Chapter 66: Dealing with inner demons

Givontair: 

My hands are still shaking. No matter what I tell myself, it seems that I am still not ready to do what I must. Ajax never cared about me. How could he? When I am meant to be his death? Yet, until the battle we had yesterday, he has never so much as hit me. 

That is not to say, he minces his words around me. Ajax is many things, but a good father is not one of them. I remember some of my older half-siblings. They all had a thing or two to say about our absent father. Mostly, that he is a piece of work, who suspected them all as being the child that was fated to kill him. 

The question then is, if Ajax fears his death so much, why doesn't he act? Does he, deep down, care for us? Does he love us, as a father should? I shake my head. That makes Nathaniel look at me. I still feel guilty, about leaving him on the staircase. To my shame, I didn't go back for him, until he was already halfway through. 

"You have to tell me if you are up to the task," I don't need for him to tell me what the task is. Ajax is not Sorix. He has killed, and burned his way through the world. 

"Let us not speak about this," I tell him. His face becomes grim. 

"No, we must talk about it," he says. I shift his weight in my arms so that he can be more comfortable. The streets are just as deserted, as when the battle with Ajax began. Yet, I can see the destruction my father left behind. No fires are burning, but I can see dwarves standing by the ruined houses. I don't kid myself. People died tonight. 

"Take a good look around you," Nathaniel says, his tone as sharp as new steel. I refuse to do as he asks. One look at the destruction is enough. "Givontair, snap out of it!" 

"If it was your father we were hunting, would you have accepted to be the one who deals the finishing blow?" I hiss at Nathaniel. He doesn't seem to care about my indignation. 

"If my father, who was just a potter, suddenly made pots laced with poison, I would have given him over to the guards. Your father can't be held in a prison cell, Giv. You have to face the facts!" I just tighten my grip on Nate, and keep on walking towards the inn. I might be still mad at him, for the fact that he keeps on using necromancy. He never promised he'd stop, but he should know the practice is too dangerous for him. Especially now, that the Dread doesn't have a champion. 

"Just tell me where I am supposed to go. I never learned where the inn is," I tell him. He bites his lower lip, and we enter a staring contest. I quirk an eyebrow, at his stubbornness. "What do you want of me? To go and chase after him?" 

"Yes, that would be a nice start," Nate says. I sigh at that. "Look, Giv, you are the only one, besides maybe Sorix, who can bring Ajax down. He was here in Trelia. Have you ever asked yourself, why?" 

"He was here for Sorix," I tell my soulmate. "He wants him dead." 

Nathaniel nods, and doesn't say anything else. He just let's go of my shoulder, and points down the road. He doesn't speak with me, as he points me in the direction of the inn. As I near the big stone building, I see that there are no traces of the fight. After some more finger pointing, I make it to our room. 

Erik is asleep in his bed. I am glad that the fight was too far away to wake him. I deposit Nathaniel on the double bed, and run a mana scan over him. 

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"You have two broken ribs," I tell him, when I am done. 

"Just that?" He tries to smile, but I know his heart is not in it. 

"Just that. I will spend 50,000 mana points, and you will be good as new. We must leave this place," I don't need to tell him, that Ajax can come back with more dragon shifters. Erik can only be safe, if we go to Khuzd. "Still, you should take it easy, even after the treatment." 

Nathaniel takes my hand, and brings it to his lips. I blink at that. 

"I am sorry, for asking you to do this. How about you stay with Erik in Khuzd, and let me handle it?" He asks, as if he is not asking me to simply stand by, as he kills my father. I glare at him. 

"Can't there be another way?" I ask him. If we can spare Sorix, then why not Ajax. He closes his eyes. 

"I can still remember the smell of burning humans. I remember gagging at the smell, so similar to the pork roast mom used to make for Yule. I remember how black everyone turned, from the fire. More than that, I remember the blisters I got, as I dug the graves. Sorix never made anyone feel as if their world is ending. Ajax, on the other hand," I don't argue with him. What he went through, is not something I'd wish on my enemies. 

"I, too, burn people alive," I remind him. If he is going to judge dragons, then he should judge me. He frowns then. 

"For self-defense," he suggests. I shake my head. 

"When I burned the bandits who hurt Erik, I wasn't defending myself," I tell him. He glances at Erik, and then back at me. 

"In the defense of someone else, then?" He asks. I shake my head. 

"You know full well that I have a voice in my head, right? I call it my inner dragon. The only good thing it has to say, is about you. Everyone else, is food for it," I admit. Nathaniel places a hand behind my neck, and pulls me close. 

"Tell that inner dragon, that I will be there to stop it, if you ever go mental," Nate then brings me closer. Just as he is about to kiss, we hear a knock on the door. 

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