Chapter 6: Chapter 6 The Weapon Museum

How time works in Babylon is that there are no clocks; you can simply pull up your status page and look up the time and date. Time goes in increasing intervals from rounds (six Earth seconds) to turns, to a tenturn (100 rounds), to hours, which are 10 tenturns, to days, which are 16 hours. Hours are around 100 minutes in Earth time. There are 10 days to a week, 3 weeks to a month, and twelve months to a year. So while there are slightly fewer days (360) in a year in Babylon in comparison to Earth, the days are a ninth longer than on Earth. The result is that Babylon has slightly longer years than the Earth, at 400 Earth days, with each season being an orderly 100 days. The time is actually not quite 400 days, but the system simply makes an adjustment by skipping a day every 42 years.

Chapter 6

The Weapon Museum

Syran gawked at the tremendous tree that appeared around the bend. The tree limbs looked like they were warped into the shapes of various swords, hammers, and other weapons. By the side of the road was a sign in bark attached to wooden poles that said "The Weapon Museum." In front of him, an elf sat motionless on a warhorse, gawking at the sight as well.

Sryan rang the bell once to alert the following wagons and stopped right behind the knight. "Phenaquar, what is that?" questioned the young Star Elf.

Phenaquar turned around and looked at the young elf. "I have no idea. Go hop down and get the summoner up here." When Phenaquar turned back to the tree, he saw a young woman. She had some sort of green leaf—wig?—for hair, but more strangely, she seemed to be made out of wood.

"Hello, welcome to The Weapon Museum; would you like to take a tour?" The price is reasonable for the number of people who want to take the tour—five bronze per person," the woman explained.

Phenaquar activated his appraisal and knowledge skills.

* Success by more than 5 points.

To Phenaquar’s eyes, the creature briefly appears as a faintly glowing, swirling mass of blue ribbons. She possesses blue magic as well as combined water and earth magic. The secondary effect fails if you are not specialized in fairy or nature knowledge. 

* No other information was revealed because neither knowledge Fey nor Nature were known. The general knowledge check failed. Phenaquar fails to identify the creature.

Phenaquar looked at the woman some more. He could definitely make out her womanly curves and features, as the creature was not wearing clothing; it was like someone had sculpted a living elfess from a fallen tree. The appraisal showed she was faintly good and chaos aligned, so she was somewhat powerful; she also possessed combined, quasi-elemental, and mental spells. The creature stared back at him and finally waved at him. "Would you like to take a tour?" she repeated. I wonder what tours are available, thought Phenaquar, not able to take his eyes off the strange woman. 

The other heroes converged on the knight. "Anyone know what that is?" said Phenaquar. "It appears to be both chaotic and good." All of them looked at the summoner, who looked at the creature and then looked back at them. "I don’t have a clue," rasped the summoner. "Maybe Twixia might know?" Tipped off by the party bond and Syran, the five girls approached the heroes. Zip had awoken from her revelry when the stage had stopped, so she was awake, even though she was fighting a yawn.

The heroes looked at Twixia expectantly, and she gulped. "I’m sorry, I am afraid I have no idea; what about you, Star?"

Star looked at the wooden woman and said, "Hi, I am Etherstaria; what is your name?"

"I am called Brightbough," said the woman. "Would you like to tour the museum?" "You will need a weapon of a value higher than 5 bronze pieces per person."

"I would love to take the tour; what about this dagger?" said Star, handing over a dagger. "Yes, a dagger is good for 40 entries. However, I can only take a few at a time. The group of five girls walked over, and Brightbough and Star handed her the dagger. Brightbough told them to hold hands, then she grasped Star’s hand and touched the tree with the other hand. All of them disappeared from sight.

The group reappeared inside the tree. Inside was a big open space with lots of exhibits, all of which were various weapons. After finding their feet, the wooden tour guide started in.

"Thank you all for taking the guided tour of the Weapons Museum. This museum of the implements of death and destruction was started by myself, Dryad Brightbough, to cope with the fact that most creatures are wood and/or sap-thirsty toward trees. This museum covers the way that most creatures are also violent, not just to trees but also to each other for system rewards and/or money or just because they are evil."

The Dryad continued, "All of this hacking down and draining of trees should be reconsidered by you blood-sap-producing folk. The sap of trees and the blood of your kind are really very similar. They both move nutrients around in our bodies and are needed for life. The only difference is you need it even when you hibernate, and cold climate trees don’t need it when we hibernate."

"So, what's a Dryad?" Star asked, raising her hand.

The Dryad blinks at the collection of elfesses. These were elves; surely they would know about tree spirits and fey?

"Have you never seen a dryad before?" asked Brightbough.

"No, this is my first time seeing a wooden lady move around and talk. I mean, I have seen some wooden sculptures; maybe those were Dryads that couldn’t move?" replied Star.

"When you cut down trees carelessly, you may kill one of us!" Surely there is at least a discussion about not chopping down a tree with a spirit? right?" sobbed Brightbough.

"Yoshi, yoshi," said Raythiel to calm her down. "I'm sure wood elves don't hurt trees that have spirits in them. Prolly."

"I’m pretty sure tree spirits walk around and stuff instead of having wooden girls and weapons inside them," said Zip. "I am a Woodling, so I should know."

"No, those are not tree spirits; those are trees that are enchanted with spirits," complained Brightbough. "People get them mixed up all the time."

"That makes sense," said Allie.

"Finally! "Someone who understands me!" said Brightbough, petting Allie on the head. "

"Here is an enchanted acorn for your understanding. You can learn a Dryad skill that is legal for your class if you eat it," said Brightbough.

