Chapter 1: Lord of Shadows

Evander: 

The day everything changed for me, the applause was deafening. All around me, and the other healer trainees, were our families and friends. Proud women and men, who have always believed in us.

 I hold my diploma in my hands, and give them all my brightest smile. The principle gives his boring speech, we are made to stand for a mana shot, and then, finally, we are allowed to go and speak with our families. 

That is the point, when I feel different. Everyone has someone cheering them on during this special day. Everyone, but me. I look around, still having a slight hope, that my father will be in the crowd.

 But he is not here, nor has he come to see me ever since I became a healer trainee. I bow my head, and then try to edge away from the crowd. An arm wraps around my middle, and I am pulled to the side. 

"Evander, where are you going? Say you'll stay for the party?" It is Andre who speaks. I don't know why he clings to me, but he is yet to leave my side. All those long 8 years' worth of training, he has been my closest friend. The elf pulls me towards a group of people. All elves, all smiling with pride in their eyes. 

"Family, meet the Lord of Shadows," Andre introduces me with that silly moniker. I sigh. 

"My name is Evander Shade," I say, correcting Andre. "Not a lord, don't listen to his nonsense." 

"You wouldn't know it from how he holds himself," Andre says. One of the younger elves chuckles at that. 

"Evander, what are your plans for the future?" A woman, who looks like Andre, asks. I bet she is his mother. She has the same brown curls, and button nose, as Andre. 

"I will travel," I tell them. Andre claps me on the back. 

"Evan here wants to be where the trouble is," Andre says, as he pulls me close. I place a hand over his arm, and get it off me. "But I will be happy with a clinic. Something that the Lord of Shadows will find boring, to be sure." 

"What do you want, for you to drop that silly nickname?" I ask my friend. He smiles mischievously at me. 

"Go and ask Sabine out on a date. She has been admiring you from afar for the past 8 years," I groan at that. More than once, I have wondered if I should out myself as gay. Now, more than ever, I don't want to play with other people's feelings. 

"I don't want to bother her," I tell the elf. I hear rushing footsteps. Sabine brushes pass me, and runs off in the direction of the street. I don't spare Andre any more thoughts. Instead, I rush after her. She is very fast, for a nymph.

Sabine is a water nymph, and the best healer in our year, when it comes to treating burns. When I reach her, her blue eyes are puffy from crying. I feel shame then. 

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She doesn't keep on running, when I approach her. I try to give her a reassuring smile, but she simply looks even sadder at that. 

"There is something I have to tell you, but it has to be kept a secret," I don't know why I am doing this. During all these years, I have kept a small friendship going with Sabine. Yet, we are no whereas close as Andre and me. Just why am I ready to out myself to her, when the very thought of the scorn that Andre will show me, keeps me from telling my best friend? "I'm gay." 

Blunt, but to the point. Her eyes widen. 

"You... oh," she says, and I chuckle. Well, at least I was not called a sodomite. I make a couple of steps to her, but her expression changes. "Stay away from me! How could you lead me on like this?" 

"Lead you on? Have I ever so much as asked you on a date?" I watch, as her face turns crimson. Her eyes are practically blazing. 

"People should be warned about you," the words are like a dagger to my heart. If Sabine spreads the word, then I would find it hard, to get employment. I hold up a hand, but she doesn't let me placate her.

 Ice travels up my feet, and binds me in chains. I fall on the hard ground, as she rushes back to the newly minted healers. The sound coming from the plaza is reassuring, for a time. Then, silence reigns from that direction. 

I use mana to gently heat the ice. No one comes to help me. Soon, laughter travels to my ears. I bite my lower lip. Just why did I have to tell her? Just because she was nice, when I hid behind the lie? Finally, I hear footsteps, and turn around. Andre is lingering a little bit away from me. He is looking at me. I can make out his struck expression from my spot on the ground. 

"Andre, help me," I call out to him. He turns around, and leaves. That, more than anything, feels like a stab in my heart. I throw all caution to the wind, and force the ice to break. There is a cut on my leg, because of that. I don't pay it any mind. 

Perhaps a braver man would have gone back to the gathering, and forced the people to see him as a human being. I have never been one to be called brave. My bottomless bag is strapped to my hip, my diploma is in my hands still. 

Not looking back, I limp away from the Academy, which was my home for the last eight years. Just as I make it to the gates, I see it. There, sprayed on the gates, are the words:

Lord of Shadows. 

For the first time, they feel like an insult. I push the gates open, and leave. If I had only kept quiet, if my friends were true to me. So many what ifs, when the reality is something I knew, from the start. 

 

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