[I want to talk to you after school. Just once, please.]
It was Sachi who sent me such a message on Tuesday morning.
My honest impression was that it was a pain in the *ss.
(Come to think of it, she originally said she had something to do yesterday as well.)
Is that what this is about? Well, whatever it is, I’m in no mood for it.
I’m not even sure if I want to go to school or not anymore. Please don’t give me any more heartache.
”I’ll go to school anyway…”
I don’t feel like it, but I have to go sometime.
If I do, it will be better to do it sooner rather than later. I knew from experience that the later I went, the harder it would be for me to go.
It was the same with Sachi’s invitation, and I was sure she would persistently ask me to go. If that is the case, I should go out with her once until she is satisfied.
With this in mind, I replied to Sachi with a single word, “Okay”.
The reply came back immediately.
“Oi, there he is…”
“Really… Who the hell do you think you are?”
When I arrived at school, of course, I was not welcomed.
…..I heard you. Please be careful, because you might be surprised how much I hear you talking behind my back.
As I sit prostrate in my seat, I can feel a lot of stares coming my way.
I miss it. I thought, somewhat optimistically.
I realize now that when I was betrayed at that moment, it must have already been about me bullying Sonoda.
I felt something similar to the feeling I had at that time from the way they were looking at me now.
Sure enough, the fact that I was bullying someone else had been conveyed.
I heard that even the details of who was bullying whom had been passed on.
Source? Of course it was the boys in the back seat. I was in the bathroom stall and happened to hear what he had to say. Many thanks for everything.
Now, here’s what I’m going to do.
It’s obvious. I’m going to go through with it.
Because a rumor is a rumor.
If anyone tries to do any real damage based on this rumor, I’ll crush them thoroughly.
Assuming that my history of bullying Sonoda is true, that’s no reason for them to bully me. Justice is not on the other side.
It’s just a rumor now. There is a possibility that it will stop someday, and there is no way to identify the culprit in the first place.
And I don’t think I’m going to try. I can get away with it if it’s just like this, and above all, it’s a hassle. If this is all I have to do, I’ll just let it slide.
That’s the best. Somewhere between being an one person and alone. Well, I guess you could say I’m a floater.
My heart is fine. There’s no such thing as a ” all-or-nothing ” situation.
It was lunchtime, and I left the classroom.
For the first time in about a week? Maybe. I caught a glimpse of her.
It was Emi Sonoda.
Even though we did not see eye to eye, we both recognized each other.
She was not upset and continued chatting with her friends.
Fukumura was not there.
The girls around me noticed me. And they gave me wary glances. But I quickly looked away, wondering if Sonoda had said something.
I wondered if she knew about the rumors circulating.
Or is she the one who started the rumor?
It is possible. But there was no way to know for sure.
So I pass by her without saying anything. She didn’t say anything, nor did she shed a tear.
That was fine. That is the most appropriate distance.
From now on, I am sure I will be spending time with every student at this distance.
It occurred to me that, in the truest sense of the word, the person who is the least involved with others is me right now.
I am not a “one-person” person who actively doesn’t engage with others, just not when I need to. If they talk to me, I respond at the very least.
A ” one-person” person can exist only because of the interference of others. Strictly speaking, a person cannot be “alone” without being involved with someone else.
Then, what about the middle ground between “one-person” and “alone”?
Of course, I do not go out of my way to get involved with others, and I am shunned by others as if I were a tumor.
There is no moment when sparks fly between “One person and alone”
When it happens, that is the moment when “one person” becomes “alone.
And it is usually caused by “malice.”
Therefore, this situation is a turning point.
My future will be determined by how I respond to this situation. Yeah, it’s depressing.
<Sachi’s point of view>
”Oh, Onii-chan! Over here, over here!”
“….Don’t make a scene.”
At the sound of my voice, my brother looked a little embarrassed and said so. I couldn’t help but raise my voice.
After school, he accepted my invitation. To be honest, I was afraid he wouldn’t come, but I am glad he did.
I guess he didn’t want me to have to worry about him asking multiple times or visiting his house in the future, so I guess he thought it would be a good idea to avoid any lingering worries, but I guess that’s just the way it is.
The place was a family restaurant near the school. I was waiting for my brother at the meeting place.
After meeting up with him, we went inside the restaurant and were shown to our seats.
Since I did not intend to stay long, I asked for something light to snack on.
“So, what’s this talk about?”
My brother immediately started talking to me. For my part, I would have preferred to wait until we had chatted a bit more, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
I straightened up and told him.
”Onii-chan, will you come live with us again?”
“Sorry, but that will be a no.”
After a few moments of silence, my brother said so.
“—–Why?”
I know the answer. But I couldn’t not ask.
“You already know the answer, no?”
Right, he replied.
Yes, I know. It’s my crime, nothing else. How could I not understand?
Nevertheless, if he said that, then I knew that he was not bullying her.