By the time Nyx returned, Marcus had drunk both their glasses and was refilling them as he sat comfortably on the couch, waiting for her. She sighed as she locked the door behind her and walked around the sofa, instantly picking up the glass he filled and chugging down the drink before handing it back to him to fill. She pulled his hoody off and slumped down next to him, and watched the flickering flames of the small fireplace across from them.
"Are you going to tell me what happened, or will you just stare mysteriously into the flames brooding all night?" Marcus asked as he handed her another drink. She didn't seem as bad as earlier, but maybe that was because she'd seen Camilla and still wore a blank expression she wore only for her mother. But from his words, she snapped out of it, and her cold, distant expression crumbled into the girl he knew behind the mask.
Nyx leaned back into the couch and took a sip from her drink. "You know, I think Camilla was testing me tonight. To see how far my loyalty would go," She started before glaring into her glass and knocking it back again, reaching her hand out for him to fill it up.
"Nyx, you should slow down.." Marcus trailed off when she whipped her head to glare at him. He poured the she-wolf another drink and handed it back to her, then drank half of his glass, staring at her from across the rim of the glass. "What were her orders?" He asked quietly and patiently.
Nyx didn't answer straight away and took another sip from her drink. He was happy to see her slow down as he suggested. This was only the second time she'd drunk alcohol. She called it a weakness that others would take advantage of, and she couldn't ever appear weak or out of control. But tonight, she was already on her third glass, and he knew soon she would be tipsy or possibly very drunk; she was petite after all.
"So.. This particular job was personal. Camilla told me just now. Her request was.." She looked down into her glass. "Barbaric."
Barbaric? Marcus' eyes widened. For Nyx to say that, it must have been horrendous.
"When you say personal.."
"The Alpha tried to get me killed when I was three or four," Nyx replied and flicked her gaze up to look into the flames again. Marcus sipped his drink as he watched the shadows of the fire sway in her dark eyes, waiting for her to continue. She'd never spoken about her life before arriving at the Hellhounds, so this surprised him, though he kept his face neutral.
"It was revenge. But Camilla asked me.. to behead him, cut his tongue and eyes out, and his ears off along with his.." She looked down at his groin, and Marcus paled. "Then I had to cut him into pieces. Put his head on the spiked gate to their mansion and spread his body parts. The bag had his eyes and a few other parts in it as evidence to Camilla."
Marcus almost dropped his glass in shock, but he managed to grip it tightly before placing it on the coffee table. "That's not all.." What else could she have possibly asked of her? "I was also ordered to kill his family," She drank the remaining liquid and closed her eyes. "His mate and two kids."
Marcus' lips parted, but he couldn't form any words that might console her. Camilla ordered her to not only mutilate and humiliate the Alpha's body but to also kill his mate and children. That was too much even from her. Sure, they were assassins, but their target had never been children, and that was a line they'd never be willing to cross. Did Nyx cross that line?
He reached out and pulled her into his arms. She inhaled sharply and tensed but didn't pull away as her face relaxed into his chest. "I honestly don't know what to say," He murmured into her hair.
"I didn't kill them," She whispered and pulled away from his chest, her eyes flicking between his as she gauged his reaction.
Marcus grimaced even though he was relieved;, but Nyx didn't follow Camilla's order. What would she do? "Does Camilla know?" He asked just as quietly.
Nyx nodded slowly then scoffed. "She said she didn't realise I had any emotions or a heart at all.. But she didn't say any more on it. She was happy that the Alpha was dealt with in such a way then told me the reasoning behind such a disturbing end. I didn't tell her that I waited until after I beheaded him to.." She sighed, not bothering to finish the sentence. He could fill in the spots, Nyx was meant to torture him before beheading, but she'd never tortured her targets before.
It was actions like Nyx's that gave the rogues such a bad name. Sure, rogues were a little more violent, but most lived everyday lives and not as savagely as packs believed.
"Marcus, have you ever thought about the people we kill?" She asked suddenly, flopping back to lie down on the couch and lifting her legs to rest across his lap.
He shrugged at her question; he'd never really thought about it. They were just orders from Camilla. But then, he'd never been ordered to do such deeds before. "There's no point in dwelling on them. You were following orders. They're dead now, that's that."
Nyx didn't respond for some time, so he looked down at her and saw her frowning while staring at the ceiling. "Following orders.." She scoffed. "Marcus.. Do you not ever think the people we kill are innocent?"
Marcus paused the glass at his lips. "Why do you think they're innocent?" He narrowed his gaze at her.
Nyx shot upright and stared at him incredulously. "Oh, come on! Open your eyes! Do you not see that we are the villains here?" She searched his eyes, then placed her hands on his shoulders and sat comfortably on his knees, her legs on either side of him as she leaned forwards.
He could tell the alcohol was starting to take effect; she wasn't usually this daring. They'd cuddled before and shared a bed, but that was as far as things went. This position was hard to handle. But she was oblivious to it as she continued to look at him, waiting for his response.
What did she say again? Oh right. "Why are we the villains?" He asked dumbly.
"It's pretty obvious. We assassinate people and try and stop packs from expanding or doing business. But it's a never-ending cycle. The Hellhounds goal will never be reached. We are just aimlessly murdering people, but even if our goal was in sight.. that fact still remains. We are killing innocents because we don't want to what? Rebel against the packs? So, we don't have to follow some rules? It's that simple," She exclaimed; her cheeks had gone a rosy hue from how fired up she was from talking, and possibly because the alcohol took its toll.
Marcus parted his lips but closed them again as realisation hit him. He never thought about it because he was so young when he was cast away by his own pack, and even when he was a part of them, he was treated like a bug they wanted to squish. The years in the Hellhounds had helped quench his thirst for blood and vengeance. Now, looking over the years of killing, he can see just how pointless it was. Neither he nor Nyx was brainwashed into believing the Hellhound's way, but they had nowhere else to go at such a young age.
Nyx was right, but where was she going with this?
"I've had enough," She whispered the words they dare never say aloud.
Marcus glanced around even though he knew nobody was nearby.
He turned back and found her staring in no particular direction again; he gripped the couch in frustration as he saw her thoughts darkening again. He also realised now he was starting to feel a slight buzz from the alcohol, and he wanted to touch her. Nyx's skin looked so smooth, and the image of her naked body under the waterfall was ingrained in his mind, now making it hard to control his urges, especially with her straddling him like this.
Marcus caved in and raised his hand to her cheek, caressing it slowly. "I know."
Nyx looked at his lips, then leaned her face into his hand more, closing her eyes. "I want to feel something." She opened her eyes again and gazed into his. "I want my heart to race not because I'm continuously looking over my shoulder, waiting for the next person to stab me in the back. I want to rid my mind of the people I've killed, even just for a little- umph. "
Marcus silenced her with a gentle kiss.
Nyx's eyes widened for a moment, her body tensing. He pulled back, searching her eyes and waited for her to push him away but surprisingly, her arms wrapped around his neck, and her lips brushed against his. His hands slid over her waist, tightening around her as he tasted the sweetness of her kisses. She was inexperienced, but he guided her along, and not long after, they were kissing passionately.
His hands roamed up her stomach after she had already pulled his shirt off, her own hands tentatively caressing his muscles. Marcus paused just below her breasts, and he pulled away from her again, causing her to frown. "Nyx... Are you sure?" He asked, searching her gaze for any doubts, knowing well that the alcohol and her fragile state was most likely the cause for such actions.