Chapter 174: Glass

Rowan sensed a crack developing on the glass floor that held them up and separated them from a reality that was built upon all the problems that could crop up in an unorthodox relationship like theirs. The anti mage had tried to adapt to his mage's eccentricities, risk-taking behaviour, and impulsivity. But sometimes, there were limits that even he could not cross. He would toe the line for Syryn but beyond that, Rowan wasn't sure how much further he could go.

"Ro, I won't do it again," Syryn said to him but he sounded hollow.

Rowan was pulled in two directions. One side wanted to tell Syryn he could have everything his heart desired, including feeding off of a living selkie. The other side wanted him to praise the mage for being good. In the end, he chose to say nothing about it.

The anti mage sighed. Now wasn't the time to think about his relationship. Syryn had to be checked first.

"I'll get Felix to look at, then you can tell me what happened in the forest that night."

----

Felix was on the lean side, but tall. He wore round rimless glasses and had the aura of a smart and respectable healer.

"Syryn, it's a pleasure to meet you," he said in a professional tone. "I've been wanting to thank you for the potions and the recipe you sent us. It was a life saving favor you did for a lot of the soldiers at Nunox."

The mage woodenly nodded, not at all in the mood for conversation. Felix felt his reluctance to speak and went straight to checking Syryn's health. The mage appreciated smart people who were able to read the atmosphere and adapt to it. It made him more receptive to the man's treatment.

Felix was efficient but gentle with his patient. He asked the right questions, kept it professional, and asked for Syryn's own input as a healer. By the time they were done, neither could find any reason to be alarmed about considering the half demon's current health condition.

"I wish we could have met under better circumstances," Felix said to Syryn as he packed up his papers and tools of trade.

"Me too," the half-demon dully answered.

"Call for me again when and if you feel sick," Felix told his lethargic patient. The sight he had witnessed from the door was still burnt in his mind but Felix wasn't one to judge people. Glass houses and all that.

"Thank you for visiting," Syryn politely told him.

----

Syryn was already feeling the effects of ingesting Riha's blood. Strength was returning to his body. The weakness and hunger he had felt upon waking up no longer bothered him anymore. Selkie blood really was potent to a demon. It hadn't been so long ago but Syryn was already thinking about drinking more.

He turned his head to look at the anti mage who had just entered his room. For the first time in a very long time, Syryn saw hesitance in the blond. Was Rowan feeling the same way he was? Would he be abandoned when Rowan realised that Syryn could be good but the demon in him would never leave?

"Felix told me that further observation is necessary, but for now, you're in good health," Rowan said after lowering himself into the chair he had previously occupied. Syryn tried to read the anti mage was it was difficult to. Rowan was a smooth canvas.

"I'm fine. I feel fine. Take my word as a healer that I'll be alright."

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"What happened that night, Ryn?" Rowan leaned over and rested his elbows on his thighs.

"I was ambushed by a woman who identified herself as Elius."

Syryn had hoped to get a reaction from the anti mage; any hint of a recognition, but there was none. Rowan nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"And then some other guy with white hair intervened. He saved me. I passed out. The end." The lack of enthusiasm in his explanation did not detract Rowan's focus and interest.

"What did they look like?"

"I don't know. I was paralysed and couldn't move my head to look at them. All I know is they had voices that were hypnotising sweet." Syryn liked Milky's voice more.

"The White-haired man-"

"It was Milky," Syryn interjected. Still no reaction from the anti mage.

"I see."

The mage wanted to shake the anti mage and demand he spill everything.

"You're hiding so much from me, Rowan. It doesn't feel nice. I hate it." Syryn knew it was unfair to say this to the anti mage when he himself was being secretive because of the forced oath. But Syryn missed the uncomplicated relationship they'd had in the past when he didn't have to worry about the world ending up under the rule of Traxdart.

Why did he care anyway? Syryn could abandon Rowan to his task as the hero. Lillith could step in again. Rowan would know what to do. This time around, the anti mage was physically and mentally stronger.

"Ryn, when I said I loved you, I meant it," Rowan's reply interrupted the destructive direction his thoughts had been taking.

"I want to open my heart to you and have you see everything - all my secrets laid bare before you. But I can't." The anti mage reached out to hold Syryn's hand in his broad palm. "For the sake of our future, forgive my inability to tell you what you want to know."

Syryn curled his hand into the seams of Rowan's fingers. Why was life so complicated? Why couldn't he be happy when he was already with Rowan? His lack of relationship experience was becoming a glaring problem. Syryn was only now starting to realise that it wasn't enough to just fall for each other. They still had to make an effort to steer the newly birthed relationship out of troubled waters.

"Ro, would you still love me if I ceased to be me?" He asked the anti mage.

"You'll have to explain what you mean by that, Ryn."

"Nevermind it," Syryn replied. He wanted to think more deeply upon the leash that was tightening around his neck. A domestic demon, Red had called him. So what was he now?

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