Chapter 358: Chapter 357: Colors and Less

People filled her vision. However, her vision was filled with black and white. The black mingled the white. Wagons travelled the crossing, yet her eyes never left the little hand dragging her. Unlike everything else the hand that held her had warmth and color.

“Sister,” Nia’s voice said. “Please at least look forward!”

“Sorry,” Alice blinked. She pointed her eyes to the road. The brick-paved street was curved downwards. Buildings were two-tiered and they were well-maintained. Not far from her was the sea where boundless oceanic monsters the size of small mountains walked peacefully. This was the town of Agni. Next to the town was an island called Concordia where they said an ancient lived.

Who cares?

Alice could not care. She wondered why the fire inside her heart was embers. The umbilical cord that should be connected to the Burnt Woman was faltering. A goddess dying of heartache, what a pathetic one. But when did I ever thought I was great? I wanted family, I wanted to find peace, and save those who could not be saved. I wanted the flowers of hope to bloom, because he gave me that gift, and that hope. What am I doing?

That unbearable will was not around her heart. It was stamped out of her chest. Her soul was cracking and was falling like a broken glass. The power was being sucked out of her and only her inhuman strength remained. She could force the power back, but yet she decided not to. Maybe that’s why I could get drunk and hungry again? That’s it? Deprive myself of power, and feel human again.

”Sister,” she demanded. “Hurry up! We’re going to miss the whales!”

Alice hastened her steps. Her every steps were heavy and she found out that she wanted to crawl back to her bed. Nia had been insisting that she should watch the whales with her. What a lass, feed her a bit, and become as a bossy. Or is it because she’s still young that she does not have the temperance of her previous incarnation?

 Warm sand was under her boots.  The sea stretched as far as she could and not far was the island of Concordia, closer, and yet protected by a thin barrier that her eyes could perceive. A god dwells there, I shouldn’t enter unless I want trouble. Not that it matters.

Winds buffered against her and she felt her coat stained with the salty breeze. Nia pulled Alice over to one of the benches, and together they sat watching the whales appear from the depths of the ocean. She recalled that there was a kingdom of these creatures, and yet they were so peaceful compared to the ones she had fought. Still, they looked like monsters to her, and years of fighting monsters did not stop her fate. She wasn’t going to speak of her hatred against the monsters. Not when there was a light that was smiling brightly at the sight of these creatures.

This should be the world that I wanted. It is not perfect, but if maintained this sort of peace could last forever. I cannot take away the badness of the human’s heart, or the minds of the cruel, but I can mediate it. This should be the world that I wanted to make. Yet I failed, there are no layers of time here, only straight time, and these people had done what I couldn’t. Is this punishment? Mother, father, oh Nolan, I could have created a world like this. Free of the World Tree’s shadows, and free from the darkening that withers the land, and turn man into monsters. I should have done better. I should have thought better. I am a failure.

The words weighted heavily. The screams of the dead broke the sounds of the waves. The begging of Nolan Salvatore entering her ears, pleading, begging, confessing. She could recall her heartless eyes on his teary eyes. Betrayal, happiness, and despair was written in those eyes. And you call yourself a hero?

The waves appeared from the depths of the sea and back. Their sizes towered some of the steam-and-crystal ships as if they were nothing. Their skin were armored with barnacles and sea moss. Their face were gentle and they seem to look at them with gentleness. Alice hated the way that monster looked.

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“What are their colors?”

“You can see them!” Nia said back.

“Just tell me, bossy lass.”

“Blue, and gray! Their bellies are white!”

“I see.”

Alice imagined the colors. She could tell what the world looked like now. Only Nia remained colored, the rest were black and white. She didn’t lost the colors until she settled down on that house. She knew the answers to why she was seeing this way. She was powerless against the thought of it.

The Burnt Woman, her main body that sleeps outside of this world. It ruled many elements yet it dominates fire and war. She was a goddess of fire and war. And this body was of a war maiden. When she was roaming around spilling blood the colors were vibrant. She knew the answer and wanted to run away from.

I am someone who relished in wars. My own powers are nurtured by wars and violence. Without conflict then there is no reason for my powers to manifest, I cannot manifest strength in this world, not unless I seek for that hatred. The powers that I thought was meant to protect, was born out of madness. Born of war that needed fighting. What is the use of a war maiden without war?

That answer was breaking her. She knew it and hated it. She love the peace and the hope that blooms, but her power was born of the sins of war and violence. Without them she was like a flower without rain. Slowly wilting as the suns dries her to wither. She had realized it, but refused to accept it first.

This is your answer. A world without color. A world where she only shines brightly.

Alice didn’t understand why Nia was colored. Why her joyful face remained painted within this world of black and white.

 

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