Chapter 1: Prologue

An envy so deep, other beings cannot comprehend. An envy so deep, it is bound to the very soul. An envy so deep, one could not bear it. An envy so deep, it screams while looking at what others have. An envy so deep… that is what I am plagued with. An envy so deep… that is my very existence. To envy everything. To want, that is me.

I have always reached out towards the heavens, towards the stars, towards the gods. I am an existence who was made to envy. Ever since my inception, I loathed not having what others could. I had such an unfair existence. Born, but with no parents. Alive, but with no heartbeat. Living, but without a soul. 

Spontaneity, that is me. I was simply spawned in the fringes of this world with no family to call my own. Those who would see me would run on sight like I was a simple beast. Indeed, they call me a “monster”, but what does it mean to be a “monster”? What does it mean to exist?

I ask myself this as I stare at my reflection in the moonlight. Darkness was always more of my friend anyway. I used to curse at the gods for making me a being who could only walk at night, but over time, that was the one thing that I didn’t envy. The darkness was beautiful.

I take in my features once again. My reflection stares back at me. The black slits for pupils shrink as they focus on my reflection. My purple irises become larger as I increase my focus. My face is one that humans would say is that of chiseled beauty, and my long silver hair dangles to the side. I hate this reflection of myself; it is a reflection that I wasn’t even able to create, and it is also not one born from my nonexistent parents. It is a face that was given to me by some superior being known as a god. 

I also hate these protrusions in my mouth, the so-called fangs. They are the reason for my current level of power, but they are also the reason for my own despair. The humans look upon such a feature as revolting, and their churches encourage the behavior. This causes yet another one of my hatred for the gods. My own name wasn’t even given to me by parents or by myself. It was given by this world.

I tap my reflection on the water's surface causing it to ripple with the water. As my reflection gets distorted. It reminds me of the distortion within my own heart that doesn’t beat. I am reminded of my burning envy for all other existences. I am reminded of the deadly sin that has been engraved on my very soul. The sin that is only one of seven. Why does it burn? Why has it given rise to power unlike any other?

At first it would simply take from the environment, but now it is different. In the beginning, it would only take from the mana within the air that surrounds every living being, but now it takes from those very living beings. It detects the life force within every being giving rise to a hunger like no other. It is a hunger that I must act upon, for if I don’t… I will lose my sanity.

This is the part I find the most unfair. Like all other beings, it stands to reason that I must feast to survive; however, my feasting is seen as a plague. Is it because I am a vampire? Or is it because of my original sin? The sin that gives rise to the title of the “Usurper”. That is right, they see me as a thief!

It is only fair to take from others what you do not have yourself. This is one of my only joys in life. I must take from others, so that one day I can become a complete being just like them. I must take from others, so that one day I can be content with myself. All other beings do it, my version is only a little more extreme. It is in the brief moment when I suck the life out of something that I feel complete. That is why, tonight… I hunt.

I stand up from the water's edge and take in my surroundings. Looking around, there are sparse trees at the forest's edge that give way to this serene lake that reflects the two moons. Forward and to the right of the small lake are grassy plains, and beyond that lies a city. This is the direction in which I will be heading. It is the direction of population. It is a direction in which I will be able to “steal” from more people, and so I begin walking. It all starts from taking action, even me at one point was only a simple spirit.

I was surrounded by countless versions of me. We all spawned into existence, and we were all tiny glowing dots which fill the surroundings. It is very hard, if not impossible, to differentiate oneself among these beings. The only thing I knew is that some of the beings are larger dots, and some of the dots moved faster. Instinctively, I knew that I was a being called “spirit”, and I knew my purpose as well. After all, it was then that the gods labeled me a heretic. 

I am supposed to take mana from within the air into my body. Then I am supposed to purify and release it back into the air as a cycle. I was created this way by the gods. Existing and purifying mana is the only reason for my being. Well, some of us are used by other beings in the casting of their spells, but I don’t really understand it. It is not that I do not want to understand. It is that I am not allowed. Each of us spirits has our own purpose.

Personally, I do not care for my own existence. It is without a purpose that I find meaningful. With so many other versions of me, why am I needed? These are the sort of thoughts I had as I floated through the air.

I continued to float through the air for centuries only doing the same mind numbing task until eventually I consumed my first being. Another spirit…

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