Chapter 385: Chapter 381: The pain of care.

Yao Jun stood amidst the burning black flames, the lower portion of his body reforming as a heavy breath slipped out between his lips. He had already ceased being human, now he was nothing more than a living galaxy, a universe that moulded itself a human body it could use. But his opponent had no way of knowing that so she would never have expected that his lower body would just vanish like that when she tried to attack him.

"Sorry for making you fight while you're still so young."

He disregarded the carnage around and spoke softly to the small black serpent that appeared on his shoulder with a puff of dark smoke. He still held the glaive so he leaned his cheek against the snake, using his free hand to stroke the vines that slithered up his legs, extending the sentiment to the blooming flower.

Both Ba-Shei and Yama were still very young, especially for Origin Beasts, bringing them out to fight against a Godking was very risky since there was no telling what might happen to them. But Yao Jun was desperate, he had to finish things quickly so that he could figure out why one thread of faith had vanished.

Something that looked like a drop of dew moved across the vines that reached for Yao Jun's head, offering it up to his mouth. This dewdrop was condensed energy, it was part of the tremendous amount of energy that Yama had gathered from the soldiers that died, from the very planet itself. But Yao Jun shook his head and rejected it, turning his gaze towards the remaining enemy.

"Leave it for later, I will need every drop to crack open the gate."

The amount of energy it took to crack open the first fragment of his God Gate was beyond anything Yao Jun had ever experienced. Not only did it require his own energy, the wine Chang Yun had given him, and all the energy of Ba-Shei's existence, but it also took the Evolution Heart of a Demonic Beast that had stepped past the Godking realm. And that had been the smallest fragment he had, now he needed to crack open an even bigger one. He had to prepare as much energy as possible.

Yama had managed to scrounge up a bit of the blood that Song Yau shed before Yao Jun killed her, she was a Godking of the Sebettu race so her blood would definitely contain a lot of energy. But the way she died made it so that they couldn't gather up all the energy within her body. So he had cast his gaze towards the second Godking that Sirius and Zhuan Yi were fighting, he would have to settle with one for now.

He clutched his glaive and gathered his strength to join the fray, but the other battle was basically already over by the time he turned his gaze. The brown-haired man she was fighting with support from Sirius was a Godking, but wasn't Zhuan Yi the same? And he was a human, but she was a Demonic beast, one that came from an extremely rare race no less. Yao Jun had never truly fought Zhuan Yi, but she was strong, very strong, she put that on display right now.

The right half of her body morphed into a large hammer that smashed into the crimson spears that the man's arms had turned into, pushing him back as he was forced to block. But just as he finished blocking the attack and pushed back the hammer, its shape changed again as it became a spear that stabbed forward. The man dodged, but the spear left a small cut on his neck, and that wound spelt his end.

The organic spear morphed again, practically becoming liquid as it dove into the small wound it had created. Zhuan Yi's entire body quickly followed, liquefying as followed the spear into the wound. The man tried to block it and prevent her from meeting up with the spear she had become, but Sirius quickly followed up with several defensive shields using his Supreme Law of Defence. He blocked the attack, but he also felt a bit mortified that this was the best he could do in a battle between Godkings, a few piddly shields.

Zhuan Yi's entire body practically melted into the man thanks to Sirius blocking his defence, the man's body bubbling like a bloated swamp. He had the ability to turn himself into blood so it seemed like Zhuan Yi had come up with a more unconventional way to deliver a fatal blow. And indeed she had, the man's bubbling body starting to hiss as it darkened.

He struggled and moved about as if he was in pain, but no sound escaped his lips. He tried to turn himself into blood, but as his arm changed it simply fell to the ground as a gelatinous substance. More and more of his body changed, perhaps out of his control at this point, but every part of him that became blood simply fell to the ground in a gelatinous mess.

Slowly but surely the man disappeared from the world, in the end, the only thing that remained was a gelatinous mess of brownish-red blood. And from that mess rose an amber-brown liquid that smelled somewhat fishy, the liquid quickly taking on a humanoid form as Zhuan Yi appeared again, her short white hair untainted by the mess around her. Her dark silver eyes slid towards Yao Jun and rose up slightly, it was as if she wanted to say 'this is how strong I really am, this is what I am capable of.'

The two battles were short, deceptively so, that was just how battles between the strong were. But the end result was devastating, cataclysmic even. The two armies that had occupied the planet were all dead, life had been erased from this planet, be it through Yao Jun's attacks or Song Yau's attacks. But if that was it then it could be called a small loss, life would eventually flourish here again.

But because Yama had appeared here, not even that would be possible. He was a devastating plant, one that was born through bloodshed and survived on drinking it, those were his origins. And Yao Jun had strengthened him again and again, evolved him beyond anything Yama originally thought possibly. Now he was a catastrophe that could devour Qi and lifeforce alike, him blooming on this planet meant that he had drained all the energy within it. All that remained for this planet was to slowly crumble and turn to dust that would drift through the vast emptiness of space.

"My Lord, what news did you receive!?"

