The Emperor's Daily Nitpicking

Chapter 26: CH 24


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Oswald let out an “mm” and said, “Come in and say it.”

His voice was slightly husky because of the lack of sleep, but it was still steady and strong, without the slightest nervousness, easily making other people calm. To the extent that Peter would forget that this His Majesty Emperor was a lot younger than himself during these few days of contact.

Of course, Oswald actually felt a little speechless in his heart. He could receive these urgent reports up to eight times a day, and it was hard not to be numb by them.

Sometimes, he even wondered if there was a problem with his life and luck. It wasn’t like the Jinshi Empire had no emperor with nothing to do, and there was even a lot. Presumably, the glory was gone, so they just let it go and didn’t attend to their proper duties, one after the other.

However, nothing happened during the reign of those several emperors who lived in pleasure and muddled through the day. Why did he, who had been assigned this position and had only wielded power a while ago, need to deal with this trouble?

Peter stood near the room’s door and said calmly, “Some Giant Beastman entered our southeast border. Because their flying speed is too fast, they’ve already passed the fourth city walls and arrived at St. Andis.”

Oswald had just taken off his sweat-soaked clothes and was putting on a new one when he heard the words, his movement pausing. “The Giant Beastman at St. Andis? How many of them?”

Peter said with a scowl, “About a hundred, just enough for their small raiding group.”

Oswald: “Have they lost their minds?”

Peter: “…..” How should he answer this?

When the previous Jinshi Empire’s Emperors were in reign, they didn’t have a good relationship with the Giant Beastman. They rejected them as a “barbaric and uncivilised” race, finding them rude and brainless, useless except for their incredible fighting ability.

In fact, not to mention the Jinshi Empire, several Euna clan countries have this idea.

But it was not surprising that those in power think that way. Sitting in that position, even if they didn’t do their jobs and mingled, they wouldn’t like groups that seemed threatening. So, Oswald was probably the only emperor in the Jinshi Empire in the last hundred years who had little ill-feeling toward the Giant Beastman.

First, he never received a warning from the elders during his childhood. Secondly, the cooperation with the Giant Beastman in the Carat River last time wasn’t bad. Moreover, if not because Mac was standing like a mountain at a critical moment, the casualties received by the Wujin Iron Army would increase.

Due to that situation, he didn’t only not feel any malice toward the Giant Beastman but even treated them well.

Of course, his good treatment couldn’t be seen by ordinary people.

Like now when he replied to Peter in a sentence. “It couldn’t be a surprise attack. Those single-minded and naive flying chickens and jumping dogs wouldn’t be able to afford something like a surprise attack that required planning intellectually.

Peter: “…..”

Oswald folded his collar and added, after thinking. “Not necessarily. After all, something like a daylight surprise attack doesn’t look like an intellectual plan. Maybe they really dare to do that.”

Peter: “…..” This mouth of His Majesty!

“Did you stop them?” Oswald asked.

In the past, if another country or another clan’s army had entered the Golden Lion without reason, there would usually have been a fight near the border. Even if the situation were special now, the means of response would not lag too far behind.

Otherwise, if you reported to the emperor at every level, they would have bombed the palace gates when the emperor thought about it, and you received his orders to go back and deal with it.

Peter finally had something to reply, straightening his head a little. “We’ve stopped them. They turned around and landed at the wax woodland north of the city. The archers had surrounded the entire woodland. Now, the two leaders of the Giant Beastman said they wanted to meet Your Majesty.”

Oswald had a plan on his mind. “I knew it. Are they still at the wax woodland?”

Peter: “Yes.”

After all, each of the Giant Beastman had an enormous size. Who would dare to let them into the imperial palace casually? They wouldn’t be able to pull them away if they went mad.

The wax woodland was a strange place on the outskirts of St. Andis because the wax tree would only grow leaves and flowers for a brief moment in late autumn. For the rest of the year, spring, summer and winter, they were as bald as balls. But the branches of this thing were flesh-coloured and could be mistaken for a human arm at first glance, so the whole wax woodland looks especially……creepy.

