After finishing dinner, Sachi and I did nothing in particular, just letting time flow by.
I opened a piece of paper which Miyajima had given me from out of my pocket.
On it was a phone number and a note that said, “I’m sorry for being so rude.”
From the way the message was written, I thought that she probably wanted to apologize to me.
But what I was curious about was why at this timing.
It is almost certain that Itakura is involved, and if anything, she could have ambushed me at the place where I was called out.
Would it be twisted? No, I have experience with it, so I can’t help it.
”… What’s wrong, Onii-chan?”
”….Ah, it’s nothing.”
Sachi looked at me as if she could see it on my face.
”—-I won’t pry, but don’t push yourself too hard, okay?
“…..I know.”
It was obvious that it was not nothing. But Sachi was very considerate of the distance between us. That thoughtfulness warmed my heart a little.
”—-But in case”
I found myself talking to Sachi.
“What would Sachi do if I got fed up with everything, threw it all away, dumped it all, and disappeared somewhere?”
After I said it, I regretted it intensely. At the same time, I was filled with embarrassment.
What the hell am I asking my sister?
It’s not fair to ask such a question. It’s half-assed.
Sachi supports me. It’s a tragedy of self-indulgence born of such blind faith.
I just want her to push me to take a step forward.
I was disgusted with myself for not being able to honestly rely on her.
I hid my face in my hands.
I was afraid to look at Sachi’s face.
“—-I won’t do anything”
That was the answer I got from Sachi.
One could even say that it was an ideal answer.
“There is nothing to be done about it. I have no right to do anything about it, and I have no right to blame you.”
She continued, adding, “Not to me, now.”
“I know that if I force Onii-chan to make a choice and you still don’t accept it, there’s nothing I can do about it. I accept that as punishment.”
In other words, she’s accepting my choice.
In other words, I wanted people to accept me for who I am.
Whatever the conclusion, whatever the answer.
“—-That’s Onii-chan’s choice”
“—-My choice.”
”Yeah. If it’s a decision that Onii-chan thought about and came to a satisfying conclusion, then I can accept it.”
But, she continued.
“If it was a desperate measure that you came up with because someone was pressuring you, I wouldn’t accept it. I don’t want to accept it.”
“….Sachi.”
”That’s what I meant when I said it was unfair. The most important thing to remember is that you should never be afraid to ask for help from someone who is not your friend. Right?”
”…Centainly, that’s not fair.”
Sachi and I looked at each other and laughed.
Since when did the space between us become so cozy?
“Well, despite what you say, I probably wouldn’t give up on Onii-chan. If Onii-chan doesn’t give me the answer I want, maybe I’ll object?”
“That would be unfair.”
”That’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m a cunning girl.”
”What are you talking about…..Fufufu”
I can’t let her say this much and not take a step forward.
I’ve got a reason. No, I’ve been given a reason.
For my own sake, I was a little short on courage to face up to who I am.
So, I’ll be cunning too. Let’s make up a reason.
For Sachi’s sake.
That’s good enough as a reason. I’ll do my best to give Sachi the answer she wants.
I’ll do what I want to do for Sachi.
What I’m saying is a complete mess. But I’m the only one who needs to know that.