Chapter 3: Chapter 2: Future

On the planet known as Earth, there are no native gods. The generation process for deities within the galaxy of the Jiltre Vastiga is inherently random; it is not that humans can pray hard enough or dream long enough and eventually gods will awaken. Furthermore, from now on gods can never arise independently in this galaxy due to the death of the Vastiga. The galaxy will not be granted any further deities until it reaches the boundaries of another galaxy or until the intervention of the remaining divine entities.

Gods can be created in various ways. First off, there are the gods that were created through the randomized creation mechanics of the Jiltre Vastiga. Many gods have been born in the galaxy through the Jiltre Vastiga alone, let this not be understated. Gods can actually also be formed through worship, prayer, and other convergences of intelligent thinking and creativity. Other galaxies, local groups and realms may have slightly adjusted rules of physics and magic. It is certainly allowed that in some galaxies, gods can be born through the convergence of enough thoughts and dreams of a critical mass of intelligent creatures.

Gods can also be born through spectacular mana events. Mana is that irresistible force that can be acted on by beings of a certain intelligence, the fuel of magic. The intelligence threshold isn’t particularly high; for example, even insects can understand how to bend mana if they are in an environment with enough mana to practice with and use. Due to mana’s relationship to living creatures, it is almost a certainty that there is life nearby if there are any sources of mana in the vicinity. Furthermore, in places where mana is abundant and permeates every living thing, it is more likely that a god exists as well rather than not. This is because mana itself can form living creatures under the right magical circumstances and mana abundance; some of the mana beasts can ascend to godhood or even be born into such a station. The chances of a mana god being born is virtually zero in this galaxy even while the Vastiga was alive, but a mana creature such as an elemental while very rare can flourish and survive very well on Omicron.

Finally, gods can be created by other gods, by other demiurges with the same abilities as the Jiltre Vastiga, and of course through the intervention of the Mother. If a thing is capable of existing, the Mother is capable of creating it, one of the laws of existence itself. The Mother can create gods that believe in Her, gods that hate Her, gods that don’t know of Her or even gods that worship Her. Most gods in existence are primarily created by the Mother as well. However, the reasons for Her making the deities are almost incomprehensible and basically unstrategic. Like the Jiltre Vastiga, the Mother creates because She can, to experience the world She made and to submerge Herself in all aspects of life as a participant. For She is the omnipresent soul.

Conversely, whatever the Mother can create, the Divine Limit can destroy. But, that doesn’t mean that the Divine Limit cannot create. The procedure of creation is just more difficult for Him and something He cannot do solely by Himself. It just isn’t His domain. He requires the help of the Mother in order to create children. This brings us to Ajax and Shaula. These are two entities created not by any of the gods but by the Mother and the Divine Limit. They are true children of heaven, more powerful than any god, with abilities that no other god can have, develop or use. The Divine Limit considers the two of them more important than galactic superclusters’ worth of other living creatures.

In preparation for their future, He appeared to them in a dream during the night. Knowing the two of them would not remember the details, He gave them advice. It was His first time speaking to His children since their birth. At the moment, He took a look at their faces in the dream and they looked into His eyes. A moment of joy for the Divine Limit, however, a moment of pure terror from His children. He didn’t blame their current fragility. They were born through the Mother after all and even She only looks into His eyes when she seeks to destroy major quantities of souls from the universe. But, to actually be able to look upon His children’s faces reminds Him of why He continues to raise them and why He loves them.

Their journey will be difficult. However, he has given them their first task. He isn’t one to coddle them just because they are His children. They need to understand the world they were born into. 

It is now morning and Ajax and Shaula walk together, wearing their school uniforms. Ajax is tall and a bit dull in terms of his uniform combo and overall look, but Shaula is quite stylish. Aside from his uniform attire, Ajax has a crucifix around his neck, a watch on his left wrist and has his medium length hair parted in the middle. His build is fairly average, six feet in height, but he is conscious of how people view him. He makes it a point to watch out for acne and keep his face out of the sun for too long. He’s begun working out recently to some effect. Shaula meanwhile has her hair in a ponytail with a red wolf earring on one ear and a musical note on the other. She has an athletic, voluptuous physique and is about as tall as Ajax is. Her skin is soft and properly moisturized. Her blouse, tie and skirt combo fills her with confidence. 