Sirius put aside Yang Long and Lin Ren, the only people left alive on this planet other than Yao Jun's group, and quickly headed over to him. The fact that he had fought like that towards the second half meant that something was terribly wrong, something had made his desperation act up.

"Something happened in one of the fragments, a thread of faith disappeared so there's a good chance something happened to one of the others."

Yao Jun didn't beat around the bush, his expression solemn as he put away his glaive. Yama collected the gelatinous mess that the last Godking had become, officially draining every last bit of energy this planet had to offer. He ignored Lin Ren and Yang Long for the moment, the current situation took precedence, he could just talk with and apologize to Yang Long later.

"We're heading to Arthurius, he definitely has a list of Supreme Law users. Prepare the ship."

Yao Jun did not believe that the energy he currently had on him would be enough to crack that fragment, he needed far more. And what could possibly be better than the Supreme Law fragments, chunks that had fallen away from the God Gates over time? They were parts that originally belonged to the same Origin Heart and were just bursting with energy, taking in those would give him a tremendous boost. Sirius flinched slightly when Yao Jun informed him of the situation, and what he was planning. He hesitated for a short moment, aligning his own thoughts, and then spoke up.

"...Do you have the time for that, My Lord?"

Supreme Law users, some of them would be weak and some would be strong. But he knew that Yao Jun wouldn't go for just any Supreme Law users, he wasn't emotionless after all. He would go for the Supreme Law users tied to the enemy organizations, the ones that would be protected more now than ever before. It would take time, especially when it came to hunting the stronger ones. Compared to that, he actually knew a much faster way, but perhaps it was a much more painful way as well.

"... I don't have a choice, I'll just need to rush it."

Yao Jun knew. How long would it take to hunt the Supreme Law users? What about the ones that had already become Godkings? It would take time and it would be dangerous. What would happen during that time, what would become of that lost thread of faith? He didn't know, which was why he had no choice but to rush it.

"But you do, My Lord. You do have a choice, don't you?"

There was a faint curve to Sirius' lips as he spoke with certainty, conviction. Yao Jun only needed to look at that small smile once to understand what Sirius was getting at, immediately rejecting him.

"No. I already said so, no."

Sirius had two Supreme Law fragments in him, fragments he had already offered to return to Yao Jun when they noticed that his universe resonated with them. Two Supreme Law fragments and all the energy of a powerful Divine Beast, if these things were added together with all the energy Yama had gathered then it would definitely be enough to crack open one of the fragments.

Zhuan Yi had gotten a bit closer now, but she didn't intrude on the conversation, just listening curiously instead. As for Yang Long and Lin Ren, they maintained their distance for now, this wasn't the time for them to get anywhere close to Yao Jun. Sirius wasn't perturbed by Yao Jun's refusal, asking a seemingly unrelated question instead.

"Did you apologize to them, My Lord?"

Sirius was the third of Yao Jun's beast companions, he was one of those who could be said to know Yao Jun the best. So he knew what Yao Jun was likely to do after being forced to use Ba-Shei and Yama due to his desperation. He looked at his two companions, brothers who came after him, brothers who got to do more than him.

"After you made my two brothers fight, did you apologize to them for bringing them out?"

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Yao Jun had been wary of using his beasts even when they were strong, the quality of his enemies was always a step above both himself and his beasts so they could easily get hurt. And whenever they got hurt, he would feel bad, they were his treasured companions after all. But to his companions, things were completely different.

"Were they angry, My Lord? Were they sad that they had to fight, angry that you had brought them out?"

Sirius slowly drove home the point, slowly vented some of the grievances that were bound to accumulate with time. He posed his statement as a question, but he knew the answer, everyone present could see the answer.

"Look, they're smiling. They're happy, My Lord. We live, we fight, we die, all for you. When you order us, we are happy, when you ignore us, we cry. We would never feel bad about being useful, My Lord, it is our greatest joy."

Ba-Shei's smile was obvious, and while it was a bit harder with Yama, the wriggling of his vines made his stance clear. They were happy. Yao Jun had picked up a mutated snake and given it a home, brought it to heights beyond anything its meagre mind could imagine. And then there was that small flower that had bloomed from the pooled blood that came from the corpses Yao Jun threw into his God Gate, the lifeform that only existed thanks to Yao Jun. They lived because of him, they lived for him.

Yao Jun's mouth felt sour when he looked at how happy Ba-Shei and Yama were, he could feel their joy more strongly than anyone else. He opened his mouth to reject it again, but Sirius cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"I said n..."
"Do you care for us, My Lord?"

Sirius rarely ever cut off Yao Jun, he was always extremely respectful. But right now he was determined to drive Yao Jun into a corner, he would force him to face the truth, force him to act. Otherwise, he was afraid that Yao Jun might end up regretting it forever in the future, he may end up wounding himself eternally if he hesitated here. And that, above everything else, was something Sirius wanted to avoid.

"Pointless question, I know. It is precisely because you care for us that you try to keep us safe, away from danger and harm's way. But, My Lord, how do you think that feels for us?"