Except for the wax collecting season, there wouldn’t even be a ghost’s shadow in the woods at the usual time.

There were many places to choose from, but they forcibly landed here. The Giant Beastman’s taste was genuinely unique.

A hundred more Giant Beastman stood and crouched together in the woods. Suddenly, they seemed to be extraordinarily crowded. Some of them simply turned back into animal form and crouched in the waxing trees, crushing the branches and shaking the trunks.

The wet trunks of the waxy trees smelt less than friendly. If one had to describe it, it smelled like raw meat with blood, smothering the surrounding archers with nothing left to live.

Peter sneezed hard twice outside the woods and said to Oswald on his horse with a wretched look on his face. “Your…..A-choo! I’m sorry. This smell is too strong. I have…..a-choo! A little allergy. The two leaders of the Giant Beastman are at…..a-choo!”

Oswald’s face looked ugly. “Fine, don’t speak anymore. I can see them.”

It was difficult for him not to see them. Because when the archers saluted him, a robust two-metre warrior stood up and waved at him with exaggerated movements. “Hey, hey. Little emperor, do you still remember me?! You and that pretty commander had even ridden on my back last time!”

Everyone: “…..”

Peter sneezed so hard that he almost rolled down from the hippogriff.

Oswald wiped his face. “…..” He shouldn’t have treated well this thing that couldn’t speak the human language.

This thing that couldn’t even speak the human language was the giant falcon which loaded Oswald and the others out of prison, Dan.

Generally speaking, people who have been on the run together have a deeper relationship than others. At least not so shallow that they forget who they were when they had been apart for less than a month.

But this introduction of Dan was not excessive at all. If he had not hinted at it, Oswald might really not have recognised him –

The robust man had painted himself black with some material, and only his eyes and the area around his lips had not suffered from the assault. From a distance, it looked as if three dog-bite holes had been gouged into a flattened black pie, two for his eyes and one for his swollen, sausage-like mouth.

Oswald felt that he would lose his life if he continued to look at his face. He might as well looked at Kevin’s dog-pawed drawings.

Dan unashamedly continued to bounce and yelled at the top of his lungs. “Little emperor, let these archers retreat first. We have a little conditioned reflex against a weapon, and we’re itching to do something when we see an arrowhead. After a while, it won’t be good if we can’t hold ourselves back. We came to discuss something with you.”

Oswald raised his palm, and the archers withdrew their arrows. He tugged the reins, and the hippogriff strolled forward a few steps, slightly nearing the woods. “My patrolling guards told me that two of your leaders are looking for me. So, the leaders are –”

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“Me, ah!” Dan pointed at his own nose, then the figure sitting on his side. “And Shaw. We’re the leaders for this time.”

As he said this, he turned his head and used the tip of his foot to kick the person beside him. “Hey, don’t pretend to be dead! The person is already here. What’s the matter with you hiding underneath?”

The man seated on the floor was silent for two seconds and reluctantly stood up. He also had comically dark skin and a limp face, very much in a state of not wanting to meet people.

Oswald finally couldn’t bear to lift the corners of his mouth and quickly coughed once to mask it.

Shaw expressionlessly said, “Just laugh if you want.” Holding back a damn!

“There’s quite a big change in a few days. Why are you guys smearing yourself into like these?” Oswald asked.

“Why do you think?!” Dan unhappily said, “To guard against the insects. I see there’s quite a racket in here too.”

Oswald: “Oh? Is it effective?”

Dan pointed at his mouth. “What do you think? I’ve been f**king kissed until swollen. Let’s not talk about other places that had been bitten.”

Could they not be bitten? These Giant Beastmen were wild and free, and they felt that traditional houses and heavy clothes that wrapped too much were a constraint. They couldn’t show their heroic spirit if they didn’t reveal their chest and abdominal muscle. They even dared to be bare-armed in a battle, moreover in the usual times?

