Chapter 53: Chapter 53: Fate’s Flocking Heart

Nolan sauntered out of a house. The eye blazing like meteors falling down for judgment. There was a trace of blood on his sword. His face dirtied as he walks down this narrow alley along with a person whose limbs were cut down.

The alleyway was that of passage resembling winding tunnels. The tiled roofs overshadowed Nolan and the man who was sobbing, unable to feel pain despite his limbs. He could not shout as he only thought of the fear overwhelming him. Nolan placed him on top of a barrel. His icy eyes staring straight to him.

"Devil!" mouthed the man.

"Not as terrible as you folks," said Nolan. "I only came here to hunt down the fools trying to disrupt rotary inn's business yet I find fools like you slaving people. Fifty people inside a basement and you are lucky I didn't throw you down the cage.

"You cut my limbs!" shouted the man. "You devil!"

"Will you stop gawking?" He pushed the man's wound. "I cauterized your wound and you are alive because of it. All that blood loss would mean that you would have long died. I say that you are lucky to be alive."

"You might as well have killed me!" sobbed the man, his eyes trembling in horror. "You took my limbs! No man would be able to live without his limbs!"

"I know. That's why I cut them off. You'll be dead the moment some rat chews on your skin and tears off the remaining decency you have. Or I could give you mercy by taking your head off"

"What more do you want from me?" said the man tearfully. "You killed everyone. You freed the fifty slaves and took care of everyone and butchered them like pigs! What more can I say? You damned hateful Ghost!"

Nolan snorted, "I was just checking if you know things. Looks like you do not know anything. Very well, I shall leave you alone here."

"Wait!" called the man. "Kill me! End my life!"

Nolan tilted his head. He gazed at the man with coldness, "Why should I give you the mercy of death?"

"Karma!" shouted the man. "Do it you butcher!"

Nolan pulled his fist back, he punched the throat of the man, crushing it completely. The man's tongue swayed, his eyes rolled back lifelessly like a ball. He eyed the man with a cold countenance. This type of killings does not bother him any longer. It was natural to him, he felt odd that it was like that, but that was how things are.

"You are no sane man," said Tania, "You slaughter your kin with no exception and mercy. I thought that you'd be lenient to your kind but to think you'd slaughter them easily. Have you no heart on you, Walker?"

"A preacher once told me that everyone is inherently good. They come to this world of suffering and began to adapt to the evil of it. Killing them was, according to that preacher - an act of mercy."

"Twisted."

"It might be." He continued down the alley. "But that is how things are. I've seen enough of this world to know that you must not allow the wound to fester. Prevention is better than cure."

"Is that so?" she snorted. "What about your soul? Do you not feel that one day the God's will judge you for this slaughter?"

He moved out of the alleyway field with stalls and merchants. The hubbub of the place was enough to drown out the many voices. The sky still scorched above despite the cool wind. He tightly held on to his sword.

"I cannot believe that I am hearing that from a devil," said him with mockery. "Do not act too innocent or you might make me puke."

"At least I do not slaughter my own kin without any thought. I am willing to sacrifice them if it comes to the greater good but I will not kill them without thought. You sound like you stand above the moral high ground but the difference is that we are not that different. No human would be as cruel as you."

"And those men that sold slaves," asked Nolan, "do you think of them as merciful men that did not need to be slain like pigs? Tell me, am I not right in doing justice? I put them down like the monsters they are. That's what it matters."

"You never once looked at yourself, knowing that you might have become a monster?" said Tania. "When you use my blood you shed your human skin. Even I know that the Holy City will hunt you down if you appear like a devil before them. That is heresy itself."

He snickered, "The Holy City where the Pontifex lives do not bother the likes of Bleak Walkers. They think of us as hermits with no place in this world. They do not tolerate evil but knowing they'd use me to slay more of your kind."

"Despicable," she snorted. "At least we don't pretend we are good."

"True," he agreed. "But whose evil depends on the eye of others. You are evil to us and the same perception can be said to your kin. You think of us as an evil race that dares to trample upon your land. You wish to seek the fertile lands but in doing so would means that you need to crush us. You tried sending an envoy once and that was that. You stopped after trying once and you gave up."

"You know nothing so do not speak as if you know anything."

"It is evil itself that you stopped trying. But I do admit that we fear the unknown. Why share the world when we can rid of your people whose blessed with superhuman abilities? The Overlord of Demons will not show us mercy and he thinks of us as sub-races that need to be slaughtered for the good of your own people."

