Chapter 1: A New Start

My life had lost its meaning. 

Or maybe it didn’t even have one to begin with. Because If there was, my mother would have seen to it.

My monster of a mother.

Well… Calling her mother is a bit of a lie, I suppose.
Then again, she gave birth to me, so I’ll give her that.
But she was such a huge bitch.

“Mother. If I had to learn to fight against a swordsman. Is hiring a paladin necessary?”
“Of course. How else would your broken bones be healed?”

I sighed. She’s not a bitch, definitely a monster.
“The fact that he needs to heal broken bones isn’t enough of a reason?”
“Obviously, that is the norm when training for such.”
She ignored me completely and dismissed the thought with a wave.
“Mother, I’m sixteen. I don’t believe my body is supposed to suffer such damage.”
“You’re sixteen?”

She looked at me with genuine confusion.
God… This woman doesn’t even know my age.
“Huh… Time flies past when you're busy. I thought you were twelve.”
“So, you wanted me to learn swordsmanship… when I’m twelve, yet you forgot my age?”
“Yes, pretty unfortunate. An early head start would have done you good.”
“Yes… How unfortunate.”

I do not know whether I should be delighted or not.
But I shall take this fortune. As sad as it sounds.
She then smiled, remembering something. Taking out a letter under her drawers.

“Oh silly me, I almost forgot. Your father has sent you a present.”
“He remembered me? That’s shocking.”
“Yes, take it as a good sign of warming relations.”
“So, I can take his inheritance?”
“Obviously. What else would you need it for?”
“Familial relations? Maybe a father figure? Or you know, family?”
“That sounds unnecessary.”
“Of course it is.” I rolled my eyes at her.

Having kids should be held sacred.
Something this woman clearly didn’t. 

When I was a kid, I wondered what went through her head that she even had me. But with an earldom on my father’s line, it isn’t all that shocking.
The clear lack of affection towards me or to that of my father was obvious.
She never really bothered hiding her ambition for his wealth.
Really, a child was something to be cherished.
Not another piece in ridiculous political schemes and grandiose ambitions.
No child should live, never once having a family, only made to live for another.
And as a child born in such a situation, I could tell you, I hated them both with a passion.
For pushing me into this miserable existence.

She ignored my remark completely, taking a book out.
“He seems to have sent you some books with regards to your birthday.”
“My birthday is two months ago.”
“Then this is for your birthday, ten months from now. Use it well.”

I took it from her hand… And it was another book about the Angelical Faith.
I sighed at the clear intent hidden behind his supposed gift.
“Is there anything else? I believe my tutors have arrived.”
“Oh, in regards to that, quite a lot actually.”

She takes out a stack of documents and ledgers. Each one filled to the brim with accounts held by the Viscounty of Striggs.
“Your expenses these past few years have been abnormal.”
“Well… yes, the tutors you bought for me are expensive. They’ve been taking me on your approved extensive trips. More than once, I might add.”
“That doesn’t justify spending ten thousand Aurins just this year.”
“It does, actually.”
“How exactly? A tutor or two taking you to trips shouldn’t-“

I coughed in my hand, interrupting her questioning. “A tutor or two? Mother. Do you even know how many tutors it is that you bought for me?”
She looked at me and stared, searching her mind for an answer.
“I don’t believe I remember.”
“You bought me ten tutors. Adding one for every consequent year.”
“Huh… I suppose that does explain it. But why would I do such a thing and not remember?”

I squeezed the bridge of my nose. This incorrigible woman.
“When I reached the young age of six. You sent me a tutor. That tutor then continued to extoll my supposed brilliance, one which you took advantage of.”
“I remember such, you were quite adept at your histories and philosophies.”
“Yes, every consequent tutor thought as such, so you did the same and hired another. Then with every tutor came another. You continued to approve those trips that brought me to every edge of Aurica. Never once taking a rest.”
“I see. It must have been quite the trip then. How come I’ve never noticed?”
My eyes locked with hers, my expression neutral. My hand wants to wring her neck.
“You just didn’t care enough to notice.”

She furrowed her brows in consternation before nodding.
“Yes, I suppose you’re right.”
“Great! Can I leave?”
She then looked closely at the ledgers, ignoring me altogether.
“Can you tell me how far your lessons have progressed? I need to understand the cost and benefit of such trips before I could let you go.”

I sighed. Any time spent with this woman. Is a time spent hating my life.
“My teacher in economics was a merchant. She left me in the streets of the Imperial Capital. Made me start a business as a vendor, till I made enough money to come home. The man you sent to teach me the art of war kicked me into a battle for a territorial dispute. Then, for maritime trade and sailing, you gave me to a pirate who forced me to sail and fight through the eastern sea, privateering Northern trade routes. Then, for my lesson in Imperial politics, you sent me to an Imperial official who made me go through his meetings and paperwork.” I was prepared to tell her everything.

She held up her hand. “That’s enough. You have proved to me their worth.”
“No. I was proving to you their danger by telling you, they're just using me.”
“Really? So you learned nothing in your stay?”
“That’s besides the point. It is-” She then cuts me off.
“Irrelevant. As long as you learned actual skills, anything else is unnecessary.”