Yes, it really was a pointless question. Yao Jun had a very small heart, but perhaps because it was so small, everything that fit into it was kept closer than anything else. Safe, warm, secluded, lonely. He kept them safe in that small heart of his, and they could do nothing but watch.

Yao Jun was bitter, he really was. He knew, for each one who cared about others, there was someone who cared about them. But when you lived a life like theirs, both sides would rarely get things the way they wanted, someone had to get hurt, even if it wounded the other one.

"We watch you fight, we watch you get hurt. We watch you bleed and we watch you cry, and there's nothing we can do about it. You cried when Little Thunder died? We cry every time you fight and bleed, we cry every time you move out alone because you want to protect us. You care for us so dearly, My Lord, and because of that, you wound us so deeply. Think about it from our view, how did you feel when Mistress Luo left you to take part in the Dreamland Convergence?"

Sirius dug into Yao Jun's wounds, stabbed into the scars he bore. Only like that would he be able to pierce his hide, only like that would he be able to reach that small heart that held them oh so close. He knew that it had hurt him, that it made him worried, but Yao Jun had still let Guo Luo go, the two separating temporarily to hone their own strengths.

It was the most sensible thing to do, but it had hurt him greatly because he couldn't be there to protect her. He had been uncertain and worried, almost panicked. How many times had he thought about just calling it off and following her? But he didn't, he held himself back, contained his care. And the reason for it was simple.

"Being cared for is painful, just as careful as it is to care for others. But we are not weak, My Lord, we are strong because we have learned from you. You gave in to Mistress Luo, you trusted her and chose to support her wish, so can't you do the same for us?"

Guo Luo was strong, stronger than she looked. So he trusted her, the strength she had cultivated, the determination that drove her wish and ambition. It was painful, but he still did it, he took that first step to open up that small heart of his.

"...But there's no guarantee..."

Yao Jun wanted to refute him, wanted to reject him. But his mouth felt dry and bitter, he really didn't have anything he could say to Sirius. He knew that they were strong, they had followed him and they had grown, they were worthy of trust. But how could he not hesitate? There was no telling what may happen, there was no telling what could go wrong. But Sirius saw it completely differently, smiling as he pointed towards Ba-Shei and Yama.

"Of course there is. Are the two of them not safe right now, happy right now? And even if things take a wrong turn since this is the second, are you yourself not the best guarantee? Would you not save me even if something happened, no matter what you had to do?"

Guarantee? He had two examples in front of him, one that had even done the exact same thing he was planning to do now. And above all, there was Yao Jun. Their lord, their god. No matter what happened, he would save them, he would bring them back, that was the greatest guarantee in existence.

"Of course I would."

There wasn't an ounce of hesitation in Yao Jun's tone. They were his companions and he would do everything he could to bring them back. Even if they died, even if they left this universe, he would do everything to bring them back to his side, because his heart was so small that it had to clutch them tightly. Sirius smiled brightly at that determined response, he truly felt happy about the god he had chosen.

"Exactly. So won't you let me do the same for my brothers and sisters, for My Lord? Trust me, My Lord, just like I trust you. Even if it hurts, even if you hesitate, trust me. And then ask me, order me."

His gaze was sincere and earnest, gentler and warmer than anything Yao Jun thought himself capable of. They considered themselves lucky for the god they had chosen, but he just considered himself lucky because of the companions he had acquired. He knew himself well, he was a hollow person, he was different from others in how he acted and thought.

It was only through his companions, only with them, that he could become something closer to normal, only through them could he avoid becoming completely empty. So he looked at Sirius, locked eyes with him as he stared straight into his soul. He hesitated slightly, drawing in some sharp breaths. But then he spoke, he made a promise.

"... I promise you, the next one will be better. I will let you see stars more resplendent than you could ever dream of, reach heights with me greater than anything we ever imagined."

They called him their god, but he never acted on that, never made good on their belief. But at this point, how could he ignore it any longer? The current him wasn't worthy of being called a god, he was barely even a man. But he would make good on that trust, that faith, he would rise to a spot where he would be worthy of it, that was the least he could do for those he held in his small heart. Sirius's smile brightened even further and he started to lower his head, but his voice was quickly cut off by Yao Jun.

"I know, I always have. Than..."
"Don't thank me. Don't you ever dare thank me for something like this, I won't allow it."

Yao Jun's arms wrapped around Sirius' neck as he cut him off, pulling him close as he embraced him. Sirius was held close to Yao Jun's chest so he couldn't see his lord's expression, but he could hear his voice. There was a slight tremble to it, a bitter and sour tone. But it was still determined.

"Sirius..."

Yao Jun looked at his companion after he ended the hug, biting down on his lips for a few moments. He couldn't handle the smile, the bright smile that showed that he wouldn't hesitate in the slightest. He did not deserve them, perhaps no one in the world did. But one day he would, one day he would be worthy of them. So determined, so he swore. And so he asked.

"Please give me this life."
"With pleasure, My Lord."

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