"We cannot agree."

"I know," he nodded. "It would be odd if we agreed at all. I am using you as a weapon, but it does not mean we would understand each other."

"No," she said. "Us not being able to understand each other is something that I can agree on."

…

Rotary Inn had barely any customers yet the shelves were empty. There were signs of plates hurriedly left behind. The counter was filled with empty cups that Alto was trying to clean dully. His movements were slow and his eyes half-closed.

The cups made this squeaky sound that it was hard not to heart it. Nolan slid into the counter and leaned his elbows. He eyed the shelf and lowered his head down.

Alto looked at him, "You smell of blood. Did the job already?"

"I did. They are taken care off."

"Fast as usual. You've been here for quite a while and you've been handling the problems of the Rotary Inn with finesse. I guess having a Bleak Walker who could slaughter both men and monsters living in your Inn is a plus."

"These men are slavers and thugs. Why do the governing bodies don't do their job? The Captain-General isn't doing his duties or am I missing something?"

He looked up, "The Captain-General is busy trying to gain the favor of the War Maiden. Heard the news lately?"

"What?" he asked. "I never heard of anything from the War Maiden from the people."

"They guard it tightly but something changed about the War Maiden. She was the sun once yet now she's a cold rose surrounded with thorns. Men that wanted her affection could not even dare to step near her. She's cold as ice yet there's a beauty on it as well."

"What happen?"

"Some says that she has heard dire news from the Hero of the Elemental Wind. She grew cold by the next day and she has done nothing but kill the forces of the barren lands or any monsters that she could find. She must be really willing to slaughter all of the monsters."

"I don't think she's that restless. I guess you'd need to ask the Hero Elias on what the hell happened? Though I doubt you could get near the War Maiden. You look like you are worried about the lady herself. My friend, I do not doubt your abilities but trying to infiltrate the palace where she lives would prove difficult. I believe you should stop whatever is going inside your head."

"You are right." He lowered his head down to stare at the counter. "It would be foolish of me to try it."

He gave mischievous smile towards him. "You need a drink. You've been drinking too much and I think you should relax and bygone your worries. Being filled with stress would make you go old faster than you should be. Young men like you should enjoy life for what it should be. I always see you anxious and tired from all of this - like a man that must always have a sense of purpose in his life."

"Do you think of me as a cruel man?"

He raised a brow, "What gave you that idea, Walker?"

"I can see that you fear me. Your eyes tell me that you should not cross me. Am I bothering you truly with my stay here?"

He gave a sigh that seems so long.

"I admit that you scare me," said Alto. "You've been cleaning up the streets like a man obsessed. Your ways of killing are profound and experienced. I saw you kill the thugs in the crooked street with ease. The way you handled your blade was bizarre. You are like a fanatical revenant that has awoken from the grave to slaughter all those who wronged him."

"Well, that's what being an Old Heir of the Revenant is."

"Or so I heard," said Alto. "But you have two sigils on your eyes, Walker. You have the gait of a man who walked through hell. You are a living example of a dead man walking. You function only when you kill. It makes me hart to associate you as a human. Pardon me for my tongue."

"You are right. I have forgotten to act well. This body has been practiced to do nothing but endure hardships and live for slaughter. I understand what you are coming from."

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"How long have you been walking this path?" he asked.

"Too long that it makes me want to give up."

"Is that so?" said Alto with a gloomy expression on him. "It must have been a long road for you, Walker. But have you ever thought of finding a bit of happiness for yourself? Forgive me, but you are more of a killing machine than human at this point." He shook his head. "So how about taking a bit of time and rest? There's a good view above the city and it might make you feel what its like to enjoy the cool wind."

"I don't know," he said with a doubtful expression. "I don't like abandoning the tasks that you gave me - not to mention that there is still scum walking this city. I cannot let them grow like weeds."

He palmed his face, "Nolan, just try and endure the cool wind, okay? I'll be okay since you pretty much cleared the city of scum - at least half of them are afraid of coming out with a Ghost killing their people."

"Where is this place?" asked Nolan.

"It should be near the castle and there's a great spot in that place. I bet that you'd love it there. Cool wind and no noise other than the yammer of the wind nagging your ears."

Nolan crossed his arms, "I'll try to visit this place if I could."

"No, you should go and try to visit this place today. Here's a bottle of ale." He threw the bottle lightly at Nolan. "That should keep your bell warm if you feel like its too cold in that place."

He handled the bottle and gazed at it. "I don't know why you are doing this but I shall thank you, Alto. And I think I need to sort my heart and mind out."

