds in his ocean blues as he gazes down at me.. This affection he possesses I do not know if I must trust it for all I can vividly remember is the way he nauseously veered away from my lips.
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