Chapter 38: 37

“Well, then, please only take care of us this winter, Priestess.”

 

“You don’t have to worry about it. Aren’t you a believer of the Goddess too? Fortunately, there is a separate building left in the temple, so please stay there this winter. It’s a long time ago, but it’s a place where homeless priestesses used to live, so it won’t be hard to stay.”

 

When Herace said she would stay in the temple, Dianna ordered Yulina to bring Anna. Thanks to this, Anna, who was waiting for Herace and Erzen, had to pack without notice.

 

Yulina headed to the temple with Anna and told her what Herace and Erzen had suffered. How long does she have to suffer like this? For Anna, who remembered Herace’s maiden life, which was peaceful, the life of her Lady was now so pitiful.

 

Anna sighed deeply, thinking of Herace in the room with a haggard face. Then Yulina also said with a worried face.

 

“There will be Priestess Dianna, but you still have to be careful for the time being.”

 

“I don’t think they will try to do anything in the temple. And I heard that the Lord here is quite faithful…….”

 

“If you think of the faithful Count, he will not dare to invade the temple and cause a disturbance. But just in case. That William is a little, no, quite famous for his lustful behaviour. I didn’t think it was such a major matter because he came back to the territory after the incident in the capital, but it turned out that he did such a cruel thing…… Goddess.”

 

Yulina shuddered at the thought of William’s sin she had just heard. To be born as a human in the world that the Goddess looks after and doing something as bad as an animal. It was an unimaginable sin to her.

 

“What would the deceased husband of the believer of Herace think if he knew this situation? If he was alive, she wouldn’t have been suffering.”

 

Anna stiffened her face for a moment at the mention of Herace’s ‘late’ husband. People here knew that Herace lost her husband, who was a knight, to a war and was raising her son alone. But in reality……. Anna recalled the beautiful man with cool silver hair and cold gold eyes.

 

‘What if the Duke learns of this?’

 

For Anna, Ezekiel was like an insurmountable fear after the day she was almost kicked out with her tongue cut off. That was why she didn’t think or say anything about the previous owner after leaving the castle.

 

Herace was also extremely reluctant to talk about her husband, whom she had fled from. So for more than three years, they only occasionally spoke of the North, but closed their mouths when it came to Ezekiel, the owner of the place.

 

“…… Yes, because my Master was a valiant knight. He probably wouldn’t let it go.”

 

Yulina, who didn’t notice Anna’s displeased tone, suddenly remembered something and held Anna’s hand tightly. Anna stared at Yulina blankly at her sudden action.

 

“By the way, Anna is amazing, too. In fact, it won’t be easy to follow Lady Herace just by loyalty.”

 

“It’s a matter of course. I’ve been with Lady since I was a kid. Besides, she’s my benefactor who saved my life.”

 

“Oh… Come to think of it, Lady Herace said she was of noble origin. Then why don’t you go back to the family? If she lost her husband, she can still go back to her maiden family. It’s safer there…….”

 

Why are there so many sharp questions now? Anna replied with a forced calm expression, paying close attention to her expression and words in case she made a mistake.

 

“Even if she was an aristocrat, it was a family that had only a name. Besides, both of Lady’s parents died early……. And she doesn’t have any brothers.”

 

“There was such a situation.”

 

Yulina nodded sadly and looked out the window and stood up in a hurry. As they talked, they didn’t even realise that time had passed this much. She beckoned Anna to stand up after her and picked up the outer garment she had put on the chair.

 

“Oh, no. It’s already this late. I’ll be on my way now. I’m on duty to pray tonight.”

 

“Hurry and go. Don’t worry about this place.”

 

“It’s late at night, so take a good rest. Take good care of Lady Herace. I’ll come early tomorrow and help you unpack.”

 

“Yes, thank you, Priestess.”

 

Anna saw Yulina off with a smile and stood up with a sigh as soon as she disappeared outside. Then she knocked on the door, which was firmly closed, and went in quietly.

 

Erzen was lying on the bed in the narrow dark room. There seemed to be no abnormality in the way he slept while exhaling. However, the Lady’s face sitting by the bedside next to the child was very worn out and looked precarious as if she was about to collapse.

 

Anna opened her mouth as she looked at Herace’s pale face under the candle.

 

“Miss.”

 

“…….”

 

“Priestess Yulina just left.”

 

Herace nodded silently. Anna approached Herace and tried to ask if she was okay, but she looked at her face and stopped.

 

“Lady, go to sleep now. You can’t get up late because we have to clean and organise our luggage tomorrow.”

 

Instead, Anna deliberately said tomorrow’s schedule energetically. But Herace still nodded and didn’t open her mouth. Anna sat quietly next to the Lady’s gloomy expression in the candlelight.

