Chapter 338: Chapter 337: A Moment of Weakness

Memories kept flooding inside of his head.
The truth about the burnt woman. And the pale shine lady that was Ciara.

Now, there was a dance that proved lovely. A fragment of him dying, content that he was able to have the last dance with Ciara. He saw in the memories the burning of the world by the burnt woman as well.

He did not feel pain or hatred. He felt tired. There was a pain in his heart at the thought of seeing and watching Einar die alongside his family. He wanted to believe that it was not his fault. That he had no part in that destruction. Nolan understood the pain of the burnt woman. A mother’s love that could destroy the world. How lonely she must have felt as the world is destroyed?

Nolan could sympathize with the devil. He had loved that devil for a million years.
Nolan didn’t know what to do now that things seem so lovely. Not far from him was Ciara who is in the body of Ashia, and the current Ciara has the memories of Tania, the woman he bound to her soul. The two of them inhabit the soul of Ashia, who had used her soul as a compensation for the world spell she had cast for the world. A trio of souls resides in that body, and one of them was heavily influenced by the two.

“You are scared, aren’t you?”

She asked. Nolan stared back.

“I am, you know that monsters like us don’t get happy endings. I accept that the moment I found myself burying you two. If you are her…then why did you do it?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you let yourself die?” Nolan gritted his teeth.

“You mean in our first lives?”

“Yes. Why?”

Ashia smiled bitterly. “Why? Do you even have to ask why I would take my own life in front of your grave? I promised myself that I would make it up to you. The moment I was sent to that void. But you were six feet underground and my heart broke before I could catch the fragments of it.”

“You are not like that.”

“Then you haven’t been to the void. The screams, Nolan. Can you hear them?” her eyes warped red. The eternal hawk present on her irises. “I can hear them as well. They drowned you until you forgive yourself.”

“Have you?”

“How could I? Do you know what I hear?” she looked up to the skies. “I hear the sounds of a child crying. Three children crying for their mother’s name. The burnt woman is a version of me that has been broken by the weight of the world. I saw in her memories how she and her knight was burnt in a stake. That scar of mine is nothing compared to what she had suffered. A woman who died in the hands of her people who did not falter and stayed strong. I understand. I can understand why she fought so madly, but I cannot agree to become like her. I wanted to save her children, and our children as well. They were not born out of my womb, but they are my children for we are biologically the same despite the difference in timelines. I wanted to fight them, but I died. My soul placed inside with Tania, the woman who had been suffering with you. We have become one to survive the burnt woman and the Eon-father’s wrath.”

“If I didn’t have your memories inside my head. I would not believe a single world out of you. Alas, you are here, and she’s trapped somewhere in that realm.”

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“Her powers had gone strong,” Ashia looked up. “We can do nothing and she must stay in her bauble to protect her self.”

Nolan bit his lower lip. He watched seagulls glide as the giant beasts swam the crystal sea. Ashia placed her palms on the side of his head.

“But one day,” she said. “There will be a day where someone who didn’t give up on her would find her again. He would find himself in a body and they would be together.”

“Why do you think about this?”

“I saw it,” she spoke softly. “She will be found without memories. He would take her hand and they’d be free.”

Nolan recalled a duo in that under-world.

“Adey?”

Ashia merely smiled. “Machina too.”

“Then…how long has she been playing this game?”

“When you are a goddess,” she said playing with her fingers. “You can do anything. Well, she will find a version, a fragment of you reaching her.”

Nolan grabbed hold of his head. “I don’t even know what to say. How long has been this going?”

“Tania’s memories, my memories as well, says that it has been going for a very long time. I suspect that we are the only ones who got out. I wonder if this is all predetermined?”

Nolan’s face darkened. He opened and closed his hands as it trembles. He breathed raggedly at the thought of it. What happens if this continues forever? An eternity of separation and reunion. Nolan had been living his life with a thought that everything shall pass as well. That there are things he could control, and there are some he could control, but not all of it. And that there are things like how rain and destiny that he has no power over.

The memories were terrifying to him. That maybe he’s still living this cycle and she would be separated from her again. That thin metal sheet holding the dam of his sanity was spilling. The previous realizations poisoned. Still, the warm hands pulled him was soft. When his head was rested on her chest.

She said no words as Nolan released body-shaking sobs quietly. This time fat tears spilled on his cheeks. The young and old in him cried. He mourned.
They mourned under the silence of the azure skies. The seas acted like a gentle cradle for them. Bacchus saw the two of them and left them in their silence.

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