"Um, tanks," said Allie, putting it away for later.

"I don’t have any tanks, but let me show you my collection of death and dismemberment," said Brightbough. "This is my collection of daggers. This one was given to me by a High Elven noble. The dryad placed the dagger in the collection case. She cast a spell, and a description in wood appeared under the dagger. This one was given to me by Appletown, a village close to the south that trades with me in the summer. I give them enchanted acorns and wooden things they want me to make in exchange for an elf to stay with me for the summer and weapons and food for the elf. There is no doubt that their veneration of apple trees led to my tree acquiring me as a spirit."

"An elf?" said all the girls.

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"Yes, well, I get quite lonely in the summer because there are so many hours in the day. Plus, I need an elf to help me grow more... seedlings."

"So seedlings? Like making more tree spirits?" Twixia got out a quill, paper, and ink bottle.

"Yes, well, you see, my kind is always female for some reason, so I have to be fertilized to produce fruit. The seeds can then be put into some special soil, and then they germinate into seedlings. Then they have to be cared for and eventually become trees that can grow a spirit. Since there don't seem to be many dryads around, it falls to me to continue our species. Since I have been using elves, the success rate is rather low."

Twixia scratched in the information and then asked, "Have you tried using a Star elf to make seedlings? That young elf that was driving the lead wagon is a Star elf; they are more fertile than normal elves."

Brightbough replied, "No, I didn't know about Star elves."

Zip spoke up, "Is there a finder's fee for a Star elf?"

The dryad was becoming frustrated with the interruptions to the tour. "Anyway, these are a collection of swords, elven and otherwise." This one, here, belonged to a human! This odd-looking rusty one belonged to a goblin who tried to cut down my tree for the apples."

"What happened to the goblin?" said the girls.

"I charmed him, then cast a suggestion that he never return, but leave his sword within me," explained the Dryad. "That reminds me, I still have that seedling because of that suggestion. Do you want it? The village refused it."

"Why would you have a goblin seedling?" questioned Star.

"He took the suggestion of leaving his sword in me to include fertilizing me," said Brightbough. She brought out a wooden planter with a green seedling in it and handed it to Star.

"Um, sure," said Star, willing to accept anything from the dryad as a keepsake at this point.

"Just plant it in some black soil with some enchanted wood shards, wherever you want it to sprout. It will need to be tended to for bugs and fungus by a hero. Otherwise, it will be a common dryad and have practically nothing for skills, abilities, and spells, like other common creatures," cautioned the dryad, basically insulting the girls by accident.

She handed some wood shards over to Star.

"Hero, sure, no problem," sighed Star.

Twixia wrote down the instructions and ended up with a dormant seedling. Putting it away in her gigantic backpack.

"Now we come to the most dangerous blood creature weapons of all! Axes!" exclaimed the excited Dryad. "These dangerous weapons are capable of felling trees and going right through their wood defenses with great ease! These horrific things can be found in all sorts of configurations: ones for cutting trees, ones for cutting branches, even specialized ones for cutting through armor and blood creatures! This big one on a long stick is particularly dangerous for your kind! How the system allows such dreadful weapons is beyond me.

"Can we get more of those seeds for a High Elf noble axe?" asked Twixia.

"Well, that would require more than just an axe if you want one for each of you," said the dryad.

"This is a particularly cruel wood axe!" argued Twixia.

The two of them commenced haggling, and Raythiel sighed and decided to pitch in.

"How about some healing scrolls made by a magical creature as well?" asked Raythiel. "I can also throw in some summoned, enchanted, and pure summoned water." …

Star, sulking about the heroic seed, was back, looking at the elven blade. She wondered how long it would take for her to get one so Tira could train her. She knew they were very expensive. She was startled by the Dryad suddenly stroking her hair.

"What a wonderful shade, a summer golden yellow, and how soft," said the Dryad. "I will trade you the sword for your hair if you want. I would like to make a wig out of it for the trading season.

My hair? I thought, "Wait, it would grow back soon enough with a cantrip from Tira!"

Star gave a wide smile and said, "I would love to trade."

The Dryad checked the dagger's sharpness and used Star’s previous dagger to cut Etherstaria’s long golden locks, holding them to her chest in triumph.

Star held up her elven sword in triumph as well, with a radiant smile; now she could train in sword dancing!

Twixia carefully put the other seeds away. Twixia had to give up a couple of silver pieces from Star's backpack and a fertilization from Sysran to acquire the acorn skill seeds. She also arranged for Syran to receive seeds as well, so she was sure he would agree. The tour ended with the dryad showing them her collection of picks and shovels. Brightbough reasoned that anything that could dig up or destroy roots qualified as a weapon against a tree spirit. There were no hammer or mace-type weapons, which made sense as well, as banging on a tree with one would prove pretty... fruitless. They all held hands again, and they exited The Weapon Museum, with Star having traded her hand axe, dagger, and long hair for a goblin-dryad seedling, a skill acorn, and an Elven sword.

After they exited the tree, they went and got the dread noble hand axe for the dryad, while Twixia sought out Syran so he could complete the deal with the dryad.

The rest of the caravan, since the cost had already been paid, ended up taking the tour as well. The entire caravan was delayed a couple of hours after the tour so Syran could complete his task. They decided to stay in Appletown for the night, as it was getting late and it seemed there might be goblins around, so staying inside the palisade seemed like a good idea at the time.

Sorry for all the puns, it is possible that I may have read too many Xanth novels. 

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