Chapter 159: Chapter 159: Using Each Other

Anyhow, he had managed to make things calm. Einar thought that nobles were strange, however, he was a noble as well now, though his remains a commoner inside the heart. He thought how he must have forgotten how to act like a functioning human being as well. Looking back, Einar thought how he was in that other world.

“I live in that world so blindly, not knowing what to do, chasing after her, and giving my life to what?” Einar asked himself. “Hmm, I could have run away, and I did, but it ended with her death. I am a fool. That’s why I am a fool.”

Einar lowered his head. “I don’t even know if I care or I don’t. It feels like scraping something inside a can only to find only bits of pieces. I can sleep well, I can breathe, I can talk to others, and I still have my emotions. I am numbed to killing, but that’s just what happens when you get used to it. I feel afraid that I don’t feel anything. I was vomiting, shaking, and riddled with guilt once. But when time passed, I felt nothing, just happy and euphoric that I didn’t die. I don’t find joy in it either; it makes me feel alive but that’s only because my heart is beating wildly and adrenaline is pumping in my chest. What is this anyway? This feeling of being so tired, yet not even sleep can fix it? How do I fix this?”

“Are you okay?” Rufus said with that thin smile. “You look maddened, my comrade.”

“I am,” Einar said. “I am just thinking about things.”

“Is that so?” He chuckled. “Forgive the sisters, they have no tack, and they can be mischievous as well. Claudia considers them as her sisters, and having her sisters hurt can be infuriating.”

“I know,” Einar crossed his arms. “I won’t do it again unless they threaten Claudia. You should know me by now, Rufus. I don’t easily let my guard down and I can be as paranoid as her. “

“That’s right, you are indeed paranoid as well. Hence, I am sincerely apologizing for their behavior. Still, was it necessary to almost break their arms?”

“I didn’t break their arms, and besides I thought they were related to one of you here.”

“Then why did you do that?”

“To make sure that I was right. This clubhouse is located fourteen feet away from the ground. It can be accessed by a hidden elevator and there are two wards that warn anyone about unrecognized people coming here. Not that hard to figure out that they are friendly. Still, it’s better to be careful so I locked their arms together instead of breaking them. I could have killed them you know?”

“You could have, but you didn’t. Ah, who am I kidding? Comrade, why are you like this?”

“Hmm?”

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“The way you act, it’s like looking at a drugged-up man. You, I don’t get you sometimes.”

“I don’t know,” Einar thought. “Not like I can tell you why I act like this.”

“True,” Rufus said. “It’s hard to work with you, and yet I consider you a comrade because we use each other well. I tell you where our enemies are and you kill them. I thought of you as a reasonable dog, and yet I consider you comrade.”

“You pay me,” Einar said. “You hide me from people that want to recruit me because of my parents. And being associated with a Future Queen, and people who might be at the top of the ladder might help me live my life leisurely. You only send me to kill annoyance, and I never accept hard jobs from you. I kill for you like a lesser thug. I only ask for the benefits of keeping my back safe. Betraying me, you can do that. But know that I do the same. You can scheme a lot, and fighting you, the social butterfly of the city isn’t easy. You have a lot of allies and every day you get more. You throw lavish parties, and now you are even dealing with mercenaries.”

“Oh, you know that?”

“Not to mention that you have Leonardo here, a master artisan, feared by commoners and has been in contacts with the Wizards. He’s talented, and his skills are perfect for the wizards who dabbles in spells. Miss Vera, Miss Ruth, and the two sisters. They all support Claudia despite her being labeled as an open heretic to the eyes of the many churches. Miss Ruth asks the wrong questions, Miss Vera does many accusations, and the sisters are shielding them just by being the daughters of the Grand Duke. You have a lot of good allies that the only reason you are keeping me alive is because of my parents and Sir Bors.”

“No, not really,” Rufus said. “I know when to fight my battles. Your father, Sir Lionel is a man of power, and your mother is the same. Sir Bors, and the warband that you have consisted of men that are dangerous in their rights. And you are their dire wolf, and I rather have you as an ally rather than an enemy.”

“Is that so?” Einar said.

Rufus’s smile stayed thin. He went back to where he was standing and chatted with the others. Einar stood to the side, his hands behind his back, and thought back to his family. It was true that Rufus could do things that could harm his current family.

“If he does then I should kill him first, then destroy their trade, cut off the heads of the hydra, and make sure to break their mind. Beat a man down, he gets up; kill his family he will come for revenge; take everything that he has, he’ll take it back. Don’t let him think, don’t let him decide, and then when he’s at his weakest, don’t ridicule, and just do the job. Never act without purpose and resolve or without the means to finish the job.”

“What am I even thinking?” Einar thought. “Still, it doesn’t hurt to think about what I should when it comes to doing that.”

Einar stood silently in the corner. His eyes looking a thousand yards away.

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