Gaspar, who would usually stop by his daughter’s bedroom every night to kiss her goodnight, hasn’t looked for me since Noel’s ship sank.
‘Yeah, it would be painful to even see my face that resembles Noel, but he won’t come.’
As I stared at the tightly closed door that showed no sign of moving, I was startled by my own disappointment and widened my eyes.
Is it because the body became a baby and my mind became too young?
I moved and buried myself in the duvet, and I let out a laugh.
Weird.
There was a limit to how a baby’s brain could think, so it was only a few months ago that I remembered my previous life. Before that, I was just an ordinary child, so it didn’t take long for me to feel the awkward comfort of Gaspar.
‘…But I still miss that embrace.’
Also, humans have fallen into weakness.
After living a life that was harsh enough to be called a ‘human weapon’, would I not want to quickly release my vigilance and lean on others?
‘Let go of expectations.’
I kept my eyes on the doorway and bit my lip.
Bang, bang!
At that moment, a harsh wind blew as if it was about to break the window.
‘Am I afraid of thunder and lightning?’
Before realizing my previous life, I was an ordinary baby who was often startled by small sounds, but now I am a special agent who was called a crazy dog in the past.
If I was afraid of thunder and lightning, I would have died after being eliminated during training, let alone being in operations.
Slap!
I admonished myself by hitting my small cheek with a plump hand like a sausage.
My plump white cheeks became red, but my small chest, which began to pound once, did not calm down easily.
‘I used to sleep with my dad on days like this.’
Gaspar was definitely a good father.
I was scared by thunder and lightning in the midst of his busy schedule, because he used to work with me on his lap.
‘Should I call Lulu and Lala?’
I wanted to change because my cold, sweaty back was damp.
I never looked for maids because I was scared.
‘Let’s go!’
After coming down from the cradle, I strode to the spacious door like a bedroom of a duke.
By the time I barely grabbed and turned the handle, which was too high to reach, the conversation whispering between three or four people hit my ear.
“Lulu, Lala. You’d better change quickly. I told the butler that I would serve the first young master.”
The surprised voices were Lulu, Lala, and Margaret, my exclusive maid. I listened to their familiar voices for a moment.
“What does that mean, Margaret?”
“Lady Leonora is said to not be the real daughter of the Duke. So even if we serve her hard, it’ll be in vain.”
“What?”
“Didn’t you hear about the oracle? Lady Leonora is an illegitimate child born through an affair with the missing Duchess!”
Lulu and Lala did not answer Margaret’s breathless words. I moved my sullen body and crawled back into the cradle.
‘If I go out now, the atmosphere will be awkward.’
They may think that I, as a baby, cannot understand them, but I am the party to the rumor anyway.
‘Since it’s a baby’s body, thunder and lightning are very scary.’
Ignoring my shaking shoulders, I buried my face in the pillowcase.
The next day, Gaspar’s instructions came to move my room to a separate building.
“What are you doing now! Don’t carelessly touch the princess’s things!”
Unlike me, who had been preparing for it, Lulu and Lala held the arm of the soldier who recklessly moved my belongings with bewildered faces.
“It is the Lord’s order.”
“Why does he suddenly want to move the lady’s bedroom? He thought this room was the safest in the mansion, so that’s why the lady was using this room!”
“The lord told me to move the lady’s room to a separate building.”
Despite Lulu’s words, the soldier just repeated the same words with an indifferent face.
‘Yes, from Gaspar’s point of view, it is possible.’
Since he was raising the child his wife had cheated on him, his hands and feet would tremble at humiliation. It was natural to want to get me as far away as possible.
I slowly shook my head toward Lulu and Lala, who were holding my cradle as if trying to hold on to the room somehow.
“Nono.”
“…But, lady, if you go to the annex now, we can’t take care of you.”
It was like a downgrade for Lulu and Lala, the maids of the main building, to follow me to the annex.
When he instructs the maids to stay in the main building, Lulu quickly shakes her head saying that she can’t.
After all, the time spent in the annex will not be long. The emperor will soon summon me to the Imperial Palace.
With the small backpack I had casually packed in advance, I bravely walked forward.
Tears welling up in the eyes of the maids, as if it were bothering them that I was sent from the main building to a secluded annex.
‘I’m going to go get this.’
Dragging the pale pink bunny doll that Gaspar had given me one day, I hurriedly followed the soldiers.
There was no servant who came forward to hug me as usual.
‘My legs are sore, but it’s okay.’
Aware of my past life, I was no ordinary baby.
The annex was located in the forest far away from the main building, but I walked without saying a word, watching the low-flying grasshoppers.
“Who’s supposed to carry her? It’s a bit far.”
I was walking hard after the soldiers, but one of the soldiers turned and whispered softly.
“Then what if she gets out of your eyes? It is said that the child was born through an affair with the mother.”
Perhaps they thought that I wouldn’t be able to hear them as I was just looking at the flying butterflies, but the other soldier responded indifferently to his words.
My body flinched for a moment, but I stretched out my hand pretending to be chasing a bug.
“You are very coldhearted too. She was the one you served until recently.”
“Think of it as a job, Ronald. Do you think you won’t be able to turn your eyes?”
I sympathized with his opinion to some extent, but frowned at the thought that it wasn’t a conversation I was going to have in a place to barge into.
‘You have already started ignoring me.’
No matter how much I was a child, he would never have been able to commit such rudeness if I had been the child loved by Gaspard, the head of the household.
‘The employees of the Duke of Hachania were very loyal to Gaspar, the head of the household, so they couldn’t take good care of me as an illegitimate child.’
I let out a small sigh that people could not hear, and it was not until the time came when my legs became swollen that I was able to enter the old annex.
“This is where the young lady will be staying from now on.”
The soldiers who guided me to the annex bowed their heads and left without my permission.
“You have come.”
I heard the voice of the woman who came to meet me and looked at her face.
“It’s been a while, Miss. I don’t know if I should still call you Miss now.”
The woman who took her backpack away from me with her chilly face was Nora, a tutor who had been in charge of teaching etiquette after Noel set sail.
‘Oh, this woman was in love with Gaspard.’
It wasn’t until I became aware of my past life that I noticed, but she seemed to like the married man, Gaspard.
When she heard the news that Noel’s ship was capsized, I remember the corners of her lips that went up even though she was mournful.
‘Even though Gaspar didn’t seem to have any interest in her.’
Since she was in charge of the young masters, there was no contact with me, but Nora, who was obviously kind to me, pushed me into an unorganized room with a cold face as if she had become a different person.
“You can use this room.”
It was an old bedroom that was different from the one I used in the main building.
Nora watched me as I toddle towards the bed, where the dust was sitting, and she hums joyfully.
“How dare you betray the Lord! The boat turned over with great timing.”
‘Of course, I don’t think she’s my mother, but…
Even so, I distorted my face at the thought that her death, which I can’t even remember properly, was insulted.
I frowned and approached Nora, who was trembling as if she couldn’t control her excitement.
“What, miss?”
“…”
“The deceased lady was a vulgar woman who did not have the modesty of a lady. The result of that filthy affair is the young lady.”
As she put such naughty words in her mouth, she had a cheerful face for some reason.
‘Does she feel inferior to a three-year-old baby?’
For some reason, she always looked at me with a strange face when I was in Gaspar’s arms.
I lifted my finger at Nora, who was sitting on the bed, smiling meanly.
Thinking that I simply didn’t understand what she was saying, she leaned down and whispered once more.
“Did you not hear me properly? The lady is dirty.”
Bam!
“Ahhh!!!”
I quickly grabbed Nora’s hair as she approached me and nailed her forehead to the sharp post of the bed.