Shaula, unlike Ajax, is quite a bit more naturally gifted in terms of both looks and intelligence. While Ajax might be one to study for hours before an important test and ace it, she can study an hour or two in between school and a part time job, show up late on test day and still ace it. Although, she doesn’t have the same aspirations as Ajax. She wishes to make money as quickly as possible which is why she chose her industrial electrician apprenticeship path. Taking a student loan with her lack of support would be extremely difficult but luckily, the field she picked at Nor Rasmussen is currently in high projected demand for the foreseeable future. Her classes are also close to Lower Dietrich’s main STEM campus which would allow her to eventually find a cheap off-campus place to share with Ajax in their second or third years. She would like to pay for his room and board too if possible in order to pay him back for living with him and his family but he would never accept something like that. But, she will find a way to pay him back.

He has done a lot for her so Shaula is protective of him and careful about his feelings and his mood. She wants what’s best for him, just like he wants for her. One of the things they do share in common are their introverted tendencies. Neither of them made many friends at school and perhaps gravitated towards each other at first because they were similarly alone. It always started with them being placed in the same team on group projects after all. Shaula looks over at Ajax who is walking forward absentmindedly and asks a question of him.

"So… what was up with Rita earlier?"

"...Hm?"

He looks at her, not having heard the question. His head is only filled with thoughts of one thing right now. 

"Stop worrying about the test will you? What'll happen if you fail it anyways?"

"An undesirable outcome, how about that?"

"Ugh."

Annoyed, Shaula makes a jerk-off gesture with her right hand and spits on the sidewalk at his uptightness. She finds that he is really too focused on his ‘career track’, without a real life outside of school and his family. That’s not that bad a thing but it feels a bit too limiting for someone like him who might already be on his way to being a permanent shut-in. Ajax remembers her original question and looks down while continuing to walk.

"Rita… well, I had a dream last night. It was really… it's a bit hard to tell nightmares apart, sure, but this one felt really disturbing."

"Oh, you too?"

Shaula looks at him with slight surprise and he looks back.

"What, you had a nightmare last night too?"

"Yeah, yeah I did. It was shitty. Like, I've had a lot of nightmares over the past few years but this one. It was like being shot with bullets made of fear. Like for a brief moment, I was in hell. I think… I was walking down a dark street lined with flowers and I heard a voice talking to me so I turned my head and saw someone walking beside me. I looked at the face and then all I remember is I started bawling in the dream."

"Flowers? Huh…"

“All you heard is flowers? Fucking hell…”

Shaula speaks about the dream nonchalantly almost but her eyes shake slightly while recalling the dream she had. Unlike Ajax, she remembers clear bits of her dream, her meeting with the Divine Limit. Certain moments remain in her mind and try as she would like, she cannot forget them. Ajax whistles in surprise.

"I saw some flowers too. I remember waiting beside one that was really familiar and watching it for a minute or two while someone talked to me. I think? That’s trippy, what are the chances you and I have similar dreams."

"Forget about it, fuck that dream. So, what then? I'm guessing you told Rita or…?"

"No, I just had, like, a flashback of that dream. It hit me out of nowhere while I was having some fun with her, so rude."

"Ah, well she hasn't seen a lot of adults scared huh. Little kids can be creeped out by things like that. Violence, fear, pain and shit."

"I mean, she's seen some of the cutscenes from my videogames–"

"Fine, fine, so she picked something up about how you’re feeling, ‘kids having more understanding than we think’, that whole thing."

"Yeah, I guess."

They continue to walk in silence for a few seconds. Ajax places his hands behind his head as he continues to ponder his morning. He laughs at himself silently and puts on a bitter smile. His dream was just a dream, it wasn’t a vision of the future. He probably ate something that gave him that nightmare, maybe too much food before bed yesterday night. He really needs to stop thinking so highly of himself, he’s not an anime protagonist. Shaula looks up towards the sky with slightly more on her mind about that dream. It’s not a vision to her. It’s not a premonition either. But there is something wrong. Something that she shouldn’t have felt was felt during that dream. At most, she can see that her mind is trying to tell her something. Something she has forgotten about that she should keep in mind. She has experienced pain enough already but this dream was on another level. 

