Chapter 58: Chapter 58 – Hugh: Promises

I waited for Nat just outside the cafeteria inside the student union, eager to see her. After spending so much time with her recently, I felt the lack at not having seen her today. I was also really hoping she could help bring some clarity to my thoughts on my new skill.

She was actually exactly on time as she arrived, and I gave her a quick kiss, just a peck on the lips. I realized that I was displaying my affection in a very public place and manner, but she seemed pleased. Good.

We exchanged greetings, grabbed some food, and found an empty table tucked away in a corner away from any other students. She seemed distracted as we ate. Not sad or anything, just distracted. I figured she had a lot on her mind with Julia and everything that was going on.

When we finished eating, though, her question indicated that it wasn’t Julia that consumed her thoughts.

“Did you mean what you said?” she asked.

Honestly, I blanked. “What thing exactly?”

She looked the slightest bit exasperated with me. “That you love me.”

“Oh.”

With all the system stuff that had come up since, I’d almost forgotten about that, but I had said it.

“Yeah, we should probably…” I remembered that the last time I told her that we needed to talk hadn’t elicited the best response from her. “…converse.”

That got her to grin, at least. “Did you just pause to find a substitute for ‘talk’?”

“Guilty.”

Well, as silly as that was, I much preferred a happy Nat to a distracted, exasperated Nat.

“Regardless of the word you use, the implication isn’t good,” she said, all hints of mirth gone. “I mean, at first I was over the moon, right? It was good to hear and made me feel just … you know. But then I realized that I must have looked crazy to you in that moment. I honestly think I was near tears I was so desperate. I can’t imagine that made you spontaneously think, ‘Man, I love that girl’!”

“Well, you were completely naked and outside, which is kind of my thing, so…”

I probably shouldn’t have said that, but it just slipped out.

“Did you mean it or not?” she asked again.

“I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

“I’ve never felt the way I feel for you about anyone else. I’ve never missed someone when I wasn’t with them. No one has ever made me feel happy just be being in their presence before. The thought of you not being in my life makes me sad. That all kind of sounds like what I think love is supposed to be, but how can I know if that actually is love?”

She didn’t say anything as she was clearly processing what I’d told her.

I rushed to continue. “I’m sorry for saying it because, you’re right, in that moment I just wanted to make you feel better. I wish that the first time I said that to you would have been in a moment where my feelings for you just so overwhelmed me that I couldn’t not say it.”

And all that was true. Every word. I felt bad for leaving out the part where I worried that I never would have gotten to a point where my feelings were intense enough for me to just blurt it out. That was a part of myself that I wasn’t ready to share yet, that I honestly might never be ready to share.

Nat let out a breath. “I was so, so scared when I guessed at your reasons for telling me, and part of me is panicking that I was right. But the rest of that…”

That did not sound good. I never intended to hurt her. I didn’t want to lose her.

“I’m almost positive that nothing I have ever heard has made me feel better than that did. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what love is. So, yeah, you saying that yesterday wasn’t ideal but you did instantly turn the situation around so maybe it was for the best. I guess what I’m saying is… you’re forgiven.”

Whew. She had me sweating that one for a moment.

She looked away from me. “I, uh… I didn’t say it back.”

“That’s okay. Really. I said it way too soon. Don’t feel that you need to say it until you want to.”

“I want to. It’s just difficult.”

“Honestly, actions speak much louder than words, and you continually show me…” I winked at her. “…just how much you love me.”

She blushed.

“Those videos were amazing by the way,” I said.

Her face burned scarlet.

“How was it?” I asked, seriously this time.

“Honestly? Weird. But good? I feel like I have my best friend back, but it’s different. And the whole … video thing adds a very complex, confusing layer on top of it. I think, though, that she and I are in a better place now, which is an amazing thing.”

I nodded, happy that she was feeling better. I’d been concerned yesterday.

“You’re really okay with what happened?” she asked. “You’re not jealous or anything?”

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“Are you planning on leaving me and being exclusive with Julia?”

“No. Of course not. I feel strongly for her and what happened was nice, but…” She shrugged. “It’s just different. Besides, I’m pretty sure that Julia is just playing around, anyway.” Nat paused. “I do have something to tell you, though.”

“Okay.”

“Did you know that skills could evolve?” she asked.

That was obviously a feature of a lot of litrpgs, but I hadn’t had any indication that it was possible with my system.

“One of your skills evolved? That’s incredible. Which one?” I asked.

I really should have guessed given the topic of conversation, but I was still a little frazzled from the love conversation.

“Bi-Curious,” she said quietly. “After the second video, I got a notification that it was now Bisexual.”

Whoa. Nice.

“How do you feel about that?” I asked.

“I don’t know. In one way, it’s weird, like a fundamental truth about who I am as a person has just completely flipped one hundred and eighty degrees. But I don’t really feel like anything is different. I know, intellectually, that, before yesterday, I had absolutely no remote interest in a girl sexually. Today, I realize that’s no longer the case, but it’s just something that is, not something that’s a big deal. Does that make any sense?”

It sounded like the system definitely included some hidden features that modified our feelings and behaviors in unexpected ways, but we’d suspected that from almost the beginning. The disturbing aspect was that neither she nor I seemed to be worried about these modifications. It was kind of like she said. Intellectually, it seemed like I should be very concerned, but I wasn’t.

“Seriously speaking here, not talking about my prurient interests,” I said, “I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Thanks. I think I’m good. Except…”

“Yeah?”

“This quest…” She looked around and then lowered her voice. “…requiring me to be naked all the time in my apartment. It’s making me aroused constantly. I can’t concentrate on anything while I’m home. Just thinking about it makes me want you so bad.”

“Well, I’m free. I could come over.”

She grimaced, not the reaction that I expected.

“Hugh, I’ve paid almost no attention to schoolwork since you came over last Friday. The system upgrades have helped a lot with that, but I need to spend an entire evening reading and catching up on assignments with no distractions.”

“Oh. Okay. That makes sense.”

“Are you disappointed?” she asked.

“No. Not at all. You need to take care of what you’re here to do.”

“I promised myself that I’d go straight from here to the library,” she said, “and, as a reward, I’d let you come over tomorrow night to have your way with me.”

“Speaking of which, I’m having a package delivered to your apartment tomorrow.”

“A gift?” Her eyes sparkled.

“In a way, but I don’t know if it’s for you or for me.”

“Is it … about that thing I told you never to speak of?”

I grinned. “It is.”

She literally shivered. “I don’t know if…”

“It’s okay. No pressure. We really do not have to do anything you don’t want to do and we will take it slow. Don’t forget your safe words.”

“God! Now I’m going to be thinking about that all night. How am I supposed to concentrate on studying?”

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want to distract you.”

She looked around again. “That’s the problem. I’m already fully distracted.” And she was. Her nipples were poking through her shirt and her bra. “I need you so bad right now. I don’t think I can wait until tomorrow. But, if I invite you over, I’m not going to want you to leave.” Her face lit up. “What about your room? We can go there just for a little while and then I can go study?”

“Ugh. Sorry. I swear that my roommate like never leaves, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be into him watching.”

I was pretty sure I definitely wouldn’t be into him watching. Gross. I mean, sure, him watching Nat or Nat and Julia? Great. But me? No.

Nat’s face fell. She looked desperate.

“Hmm,” I said. “I have an idea, but I’m not sure if you’ll like it. The good thing about it is, though, that you won’t have to break your promise to yourself.”

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