Chapter 1: 1 – Olivia

[Olivia POV]

I feel a wave of nausea wash over me as I think about why I'm here. The fear is overwhelming and I struggle to keep it together. I try to focus on the woman at the desk, hoping to distract myself from the anxiety coursing through my body. She seems unfazed by my presence, completely focused on her work. I can't help but admire her confidence and poise.

I take another deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I remind myself that I'm here for a reason, that I need to face my fears and take control of my life. I straighten my posture and square my shoulders, determined to make it through this experience.

The woman at the desk looks up from her work and smiles at me, her eyes warm and welcoming. She asks if I need any help, and I shake my head, mustering up a weak smile in return. I don't want to bother her, but her kindness is a welcome distraction from my own thoughts.

I continue to wait, trying to ignore the nervous butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I remind myself that I can do this, that I'm strong and capable. I just need to stay focused and stay calm. The woman at the desk continues to work, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she types away. I take a few deep breaths, and slowly, the fear begins to dissipate. I'm ready to face whatever comes next.

As I stand here, I can't help but run my hand across my thighs, trying to rid them of any stray pieces of fuzz that might have attached themselves to my skirt. I'm still in disbelief that I managed to squeeze myself into this tight, gray piece of clothing. I bought it when I was in the ninth grade and joined the debate team, thinking I needed to look professional. However, my time on the team was short-lived, and so was my stint at that size. Now, the waistband is starting to dig into my stomach and I can only hope that the button in the back won't pop open.

I decided to wear black heels for my event tonight, and I spent a significant amount of time yesterday practicing walking in them. I found them in a discount bin at a store near my apartment, and I also picked up a white button-up shirt to wear. However, now that I'm dressed, I feel plain and a bit mouse-like. I was hoping to look more mature, but I'm not sure if I'm achieving that goal.

I attempted to do some makeup and even took the time to curl my hair. I was attempting to recreate the look of a woman from a magazine, but I'm not sure if I was successful in achieving the desired result. Despite my efforts, I still felt unsure of how I looked. I'm not used to wearing makeup or styling my hair in this way, so I may have missed some important details. Overall, I think it's important to experiment and try new things, even if the outcome isn't exactly what I was hoping for.

I'm really not sure why I'm here. I'm just not good at lying. I mean, I've always been terrible at it. When I was younger, I broke my grandma's vase and I immediately fessed up to it. And when I was a teenager, I told my grandma about a boy kissing me after school. I couldn't even pretend to be good at lying for a second. It's just not in my nature.

Honestly, I am really not sure how I am going to manage to get this done. It feels like an impossible task. But I keep reminding myself that I don't have any other options, and that I really need this job. In fact, it's not just that I need it - I desperately need it. I needed this job three weeks ago, when I was already struggling to make ends meet. And now, here I am, trying to figure out how to accomplish something that seems impossible. It's a daunting prospect, but I am determined to give it my best shot.

The small amount of cash I received from the sale of my grandfather's property is almost depleted. I am uncertain of how I will be able to pay for my cramped and poorly maintained studio apartment. In fact, I am almost content with the prospect of being evicted from the dwelling. Perhaps I can seek temporary housing at a nearby community center. My landlord has been increasingly unsettling and uncomfortable to be around.

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