Chapter 1: The Runaway Hat

A long time ago, in a large magical continent known as the the Long-Hua Continent, there lived a jiangshi in a jiangshi village called Moon Village. Jiangshis were hopping sentient corpses who had very strong yin cultivation abilities. Although they couldn’t fight with the sword, they could fight very well and were very powerful during the night. Therefore, as they allied with cultivators to fight off various thugs, malicious ghosts and trafficking rings, jiangshi villages started flourishing and appearing near bogs and hilly caverns where yin energy was the strongest.

Now, jiangshis were easily distinguished from other cultivators because all of them wore large round hats with talisman paper stuck on them. These hats were magical artefacts in their own light and each jiangshi had his own unique hat. A jiangshi would often decorate his hat to stand out and after a few hundred years of cultivation, a hat would gain sentience and learn to speak.

Ye Cheng was the type who liked to attach tiny pieces of colourful semiprecious rocks on his hat. Because of this, it shone and glittered under the moonlight. How pretty it looked! Every jiangshi praised his lovely hat, and soon his hat grew quite arrogant.

“Hmph!” said the hat to itself one day. “Why should such a beautiful hat like me belong to a pale little jiangshi? Sure, he’s cute and all, but I deserve better. Indeed, I should go out to the great wide world and look for a new owner, preferably one with a chiselled, handsome face.”

And so, one evening, just as the sun had set, the hat rolled quietly away out of Ye Cheng’s cave. As Ye Cheng had been fighting bandits with the other villagers until daybreak the night before, he hadn’t risen early like he always did. The hat had observed this and decided to make its getaway while he was asleep.

First it rolled slowly outside so that no one would notice it. Once it got bolder, however, it rolled very quickly down the market square.

“Oh dear, isn’t that Ye Cheng’s hat?” cried one jiangshi. “Hi, hat! Stop! Wherever are you rolling off to?”

“I’m off to find a new owner,” replied the hat haughtily. The other hats chirped in surprise.

“Outrageous!” exclaimed one of the other hats. “Whoever’s heard of anyone else wanting a jiangshi’s hat? You silly goose, nobody has any use for a jiangshi’s hat except its own owner!”

This was particularly true. Only a jiangshi could determine how to use his own unique artefact – unlike swords, a jiangshi’s hat was useless to other cultivators as well as other fellow jiangshi who cultivated their own fighting style.

The other jiangshis hopped forward to catch the hat – but dear me, how quickly it rolled! To everyone’s dismay, it rolled around and dodged left and right like lightning, tripping them over. Nobody in the village could move as quickly as Ye Cheng, whose abilities relied on speed. As a result, his hat was extremely fast too.

The naughty, glittering hat rolled out of the village gate at top speed, avoiding the guards. Ye Cheng, who had missed his hat, hopped after it in alarm.

“Oh hatty, do come back!” cried Ye Cheng, but it was no use. The hat wouldn’t listen at all. It continued to roll out of the rocky hills where the village stood, right out into the open grassland.

“Free at last!” cheered the hat. Now that it was out of the village, where should it roll to? To a city, perhaps, where a rich and wonderful king would find it, or perhaps to the sea where a tall and tanned handsome seafarer lived? Aha! The wide world was indeed exciting, with all the options to choose from.

Deciding that it’d like to see the ocean, the hat rolled off towards the sea. There, in a decrepit little hut, lived a fisherman. As this fisherman was tall and had a chiselled, handsome face, the hat rolled right in through the door uninvited.

“Ho there,” said the hat in its proudest tone, “I’m a jiangshi’s magic hat and I’ve deemed you worthy of being my new owner. You may have me on your head if you like.”

“Well, I was indeed looking for a new hat,” replied the fisherman, pleasantly surprised. “My old one’s full of holes, you see. If you don’t mind, I’d love to have you!”

“Indeed you should!” said the hat proudly, and so up it went and settled on the fisherman’s head.

The time it spent in the hut with the fisherman was short. The young man soon ran outside under the hot sun to work with his new hat on his head. Oh, oh, what was this? The little wooden boat he used was so fishy and smelly! The fisherman had begun to sweat too, and all his sweat began to seep into the hat, making it quiver in disgust. The sun was also extremely hot, which didn’t suit the hat’s yin constitution.

“Can’t we stay indoors?” complained the hat loudly, aggrieved. The fisherman blinked at it, astonished.

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“Well, I’m a fisherman,” he said. “It’s my job to catch fish in the hot sun and sweat in the heat. Why would I stay indoors?”

“I say!” exclaimed the hat, shocked. It didn’t want to stay many years caked in sun and sweat! “You’re not the one for me, then. Farewell!”

Catching a gust of wind, the hat flew off in the general direction of a magnificent city. The sun had just begun to dim and soon all the lanterns were lit. Enchanted by the glittering lights, the hat jumped off the breeze and rolled through the gates to where the king lived.

“What a pretty hat!” said the king, admiring the hat. When the hat heard this, he felt extremely proud.

“I’m a jiangshi’s hat, your majesty!” proudly proclaimed the hat.

The king nodded, smiling. “I was looking for a new bauble for my concubines. They do so love beautiful things, you see. Guards! Take this hat to my harem.”

Before the hat could protest, two large guards brought the hat to the back of the palace where the king’s concubines lived. How they shouted and tore at the hat when they saw it!

“What a beautiful hat!” screeched one concubine, raising it up in delight. In a thrice, another concubine appeared to shove him away.

“Stop hogging it,” he said, snatching the hat away roughly.

“You stop hogging it!” shouted yet another concubine, pulling at the hat to have it for himself.

The hat squealed in pain. One or two of its beautiful semiprecious stones fell out. Oh dear! However lovely these young men looked, to the hat they were nothing more than a flock of ravens clawing at a single piece of meat. What a to-do there was!

Luckily, a gust of wind came blowing into the lavish courtyard. Once again the hat jumped onto the wind and sailed away! When it reached the outskirts of the city, it jumped down and began to roll away again. However, this time it felt rather ragged and lonely.

“I’m lost!” wept the hat. “Oh dear! If only I hadn’t run away. I do miss Ye Cheng – he was always so kind to me, keeping me clean and decorating me with beautiful stones. How I wish I was home!”

The hat rolled about sadly, looking for a bush to rest under. While it was rolling about, a pair of large, warm hands scooped it up.

“I say!” said the voice. “Aren’t you Ye Cheng’s hat? I could recognize you anywhere. What are you doing here?”

The hat looked up and was overjoyed. The owner of the pair of hands was none other than Ye Cheng’s sweetheart, a nomadic warrior from the bordering grasslands!

Almost in tears, the hat began to recount its travels to the young warrior. How he laughed when he heard it!

“I’ll take you home, hatty,” said the young man, patting it kindly. “You’ve been through quite a bit, I’m sure! I hope you’ve learned your lesson. I’m very certain Ye Cheng will be glad to see you again, at any rate.”

And as sure as rain he was! Ye Cheng welcomed back his hat and wore it proudly on his head. As for the hat, it never spoke again of having a different owner – and you can be sure you know why!

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