"You should," said him. "You are not a machine that needs to work endlessly until you are unable to move. You are a human being that needs to sit down and rest. You need the view of the city to truly understand what may you have been searching for in this world."

"Thank you," he slid out of the chair. He left towards the door.

...

"Fear is a disease that keeps you still. It stops you from your track, derails the choice that you originally thought. You'd think that someone who died twice would know no fear. You'd know the feeling of dying and losing all consciousness that you had in you. You'd think you are fearless.

"Truth to be told you'd know how precious life is after one's death. The feeling of knowing that the life you live is another chance for you to continue on; you'd think that you'd be fearless and reckless – but that is not true. The fact that you've died twice means you know how valuable life is. You'd know how painful it would be to experience the life you've lived. Imagine doing it again; knowing that you have choices to make again.

"My mistake was to assume that I could be an omniscient and achieve perfection. The fall of Oasis was the mistake that made me thought irrationally that I need to step into the shadows. The sight of Ciara's pathetic figure shook my heart harder than it should be – the woman that I adore in my life, beaten, her legs broken, sobbing as she was unable to feel her legs tore the braveness that I thought would never leave me.

"In my life, I saw her as the sun that lights the way. She never looked so defeated and beaten that I feared that I might hurt her. I can blame myself for interfering with her fate. Indeed, I made her the strongest war maiden this world has ever seen – yet I fear to be with her.

"Not once that I think of that scene. The undefeatable War Maiden who never fell on her knees, not once did she showed weakness in battle; always standing up with the weight of the known world hanging on her back. She was intoxicating that seeing her battered state made me fear.

"I do not fear death. This may be contradictory to what I said but I know death. I know what death's embrace is. I fear not for my life but for those who I cared for. I woke up back in time and a few weeks later I made Oasis City fell and saw the person that I cherished the most beaten down on the ground – the person who only fell because of protecting me became like that.

"I saw her die in front of me, smiling, knowing that I would continue to live on. I would forever remember her death and that alone was painful that being wounded is nothing. Wounds heal but the pain she left was forever engraved on my soul. How can I live knowing this?

"It may sound irrational; I know that I've changed the world and the events that will happen – yet knowing nothing about the future scares me. I know that she would be able to triumph over any obstacles know. I could chase over my own happiness yet I could not.

"I imagine if I didn't found her on that desert. She would have been eaten or laid down her life for nothing. It was lucky enough for me to found her while she was alive. If I didn't come in the right time then surely she would have died not knowing the role that she will play in this world.

"I almost let her die. That alone was enough for me to stay away. I've saved her just in time but that isn't enough for me. I am a foolish man who could not stand still unless things are taken care of well. I tell myself that this is nothing but stupidity.

"But I've seen her die! I saw the mightiest person that I ever have known in my whole life beaten and broken! The person who would fight to the end even in a sorry state turned out like that because of me! How could I allow myself to do that again, knowing that I might mess up again?

"I fear for what I could do despite knowing that I already changed the past. I am a Bleak Walker that has learned to face things bravely with a stoic façade. But being fearless and uncaring about things I do not have control does not mean that I would be stupid enough to mess up again.

"As irrational as it may be I find myself staying away – doing things like trapping a demoness inside a sword and using the devil's power to fight better than I should be able to. I am killing myself by using this technique that was created by the combination of the Light Army's knowledge. I was old and at the end of our lives, we thought of using up our old and worn bodies to fight for everyone's light. I grew old thinking of things that might go wrong. Not once after her death that I would think of anything other than things will go wrong. I did it to keep myself calm and peace-minded as I could be. Most bleak walkers are like that.

"When you grow old numb such as me it kinda feels odd that I've to experience such as fear again. Losing her again scares me to the point that I could not allow myself to be near her. Maybe I am thinking about this too much. Any fool would chase after the things that they love and worry about the future once it comes.

"I've heard that the Hero of the Elemental Wind appeared in the city, carrying a wooden coffin on him. I only learned of this after waking up in the morning – when the sky was scorching my forehead. I would have looked at that hero but yet I found no motivation to do so. I am confident in my ability to live through constant stress and barely sleep – yet here I am sitting in this place where I could see the city clearly. I've delivered the ales that were needed to be delivered. I've beaten up the unruly bastards and told them to get away from the Inn unless they want me delivering them to their early grave.

"The palace is visible here, I could sneak up and see her closer but yet here I am afraid of how things might go."