“Fine.” I grit out, I should have known. “So, can I go?”
“Of course, but first, tell me what should be your lesson for today?”
“Poisons and assassination, we are at the latter stages of -.”
“That sounds good. You may leave.”

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I rolled my eyes as I stood up. Closing the door behind me, unaware that it was the last I’ll ever see of her.

Alive, at least.

 

The funeral preparations took a day.
In a day, servants around the mansion prepared a hall for guests.
They did it with ease. Her death was something she foresaw and prepared for.
Even in her death, she wanted to be a woman of great renown.
And with my mother’s curated reputation, the people packed the hall like fish.
It felt like hours as I stood around thanking their attendance, taking in their condolences.
Unfortunately, such time must end when it was my turn to stand at her coffin.

I walked with trepidation before I stared down at her for the last time.
If there was anything, I could have thanked my mother. It was her beauty.
Her golden curls, her red enchanting eyes. The woman made for an immaculate sight incomparable to anything around her.
And now, here, when she’s laid to rest. Did I see it.
I see the woman I called mother. The monster that brought me to this world.
The woman that I hated, and she’s dead. And it felt devastating.

I don’t know why.

It was mind-boggling to me.

The woman I’ve dreamed of killing is dead, and I can't even be happy.
Maybe some small part of me wished to have her act as a mother.
And that part mourned for her. The world be a bit more different.

“It is a shame.” A voice interrupted my thoughts.
With a fake smile, I turned it and saw a man.
It was a man whose smile held so much greed I could almost smell it.
Like a shark that smelled blood. He shook my hand.
“Viscount Damian. I wish to give you my condolences.” 
“Sir John. Thank you.”
“Don’t think of it. It’s the least I could do.”
“Of course, she’d be delighted to hear that from you.”

He then looked down at her coffin.
“She seems so peaceful. How did she die?”
“Our head physician reported heart failure.”
“I see. That’s a shame. She seemed quite healthy.”
“She was.” Some shit she pulled got her killed.  

The man nodded along beside me.
“She was too good for this world. It is unfortunate.”
“Thank you.” My eyes roamed my surroundings, seeing the hundreds of visitors paying their respects. “I’m glad many thought the same.”
“News spreads fast. We cannot ignore the death of such a valued member of our city. With her gone, some things just cannot remain the same.”
“Hmm… Quite.”

It felt like hours as the man stood beside me, awkwardly waiting.
Ha! I knew what he wanted to ask and understood what he came here for.
With the richest woman under his administration gone, he needs reassurance.
Or a bribe. How comforting that some things remain the same. 

“You know, your mother has always been a good friend of mine.”
I nodded. “Can’t these things wait?”
John smirked. “Yes, they cannot. I apologize, if it’s any consolation.”
“It isn’t. But if you really wish to go through with this, I can at least assure you ‌I have no plans to change any of my mother’s arrangements with you.”
He chuckled, “That’s a relief. Though I think I have something more in mind.” 

I gave him a side eyed glance as I moved off the coffin; the man following me.
“Do not overstep your boundaries, Sir John.”
“I believe I know my boundaries enough, Young Damian.”
Didn’t even bother using my title this time, huh? “It’s Viscount Damian.”
“Is it? House Striggs has been ‌relaxed as of late. I would think this is a good time for a renegotiation.”
“I’m sure. Would you like to talk somewhere else?”
“No. I believe it is a warranted-.”
I ignored his words and walked away.

It took a while before I sat down by the bench, waiting for the man.
“Young Damian. That was a bit rude, you know your mother gave me a modicum-”
“Sit down, Sir John.” I gestured towards my side.
He sat, his tone irritated. “If you have no plans on showing me respect. I could.”
“Do you have a mistress, John?”

He sputtered before recollecting himself, eyes filled with rage as he bit back.
“That threat wouldn't work on me. My reputation is no concern to me.”
“Is that so? Do you know how she is then? What is she doing right now?”
“Why would I care about some whore? I don’t-”
“She’s dead.” 

John froze beside me. Whether because of the chilly morning or the supposed death of his mistress, I do not care.
“That’s… Highly unnecessary, isn’t it?”
“You know, there are a lot of witnesses seeing you together. You didn’t even bother hiding her at all, did you? Pretty ballsy, I suppose.”
“That’s… you can’t prove anything.”
“I do not need to. As you say, you already have a reputation as a womanizer.”
I chuckled, “I wonder if a reputation as a murderer would fit you better.”
“I-I could have you investigated for this. You’ll be branded as a murderer.”
“Who would? The young man that lost his mother would kill someone?”
I whispered in his ear, “No one would believe you.”

The man shivered, his face looked terrified.
“I’ll do it! Let’s continue with our former agree-”
“No, we’ll renegotiate. Isn’t that what you want?”
He swallowed thickly before bowing his head. “Of course, Milord.”
I stood up as I gave him a glance. “Good. Don’t insult me again.”

That felt… exhilarating.

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