Chapter 91: What Is A Kiss List?

"Sebastian, are we really getting married next month or?" Syryn let the 'or' dangle with an unspoken threat behind it.

The mage that was being threatened responded by closing his eyes in abject misery. What a headache it was to deal with his upcoming nuptials. Sebastian considered faking a marriage but discarded the plan when he felt Rowan's unfiltered stare shaving off years out of his remaining life span.

"I have a plan. The emperor won't like it but it is what it is."

"What?" Syryn scoffed, "you gonna run away again?"

Sebastian looked offended at Syryn's suggestion that he would run away. "Fer your information, it's called makin' a strategic departure."

"Luci, this is the kind of man you don't want to become," Syryn advised the redhead who was attentively listening. "He's the sort that would deny parentage even if the baby came out with a note bearing his father's name on it."

"Am I supposed ta sit here and listen to you slander me, mister I have a kiss list? Yer not far off from sowin' wild oats yerself if you weren't so homosexual."

"A kiss list?" It was a quietly spoken question from the anti mage; a simple string of words that shouldn't have sounded as menacing as they did. The cry of war horns rang out and Syryn made peace with the decision to bury Sebastian in their garden. He would be the first powerful sacrifice to their corpse tree. Looking a little wild around the eyes, Syryn pasted on a smile for Sebastian and it promised vengeance.

"What? Ya don't have a kiss list?" Sebastian said with a nervous laugh that sounded high pitched.

"No, I don't. Should I have one? Is that what the youngsters are making these days?" Rowan looked at Syryn with raised brows.

"Everyone has a kiss list. It's an instruction manual for the list of different kiss techniques that are currently to known to man," the sandy-haired mage began to explain. "S'ryn, where did ya get yours? I've been lookin' to buy one as well."

"I got mine from Magnus. I have no idea where he bought it from." The alchemist shook his head at the sagely nodding Sebastian. "It's a real tragedy considering I've lost my kiss list." He then turned to Lucien and frowned. "Luci, I saw you wrapping your cherry flavoured candies in a piece of paper last week. Do you remember?"

The redhead nodded. "It wasn't your kiss list though."

"How do you know that? You grabbed a random sheet from my drawer. It was definitely my kiss list. Now Rowan won't get to see it anymore. You should apologise to him for losing my kiss list."

"Yeah, Luci, S'ryn is right. Ya can't just wrap your sweets in weird sheets of paper that ya find in his drawers. Eos knows what Syryn has been puttin' in there. What if ya catch crotch demons?"

"Fuck off Sebastian. If anyone's got crotch demons, it's you. Any suspicious bumps and lesions-"

"I will pull my pants down right here and right now. What about you, S'ryn? Do you have the guts to prove that yer clean?"

Rowan was quietly listening to the idiots bicker. Syryn had a kiss list and he wouldn't have found out about it if it wasn't for his empty-headed companion accidentally leaking it. Rowan could compel the alchemist to surrender the contents of the list but he was inclined to believe that he was trustworthy. It was a bit like walking on a tightrope with nothing but faith pushing him onward. The anti mage felt a twinge of nervousness in his guts but he ignored it. Syryn would not betray him like that.

"Shit, Sebastian. All you had to say was that you're curious about it. My dick is just as pretty as my face."

"You're both the worst kind of role models for me!" An irate Red righteously pointed a finger at Syryn and then at Sebastian. "Magnus was a real responsible adult but he left me and now I'm stuck being blamed for the indiscretions of two high functioning juveniles who have never heard of shame in their lives. Rowan, are you a babysitter? A nanny? Or their mother? Because all I see in front of me are two man-children threatening to expose themselves just to prove that they aren't filthy diseased man whores! Shut the fuck up if you don't want to see me jump out of a moving carriage because the prospect of being crushed bloody under the wheels of our ride is infinitely more tolerable to the sight of you two making fools out of yourselves. Do you need to suck on your mother's tits? Should I fetch a wet nurse? Fuck you and you!"

The anti mage was stunned by Lucien's outburst. He could see that the redhead wasn't done yet.

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"Now we're all going to stay real quiet and peacefully ride the rest of the way to Rum district so that I can close my eyes and pretend my life is still going great. Do we have an understanding?"

"I am a teenager," Syryn smugly informed them. "We're annoying at this age. Sebastian though can speak for himself because he's an adult man arguing with me, a teenager."

Rowan asked himself how he had fallen for Syryn. Was he so shallow? So ensnared by a pretty face? No that wasn't right. He had seen several beauties before Syryn.

"No Syryn Nigh'hart, you're worse than that," Red glared at him. "You're like one of those stunted plants that Alka keeps trimming so they remain small and thick." The redhead tapped his temple as he spoke. "They're beautiful when they bloom but require more attention than a spoilt pillow princess. I will never understand why Alka is fond of such useless things. At least you're good for sucking dick since that's what you were pantomiming for Rowan."

An embarrassed clearing of the throat came from the anti mage's corner of the carriage. He was desperate to leave the carriage. No 12 year old should have been saying those words to anyone. Rowan knew better than to patronise the redhead since he had made it very clear that he could defend himself.

"Lucien, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Syryn snapped at the redhead. "You'd be dead three times over by now if you were someone else."

"Do you ever listen to yourself talk, Syryn?" Red asked while leaning his head against the seat. The upheaval that Magnus had caused was still a deep hole that Red was trying to fill.

"I do. And I dont care about the consequences of it. Suck it up Lucien because I'm the big brother." Syryn began counting on his fingers, "I feed you, clothe you, shelter you, make travel plans for you, heck I save your life when you're acting like a little shit. Remember Zelli? Should've left you to suffocate under her enormous boobs. And let's not forget the time I jumped down a cliff for you. What have you done for me, Lucien?" Syryn was going to milk the cliff incident for all it was worth.

"Not killing you when I had the chance to. Can we start there?" Red bit back. "I'm your responsibility, smartass! You're not doing me a favour. You took me in, adopted me, and you're surprised that it comes with duties and responsibilities?"

"Don't you just hate it when the twelve-year-old makes more sense than the purported sixteen-year-old responsible brother?" Sebastian added his contribution to the conversation. "But stop for a minute and explain to me how you had the chance to kill Syryn. And why would you even have such a morbid thought?"

Red sealed his lips. It was Syryn's problem now. He wanted to play big brother so there, be the big brother and cover for him.

"Family secrets," Syryn replied. "Are we there yet?"

Rowan sighed because it was finally over. Rum district was already in view.

"You guys are a really strange group. Especially you two," Sebastian eyed the brothers suspiciously. "I'll find out one day so guard your secrets while you can."

Sebastian's skin erupted in goosebumps when two pairs of eyes turned to him. The mage had once come across a pond in the desert. A diamond tailed sand viper was coiled under a thick layer of sand. The creature had been waiting to ambush a prey unlucky enough to drink near the viper's hiding spot. The way it had watched Sebastian reminded him of the feeling that the brothers gave him. And just as soon as it came, it was gone. Syryn was smirking while Lucien disinterestedly turned away.

"Sebastian, what's the plan?" Rowan asked the pensive mage.

"Do your thing, Rowan. Spread your field out as thin as you can and see if anything weird turns up."

Syryn felt the anti mage's power blanket him like a mist. There was almost no suppression from it. Rowan's ability to manipulate it exceeded what the alchemist had expected of him.

"How long is it going to take?" Red asked. He was paying attention now that the discomfort of an anti mage's suppression was washing over him. Its intensity was almost negligible but mages were conditioned to go on alert when they felt an anti mage's field.

"Something is resisting me," Rowan informed the others. "I think we've found your squid."

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