And so he stayed still trying to relax his body against this cool wind.

....

"I've never dreamed of glory and honor. The thought of gaining it never crossed my mind the moment my face got burned and I was left as a grotesque woman that has no chance to love again in this picky world. Not once did I try to gain it but I could be lying to myself.

"I joined the Sword Maidens at the thought of having a place in this world. In this world, you have to find the place that you belong and I thought that maybe a faction that allows women to live as a warrior would do me fine. Indeed, the place was great for me and I fit in nicely – though not everyone was as welcoming. Women like me are said to be cursed – and that I find funny now.

"I worked hard in teaching myself to become a better warrior. I hardened my heart and told myself that others should not feel what I've felt. Quite righteous of me, but I knew the feeling of discrimination and that alone was enough for me to stand in front of someone who was in need of help. No matter how they insult me harshly I would never let them feel the satisfaction they would gain from it. I've faced fools and beaten idiots who thought of themselves as better. I've become numb to the insults they spew at my face for the burned face that I have.

"I thought that I'd be strong enough to endure it. I was strong enough and somewhere along the line, however, I became lonely at the thought that I'd never feel the warmth of companionship. That's why I had to prove myself and become someone better.

"One day, I was saved by a peculiar man who didn't have a disgusted look on his face. He just saved me out of the goodness of his heart. There was this warm feeling that he showed towards me that it made me wonder who he was. The sigils on his eyes showed that he was a walker of the bleak; he's one of the heirs of the Old Revenant. I heard that they were gloomy men but he was rather odd.

"This man was someone who told me that he adored me. I thought he was jesting but the look on his eyes showed otherwise. I may have a burned face but I still felt embarrassed. I thought it was an elaborate joke but I later learned it was not. He truly was serious for a reason I cannot fathom. Maybe it was just that some men have weird fetishes.

"It was odd. Truly, it was odd to me. My heart must have melted some way or another at such rather brave confession. He seems like the type of person who would not give up on someone, at least that's what I thought of him. Indeed, he was someone who I thought I'd looked up to. I saw him fight bravely against enemies and his ability as a warrior shook my heart.

"At the fall of Oasis, where I nearly lost my life, I broke both of my legs. I laid still helpless nearing death. I thought that would be the end but he appeared before me – battered but unbroken by the things he fought. He dragged me out of that hell and for weeks he took care of me. I was a woman who lost her will. I thought I'd be useless but yet he carried me. I wondered why and I lashed out at sometimes due to despair. Yet, I received the blessings of the War God and he told me that I have a role in this world.

"Through monsters that were attracted to the scent of the Light; he killed. He cared for me without any hesitation. He took all the defense of my heart and broke it them apart. He was like a loving husband who would never leave his wife behind – an ugly one too. How could you blame me for falling madly? I felt selfish and the thought of him staying with me maddened my mind.

"I thought that I'd share the happiness of being the War Maiden of this world – yet he left me. This beauty and all this adoration along with this power was something I desired. I do my role yet I wish to talk to him. Yet, fate seems like a cruel jester. I saw his face a while ago. He lies dead in a coffin carried by a Hero. The person who I thought was a great warrior died like that.

"I could not believe it. My heart told me yet as I climb upon this hell I started to tell myself that I have to continue on. If he truly was dead then I can only accept it. I think he'd want me to continue on the path that he took me to. That's when even though it breaks my heart...I have to...eh?"

She stopped. In a bench facing the city, she spotted someone familiar drinking ale with a lonesome face. Behind him was the scenery of the city and his gray and black hair floated upon the air. He didn't notice but when he did he froze. Their eyes met and she started to get confused. Her aching heart grew into bewilderment that ended into being cooled down. She continued with a confused gait. The man who awkwardly stopped his movement could only look at the woman who sat down beside him – her arms folded.

"Eh..."

"I thought you were dead."

"I never was?"

"Why are you here?"

"To rest after a day's work?"

"I see," she nodded. "Do you have time explain yourself? You can start from the time that you just left after that ceremony irrationally. Oh, you should not have any thoughts of escaping."

"This...is quite what I did not imagine."

"What did you imagine?" she said. "I thought that I'd meet you again somewhere again. I just have my heart broke yet the person I was about to mourn is sitting here drinking ale. You were drinking ale and not once did you think of visiting the person that you said you would court and invite her?"

"I see. But I think you will crush my hand."

"Don't worry," she smiled coldly. "I am just making sure that I am not talking to a ghost."

Nolan shivered.

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