“What did you guys want to discuss with me?” Oswald had a guess in his heart but didn’t ask it out.

Dan collected his all smiley face and became serious. “Come to ask you for help.”

Oswald squinted and looked at him for a moment. Then, he turned the ride’s reins and raised his voice, “Let’s go. We’ll talk in the imperial palace. You guys want my help, and I want to ask for your help on a small matter. Let’s do an exchange?”

The black-painted Giant Beastman (cute) raiders followed Oswald’s troops and returned to the imperial palace. Meanwhile, the elite squad at the peak of Whitehead Hill were stuck in a battle between man and heaven.

It was a problem between jumping first or later.

“How? Have you guys prepared yourselves?” Kevin twisted his neck, making a crisp “click” sound from his neck bone. He unhurriedly walked to the edge of the hole and exercised his arms and legs, saying, “When you’re near the tunnel entrance, remember to adjust your posture. After falling into the whirlpool, relax your body and follow the water. You will naturally stop after arriving at the place.”

Actually, everyone on the scene had these questions: Why did Kevin have such a clear understanding of the situation at this place? Let’s say if he knew how to climb the mountain and the waterfall is there, then that’s fine. Why did he even know the details after falling into the waterfall?

Kevin waved his hand and didn’t talk much, only saying, “I’ve nearly been here before. At least, it was like this when I went last time. Remember not to make any noise after entering the whirlpool. It’ll be a bit troublesome if you alarm the things inside. I think you guys probably won’t want to be surrounded and bit by those things that jumped down from the peak before.”

Everyone rubbed their necks with poor complexions after hearing what he said.

“But they won’t be alarmed under ordinary circumstances. Enough, don’t waste time. I’ll jump first, and you guys follow.”

Kevin’s tone was relaxed, as if he was about to jump into a public bath and not a cliff.

Everyone pondered for a while. After he jumped, there wasn’t any reliable person left on the summit.

Thus, Nick subconsciously caught his arm. “How about…..we jump in first?”

Kevin indifferently stepped backwards and raised his brows. “It’s fine too. You go then.”

Nick: “…..”

Everyone argued back and forth. The waterfall was clearly not something a human should jump into.

Kevin ran out of patience five minutes later and rolled his eyes at their argument.

“Let’s go!” After he finished saying that, he leapt and jumped into that enormous churning whirlpool.

Ben, as a young inexperienced Beastman, hated high places like this the most. He was scared into pale on the one hand, but he also felt a warrior shouldn’t have any fear.

He anxiously wandered at the hole’s edge, seeing Kevin’s figure becoming smaller and almost entering the whirlpool. He finally forced his feet to step forward two steps.

In the end, he was probably too flustered and didn’t see that there was a protruding stone under his feet.

He tripped hard in the process and already rolled like a ball before he could take a deep breath, straightly falling into the bottom of the hole.

Instantly, the thousand metres’ mountain resonated with his wails and howls. “I f**k your dad, ahhhhhhh –”

In the process of falling, the gale shrieked in his ears and scrapped his cheeks until they were almost deformed.

Kevin closed his eyes and counted the distance in his heart while sighing: Tch. Such an embarrassing place. He really didn’t want to come here anymore…..

“Splash–”

The rushing water swamped him with a roaring sound. He held his breath and relaxed his arms and legs, allowing his body to flow with the whirlpool. The tremendous gravitation pull dragged him down at a breakneck speed.

This high-speed whirl persisted for a while and finally stopped gradually before he lacked oxygen.

He slid down the water to a flat spot and finally stopped after following the inertia forward for a while.

“Cough–” Kevin coughed out the remaining water in his throat and suddenly took a breath.

If he spun again, he would f**king throw up.

He cursed inwardly and raised his hand to wipe the water from his face. He was just about to open his eyes and get up when he felt something colder than the water pressed against his neck.

What is that?!

He snapped his eyes open, but because of the water droplets on his lashes, he couldn’t open them fully and only half-squinted.

He saw a motionless glistening blade in front through the vapour blurring his vision.

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