Ajax laughs a little as he looks over at her while continuing to walk.

"You know, I've never felt the fear of death before. There's never been anything so powerful. That fear, I can't imagine the fear of death being worse than that. What an… experience."

That word choice made Shaula pause for a moment. Furthermore, she can see for a brief moment, a slight smile on his face.

"Hmm, are you the kind of guy who loves roller coasters?"

"No, no no, I hate roller coasters. At least I think I would, I've never been on one. Does it feel like you're about to die?"

"I'm guessing at least the first time feels that way. You're not used to it, you're thinking that anything could theoretically happen even if roller coasters are as safe as walking to the bathroom or taking an elevator."

"Are they really that safe?"

"I don't fucking know."

Shaula laughs slightly. Shaula looks back at him again and asks cautiously.

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"You look like you wanted to have that dream."

"What? Come on now, that's not what it is."

"What what is?"

"Ah… haha, wait–"

"So you don't feel all bad about your nightmare?" She sneers at him talking so cavalierly about his horror. Perhaps they didn’t have a similar dream after all since all she feels from her dream is terror.

"Ok, alright, it's just that… the nightmare had power."

"Power?"

"There are people who receive a dream and change their whole lives. That's how all the old prophets came up, right?"

"..." Shaula doesn't like where this is going.

"It made me rethink something."

"Yeah? What?"

That last word was spoken with irritation. Ajax picked up on that and sped up.

"I mean, I was just thinking about my future. Am I really all in on this whole chemical engineering track? What if it's wrong? That moment was like something in the Matrix that would have forced me to wake up. Maybe I need to rethink my life. That's what I was… thinking…"

"Huh. That's…"

Dreams cannot be underestimated. There are many who change their whole lives, live and die by single dreams. People can receive knowledge and wisdom through their dreams, they can solve their problems in their dreams, overcome their fears, change their perceptions and even live different lives. Dreams cannot be underestimated. Even this nightmare. For her, what should have been an easy English exam has been tarnished by it. It feels like bugs are crawling under her skin. The soft claws of a demon reach out for her. Every shadow hides an enemy.

But Ajax’s reaction to his dream didn’t feel so useful. There are many reasons why Ajax is a great person to Shaula. Shaula had been homeless for a while. It was after her foster parents had died in the fire that destroyed her childhood home. She had first tried to make it in a group home but the negligence and conditions of the underfunded city-run group homes were terrible. Eventually, she was living in a tent city and had continued to live there during her 11th grade school year and even part way through July after her year ended. Ajax had found out about her homelessness and begged her to come live with him rather than on the street. Shaula was uselessly stubborn about debts especially to someone who was already her one and only best friend but he was persistent. Then, one day in August, that homeless encampment was flooded with cops and the people were pushed out. The new mayor ran on a tough-on-crime message that ended up being mostly tough on the homeless. She felt bad for herself but more for the poor who didn’t have any other options. Ajax found her that day and finally convinced her to come to his home and stay with his family.

He is trustworthy, generous and truly kind, both in word and in action. However, there’s also this other part of Ajax where he has these delusions of grandeur and starts to behave like an edgy teenager or novel protagonist, like a hero starting their journey. In most other aspects, he’s a straight arrow, realistic in his outlook and able to pursue his goals. He wouldn’t be able to pursue a chemical engineering degree at Lower Dietrich of all places if that wasn’t the case. But at other times, he has these flights of fancy, the kind that can only come from living in the upper middle class Briboia suburbs for most of his life. Luckily, he’s not the worst of them all as their classmates at Anne Bond can be much more annoying and entitled. But, Ajax still does have this side to him that makes Shaula exhausted at times.

In truth, Shaula wanted Ajax to be a bit happier and picking an engineering track felt like being pushed towards something really difficult. She wasn't sure if he has the level of resolve to study as much as such a degree would entail. But this current train of thought he’s on doesn't feel like rethinking, it’s a bit too shallow for that.

