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Even though court life is full of events, I am one of those people who can't enjoy it to the fullest. Thankfully, because I don't want to attend every single tea party.
Still, there are some I can't skip.
For example, my own open day is a tea party. I can't just get up and leave. It's written in the job description: the Queen holds social events once a week for anyone willing to attend.
I'm getting used to it, though. And I can get away from it using the excuse of being tired because of pregnancy. I'll still have to sit there and listen to blabbering for a couple of hours, but there's no need to keep it going for more than that.
Babies have their perks, I guess.
Today, the party is chaotic because of the number of guests. Ladies from any rank came here with the hope of leaving a good impression. I might as well select a couple to pretend to be Ignis's mistresses and get it over with. That would solve every issue.
But I can't! Oh, if only I wasn't this possessive, life would be easier. It's not that I don't trust Ignis, especially after he told me so many times he won't betray me. But it's still difficult. I need more time to engrave this conviction, this new trust, in my brain.
«Your Majesty, you look distracted,» a lady says. She's sitting not far from me, a sign that either she came here early or she's the daughter of a high-ranking family.
I don't even remember all the faces I've seen today, let alone the names. Ladies come and go, and I'm supposed to know them all.
Luckily, I'm good at pretending to know what's happening even when I have no clue.
What did she say? Oh, right. Distracted.
It's not like the conversation was as deep as to require focus.
«Is your Majesty worried because of the attempts at your life?» another one inquires from a seat further away.
«Yes, I am worried,» I say. «I have a new life to protect.»
«His Majesty has employed half of the Royal Guards for your Majesty's well-being. The investigations are speeding up. I'm sure we'll know everything soon!»
Hmm? How do all these ladies know the details?
«I've heard that the pregnancy has made your Majesty worry about the King's affection,» an elder lady adds.
Not really an elder. She's a few years older than my mother.
Honestly, I'm more worried about my life. I'd like to hear more about how safe I am before changing the topic. Still...
«It's normal for us women to doubt ourselves during such delicate periods, but your Majesty has no reason to worry. With this child, especially if you have the luck of giving birth to a son, your position won't be in danger anymore.»
My position has never been in danger.
«Even if the King does have other women, you are the lawful wife. And you will be the mother of his legitimate children.»
Ah, am I really required to sit here and listen? I'd lie down, eat some dried fruits, and remember the nights I spent with Ignis.
«I am not worried,» I reply. «I very well know my position, and I don't doubt the King's feelings for me.»
You misses can stop hoping for it. You should have moved before he got married, for goodness.
«Has your Majesty already chosen the nannies for the new Prince or Princess?»
«Nannies?»
It's early, come on!
«I haven't yet, officially, but I already know who it's going to be.»
Aida will protect this child until my mother sends another Mage to the capital. My handmaid is my personal guard, and she won't abandon my side for her whole life. I can't ask her to be loyal to my child.
Yet, if the Prince has magical powers, he will be surrounded by our people sooner than later. One day, I will also select his personal guard, just like mother did for me when she named me Crown Princess.
But those moments are far in the future. Right now, I need human help to raise my baby.
Among my maids, there will surely be someone able to do it. As for the nannies, I want to talk about it with Ignis before deciding because it has to be a noble close to the Royal Family.
«My sister is also with child,» a lady says. «She will give birth a couple of months earlier than your Majesty.»
Oh, now that they decreased the pressing on one side, they're attacking the other. They're desperately looking for ways to take away what is mine: both my husband and my child. They are already offering playmates for a baby not yet born.
«I've heard about the Crown Princess's engagement,» a third one says.
They are pros at changing the topic. Maybe, they do realise from my expression that they're getting on my nerves.
But talking about politics at a tea party? Is it wise?
«It looks like there's a run for her Highness's hand. Many countries are interested in her, but his Majesty prefers to keep her in Alba,» they add.
«I would think his Majesty sent her away now that his heir is on the way...»
«Oh, but she won't be Crown Princess very soon... There's no meaning in sending her away. By keeping her in Alba, his Majesty can keep her Majesty, the Queen Dowager, in check. She's too attached to that child of hers, and she won't rebel if she's nearby. It would endanger her Highness.»
«I believe it's all a plan to show her how his Majesty has power over the family. After all, he's been so merciful to them even if they never did anything except oppose him.»
«The Princess is just a child. She has no power of her own. Sending her away wouldn't have any effect neither on the court nor on the place where she marries. It would be just an alliance; one easy to break at that.»
«I've heard she will be married to a son of the late Count Grif. The younger one. The boy is close in age to the Princess.»
«She's lucky, then. Not every daughter of the Royal Family can have such a marriage. She will stay in her home without losing her place, and she will have a young husband.»
«Oh, but he's the son of a traitor!»
I see... Gossip makes these ladies burn in curiosity. They talk about it as if they knew everything behind the reasons for such a marriage. But it's better: I'm not required to speak. I can just listen.
«The son of a traitor, sure. But also the brother of his Majesty's friend.»
«How odd, isn't it? Count Grif, I mean, the old one, has been quite silent and calm. Who could imagine he would join the traitors and kill our late King in cold blood.»
«You never know,» a woman says with a shrug. «Traitors are difficult to spot. If it wasn't like that, we wouldn't have had a coup.»
«The current Count is in a good relationship with his Majesty. He was also a friend of the late Crown Prince. It's no surprise he's close to Princess Juliet now. He feels indebted to his late Highness, and he wants to help his family during difficult times.»
Friend with Ignis and with his dead brother at the same time? I didn't know this... I thought Samuel Grif grew up with my husband, two second sons sustaining each other.
«Oh, wouldn't it be only fair for the Princess to find a new husband?»
It's been less than a year since her husband died, for goodness.
«She's lonely, and she has a daughter to bring up. Lady Aestas is part of the Royal Family, so any man would accept her as part of his household. And there's a limit to how long a woman can stay alone without turning crazy.»
I haven't heard anything about the Queen Dowager's remarriage. Why is the Princess eligible for a new relationship, though? It's odd.
«Why do you say that?» I ask, tilting my head. «The Princess has a daughter to think about. She doesn't have much time to think about love.»
The ladies exchange weird glances, but one eventually talks.
«The Princess had little luck in her first marriage. Her first baby died in a poisoning attempt, and the late Crown Prince would spend more time with his mistresses than with her. Everyone here knows he would visit her only once a month, and only until she had a child in her womb. After news about her pregnancy was heard, he didn't meet her again.»
«For months,» I whisper.
Poor Princess. She had little luck with her marriage, for real. Oh, but she has her child and her new life as a free woman, doesn't she?
«It's a mystery how the Prince didn't leave any bastard son behind, though. His many mistresses all had that in mind while bedding him: a little Prince to improve their standing in the court. There's no way he could control every single one of them. Yet, no child was left behind except for lady Aestas.»
I'm too tired to listen any further.
I'm sorry for Juliet. She's alone, far from home, worried about her child. All she received from this foreign court is words of judgement and gossip about her husband's mistresses.
I wouldn't appear in public that often either if I was in her place. It's no wonder she asked us to become the child's godparents.
«Lady Aestas is a miracle we all are thankful for,» I say before collecting my gowns and leaving the party.. Two hours are over, finally.
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