Chapter 133: 137. Sacrifice Part 10

Cariha had been safe for so long. She had kept herself from danger for years because of the sin that she had to cleanse from her soul. She was raised by an average human family, one that was devout and, naturally, quite conservative.

She had always remained close to the church. She had always remained pious, a very faithful worshiper. However, she had always had… impure desires. It started first when she was twelve. She had many friends in school but one of them was both her best friend and a beauty.

She had gravitated to the girl and started to develop romantic interest towards her. She didn’t understand the nature of her homosexual attraction or how such desires were treated by the church at that time. At that age, she was simply not taught about sex at all.

One day, she had met with the girl and gone into a private park. She had decided to kiss the girl. She had noticed girls do this with boys and even saw her parents show their affection with a kiss.

She had given her friend a kiss on the cheeks. Her friend had blushed and looked happy. Then, Cariha delivered one to her lips. That made her friend angry. Her friend had accused her of sinning against God. She was angry, but Cariha had not understood why that was in the slightest. She was only acting as she felt was natural to her.

She had simply assumed that attraction was not just something between a man and a woman. Furthermore, she felt some reciprocation from her best friend as well.

Cariha did not wish to deal with her accusation of sinning against God. She was a devout believer as well. She felt like she had sinned and wished to ask for forgiveness from her. She begged her friend for forgiveness. She pleaded with her. However, not only would her friend not forgive her but she threatened to report her to the church.

Though Cariha was devout, she was not willing to accept such a possibility. It would greatly inconvenience her family. Her parents would hate her if her actions resulted in their family being shunned by the church or, even worse, excommunicated. As she thought about that possible fate, she decided to make a choice.

It was the first time that she had killed someone.

Cariha had been able to bury her as well using a rudimentary earth magic spell. She had come home covered in dirt, crying and exhausted. It was her first time using a spell to displace that much earth and she had overused her mana.

Her friend was reported as missing and the guards started investigating her disappearance.

Her friend’s parents accused her of being the last person with her. Her family knew that she had done something to her friend. They could piece things together that she had something to do with it as they had noticed her state of extreme distress on that day. In order to keep the image of their family intact and to save face at the church, they said nothing.

They refused to even talk to Cariha about her actions, embracing denial above all else. Cariha was fine with that as she never explained any of her actions to her parents. 

She had gotten away with it. It was the first moment she realized how much her family loved her. She was deeply loved, so much so that her family would shield her from the consequences of even murder against another human. She had thought to herself that her friend should have just accepted her love as well.

She began to believe that she was loved by God because of how she had gotten away with her sin of murder against a human being.

She grew into a more narcissistic person as a result of these circumstances. Though she eventually learned that her attraction to women was a sin according to Osva, her narcissism told her that she was an exception to that rule.

Yet, she could not be with human women, she had at least learned that lesson. She had to make use of someone who was not equal to her, someone who she could have power and mastery over. She had chosen a demihuman woman as her next romantic partner shortly after turning fifteen.

At first, she had seen the relationship as one of power, control and sexual gratification. She felt no guilt. But, unknowingly, she started to develop romantic feelings towards her demihuman lover. The woman was submissive to her. She listened to her feelings. She loved her. She did truly love her.

Then, she died. Her death was a complete shock to everything that Cariha had believed. Unknown to either of them, her lover had been exposed to a carcinogenic chemical that had seeped into the water supply of her demihuman neighborhood. She died of a tumor in her liver that metastasized to her bones. She had died in agony without receiving any medical care or attention from a healer.

Cariha had never learned the cause of her death so she assumed it was some form of divine intervention. She grew to believe that her life of sin was intervened with by Osva himself. She realized she had committed an unforgivable sin by embracing her homosexual nature. Her narcissism made her believe that her life that had once been blessed by Osva was now cursed by him.

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This particular mix of self-regard, insanity and loss made her a particularly good target for a neo-pagan cult that would one day be subsumed by the Twin Moons.

She tortured herself, gave herself punishment after punishment and yet felt no less empty. She suppressed her sexual desires continuously until they became more like a gnawing urge that could be satiated through violence against women who were attractive to her. 

Eventually, she had learned about the ritual contained within the red heretic bible. It brought her along to her current situation today.

She had been so sure of her success in this plan. She had thought of herself as someone who was meant to receive God’s forgiveness. She thought he had meant to put all of these new trials in her path.

Yet, here she was now, being confronted by a beautiful demihuman woman who is about to end her life and condemn her to hell. 

Before she knew it, her three female confidants were killed.

She was slowly trying to crawl away but could not stand up because of the stab wound in her thigh. She was in severe anguish after hearing the sound of her friends dying. But, she still needed to escape. She needed to try to perform the ritual some other time.

She needed to do anything she could to reach the true heaven. Her friends had died just now. They each had unforgivable sins that they had not shared with her. They were all about to face hell. Cariha would not wish to follow them.

It is what God wants… he wants me to reach him. He wants me to absolve myself of my sins. He loves me… he wants me to reach him. I… I can’t die here. Like this… Like them!

She believes that she deserves a more dignified death. She believes that she deserves a death filled with meaning, one where she would die innocent as she was always meant to be. However, soon she hears the sounds of footsteps moving towards her.

“W-Wait! D-Don’t kill me yet! I-I can offer you—“

She was flipped onto her back and saw the face of the demihuman woman above her. She was a beautiful woman. Even now, she wanted to be put in her place by this strong woman. She wanted to be stepped on. She wanted to be brutally murdered by her after seeing her cold eyes towards her.

She felt the attraction that she had repressed surfacing once again at the moment of her death. But she didn’t wish to end life while sinning against Osva and embracing her perverse desires. She wanted to do what she could so that he would judge her worthy to join him in the true heaven. Perhaps she could do just one thing that would leave her life with some form of meaning.

Just one would be enough.

“Please… Please, just let me pray one last time—”

Sigvor doesn’t even consider her request. He simply stabs her in the eye and ends her life. 

All that is left for him now is to go help Dzan with the men who came after him. She feels already exhausted by all this.

Such pointless actions. If all it did was bring you to me, why would you pursue those kinds of lives?

With that last thought, Sigvor sighs. She then sprints up the stairs towards Dzan and his enemies.

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