 

“…… Anna, was my choice incorrect?”

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The candle melted quickly and drew a shadow that fluctuate regularly. Herace spoke only after the candle had disappeared halfway. With her hands off Erzen, she just stared at her son. Her hands, as pale as her face, started shaking and were almost convulsing.

 

“Maybe I made Erzen go through this because I couldn’t stand it.”

 

Through what happened today, Herace realised again how weak she was. She thought she had become stronger in her own way over the past few years, but it was her own illusion. The mother couldn’t do anything when the child was being treated so carelessly. Just howling and begging. She was helpless even when the man’s muddy shoes stepped on the child.

 

‘I’m still….’

 

She got through it well. What she thought was her toughness was nothing but all luck. How was it today? If the priestess hadn’t saved her, she didn’t know what she would do after being taken away by a man, let alone embracing a child who was scared.

 

“If I had endured…… Have I found a better way? Erzen might have been well and safe in the Duke’s house by now. I wouldn’t have been treated so carelessly.”

 

She was at a loss when the confidence that had gathered for a week disappeared like a virtual image. How will I protect my child in the future and how do I protect myself? Herace felt hopeless as she wandered in the darkness, where she couldn’t see an inch ahead.

 

“I, Ezekiel…….”

 

A name that she hadn’t tried to say for the past years suddenly popped out. At the same time, tears burst out. After talking, the face of the man was clearly drawn in front of her.

 

“I love you, Herace.”

 

She had erased all the memory, but there were times when she missed his arms. When it was unbearable like today, she remembered him, who was strong and warm in the past. Even though it was only about three years ago, the days when she couldn’t sleep were quite clear.

 

But how would remembering him help her? Those were the days that would never come back.

 

With a sad face, Herace stroked Erzen’s cheek again. The slow touch was full of affection, but it was clear sadness that fell from the fingertips. Anna’s eyes were wet watching the scene.

 

“When I decided to leave him, on one hand, I thought it was for Erzen. There were some things that I couldn’t stand, but above all, I made an excuse that the situation would not be good for the child. But now…….”

 

There was an indescribable sense of guilt in the trembling voice. Herace’s hand fell off Erzen’s cheek and was lifted weakly as it headed toward her round forehead.

 

“……it’s literally just an excuse. I just ran away because I had a hard time.”

 

“Miss…”

 

Anna, who couldn’t wait, called for Herace. However, Herace, who was in a sense of shame, continued.

 

“……at least I shouldn’t have put Erzen’s name on my ego.”

 

Herace hated herself for being weak. She felt pathetic when she burst into tears in front of Anna, who was with her until this day because she couldn’t keep a child well.

 

She quietly swallowed her tears with her face buried in her hands. The sound of suppressing the sobs for fear of waking the child went over her neck and brought tremors all over her body. Anna put her hand still on Herace’s back.

 

“Cry as you please, Miss.”

 

How hard it must have been so far. After leaving Serpence Castle, Herace refused to show a difficult look, but Anna knew she was struggling.

 

She was a girl who grew up like a flower in a greenhouse for almost all her life. At the time of Devone’s destruction, she suffered, but it was also a short time. There were terrible rumours around the castle, but since she had a status as a duchess, she didn’t need to worry about meals or sleeping.

 

But after leaving the castle, Herace had to worry about everything. She had to endure an uncomfortable bed, and she had to embroider to make her soft hands wide for a meal. And that’s not all. Her appearance, which had been praised when she was at the top of the society, became toxic and was bothering Herace.

 

She thought it was worth living for some time before she left the castle.…. But the world wasn’t as easy as she imagined. Especially for women and children. Anna has learned from the last three years how ignorant she was about the world.

 

“This way, you can endure tomorrow and the next day. So cry as much as you want.”

 

Her back was greatly raised by Anna’s kind consideration. She regretted escaping the castle, but what was done was done. Her cry could still be heard when she tried to suppress it in fear of waking the child, but it was not a suppressed cry, unlike a while ago.

 

“Thank you, Anna.”

 

The tears died away after a long time. Herace looked back at Anna with red eyes.

 

“I think I always do things that I will feel sorry for.”

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

Anna’s face was also wet in the meantime. Herace raised her hand and wiped Anna’s tears with her thumb. She felt a little relieved after crying.

 

‘Yes, I have Erzen and Anna. I shouldn’t worry.’

 

Herace closed her eyes and tried to smile beautifully. A stronger voice reached Anna.

 

“Just let’s stop it for today. I won’t be like this from tomorrow. As you said, I have to clean and unpack. And I also have to finish my work.” 

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