"The past few months I was wondering if things were a bit too planned out for me. Sometimes I think I'm doing chemical engineering because that's what someone else wants. But it's not like my parents have forced me into it… I mean, it just feels like we’re being fed a line, you know? Like, luckily my parents didn’t lose their homes during that housing crisis but things just seem to get worse and worse year after year in this country. What with global warming and whatever, why am I doing something like this? It feels a bit pointless. Maybe I should be living for a more relaxed future if things are just gonna get shitty anyways–"

“Ajax.” Ajax stops speaking at Shaula’s cold voice. Perhaps, he’s spoken out of line.

“...”

“You know what I want, right?”

“...”

“Look at me, Ajax.”

Ajax looks over at Shaula. Her face is cold, not specifically towards him but towards something past him. Something she doesn’t want him to see. Her own future.

“You know, right? You know how things will turn out for me, right?”

“Wait. Hold on, you don’t have to–”

“I wish words could get through to me, Ajax, I really… really do, but I’ve already seen too much. You know me. You know what I want. The next few years will be calm, so you don’t have to worry. But I do have a dream that I won’t give up.”

“...Yeah. Yeah. I get it.”

Ajax stops going down this train of thought as Shaula’s sharpened resolve snaps him out of it. He knows what she wants to do. His current feelings of emptiness are quite shallow indeed in comparison to her path. Things won’t work out for him if he lives half-heartedly. He still cares about his future after all and still has people that he wants to make happy. He wants to show his family what he is capable of. He really does want to do that. He really does want to make them proud. Shaula sighs.

“You’ve heard the phrase ‘Victory has defeated you’?”

“Steroid guy in that movie, right?”

“Yeah, him. That’s how it is for suburbanites like you. You get everything you need, everything you want but some of you feel entitled because of your little empire or satisfied with being forgotten and lazy. You have a potential, Ajax, and you haven’t lived long enough to have squandered it. I love you, Ajax, but I know you wouldn’t want to live my life. It’s just not for you. Just live one that’s better, one with a future.”

“Right. I’m sorry, Shaula, I didn’t mean to–”

“Let’s not have a pity party right now, it’s not about that. There are pieces in what you said that are true. A lot of things look hopeless. Perhaps that nightmare is how things will really be. But you don’t live for how things are going to be, you do what you want and wade through the mess. For better or worse Ajax, you’ve picked higher education.”

“...”

“I honestly don’t know if engineering is the right path for you, I’m not you. But it’s not the only path. You’re not locked in yet, you can still switch programs or change schools, fuck, you can even join my program. You have gotta do things in the right state of mind though. You gotta learn the right lessons from your dreams. I didn’t become your friend to watch you give so easily. I want you to live a good life, you know?”

Ajax feels a bit better about his jumbled up thoughts this morning. Shaula was always really good at this. At setting his thoughts on the right track. Who knows how long she’s been thinking about things for herself too. She knows a thing or two, doesn't she? Ajax and Shaula pause the conversation as they walk into Anne Bond. They make their way to their English classroom to the back where they normally sit and get themselves ready for the test.

If Ajax and Shaula were normal humans, if they didn’t have a much grander destiny, perhaps Ajax would have been able to pursue this path that he had set out for himself. Shaula and he would start their first years while continuing to live at home with Ajax’s family. The commute time would be an hour and ten minutes but they would get through it together. She would continue to talk to him about what he wanted to do and he would start to take her advice. He would get tired of chemical engineering and switch programs to pharmacy. The requirements would be more specialized rather than the stuff that all engineering students take in their first years and he would be happier in pharmacy as well.

In their second years, Ajax and Shaula would live together in an off campus apartment, an unbelievable steal, normally impossible to find in New Amsterdam but their luck was high. Ajax and Shaula would start dating in their fourth year of university and get married two years after graduation. They would elope at a courthouse and one day visit the place where the homeless encampment was. For a full decade, Shaula would continue to hold onto her dream as the world continued to slowly fall apart in front of her eyes. Ajax was right about the state of the future and her dream was always a point of focus for her when wading through her life. She will not let it go until Ajax and she decide to adopt a child together. On the day they make that decision together, they revisit her goal that she hasn’t let go of since high school; they happily put it away together.

A normal life wouldn’t be so bad for Shaula or Ajax. A normal life wouldn’t be so bad for Shaula or Ajax. However, at 10:35am today, they would be brought towards a different future.

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