Chapter 30: Chapter 30: Chaos Theatrics

Boom Boom threw the two royal females onto the ground, both of them skidding along the dirty surface and frankly ruining their dresses because that stuff was not coming out.

“Boom Boom caught these two traitors!” Boom Boom shouted. “They were plotting against Morton and tried to cause a prison break nearby. But don’t worry, Boom Boom and his friends helped put it down. Now we need to lock them away before they can do any more damage.”

The Sumo Bro guards looked down at Princess Peach and Lordess Bowsette with disgruntled disdain. “Dude I hate processing new inmates,” one said. “Can you please do the paperwork this time? I’ll owe you, I swear.”

“Deal,” the other said.

“You clod!” Bowsette shouted. “How could you turn on us like this?!”

“Boom Boom’s duty is to the throne,” Boom Boom said. “Not to a pretender.”

“We don’t care,” the Sumo Bro said. “Just get on with your way and--”

Boom Boom wound up his arms and then spun rapidly into them, knocking both guards down and out.

Peach and Bowsette got up.

“Not as strong as Boom Boom used to be, but that was pretty fun,” he said.

“Let’s go in and free everyone,” Peach said. She put back on her Blue Shell power-up so that nobody would be able to recognize her. Bowsette appreciates a finely-shaped shell, but an impostor shell like this was not attractive at all. If it weren’t for the necessity of battle, she would never have allowed Peach to make such an ugly fashion statement.

They descended the stairs into the main prison hall. Chaos Castle was, strangely, MUCH more secure than the castle Bowsette and Boom Boom had been imprisoned in. There were many more types of guards than just the simple Koopatrols, including Dark Lakitus circling over the cells and several Twomps and Whomps right in front of the entrances. If only they had enough coins to bribe these guys into being on their way.. but Bowsette knew as much as any dictator that fear was one of the strongest motivators. They would have to beat these guys to surrender.

And that’s what they did. Bowsette jumped into the air, kicked two Lakitus down off their clouds, and floated down gently to the--

Ah crap!!! Bowsette didn’t have the magic to be able to float anymore!!!

She crashed on the ground and was disabled for a couple moments.

Boom Boom and Shell Peach were bouncing around the place; Boom Boom spinning and throwing his own spiked shell at guards, and then throwing Peach around and letting her ricochet around the place. Soon they broke into the cells and freed the prisoners on this first floor, which included an assortment of Black Bob-ombs, Fire Bros., and Wigglers. A very dangerous combination, but one that was able to take down the guards in just moments.

Bowsette finally summoned the strength to... get back up...

Okay, there. Boom Boom and Peach looked at her with glares, but she ignored them and dusted off her dress. She did what she wanted in battle, and that was her strategy. Caring whether or not it succeeded was beyond her capabilities.

The continued on down to the next floor, where there were several Rocky Wrenches throwing things at them. Peach pulled out a parasol and began rotating it rapidly; as she dropped into her shell it spun faster and faster, to the point that every wrench that flew this way bounced off her and back to the guards.

Bowsette had to one-up that, then. She dashed forward towards a large Thwomp, brought out her claws, and scratched it twice in an X-formation. It exploded, sending chunks of rocks everywhere.

A few automated Clown Cars flew into the room, just as sirens blared. The Koopa Troop Army was likely onto them now, so they needed to hurry. Behind them were more Koopatrols and the same Sumo Bros from before.

They went further down the hall. Dozens of Spinies marched towards them, and there were a few Bullet Bill launchers set up, as well as a huge Chain Chomp.

Bowsette looked at Peach, and then to Boom Boom. “We need a plan, and quick.” She thought quickly. We’ve all got shells. Let’s use them!”

Boom Boom and Peach nodded.

Peach and Bowsette each got inside their shells and Boom Boom picked them up. He began winding himself up, twisting his body as far as it would go, and then let go. He spun around at rapid speed, using the most of his meager amount of magic to shoot fireballs in a circle around him. Along with that, he launched Peach backwards towards the guards there and Bowsette forwards, aiming directly for the Chain Chomp. Bowsette crashed into several Spinies, going at such a fast rate that a few of them instantly burst into flames. Bowsette collided with the Chain Chomp, denting its spherical body and sending it flying backwards until it itself collided with and obliterated one of the cell walls. Paragoombas with clipped wings poured out, casing chaos but no real damage to any of the guards.

Bowsette hopped out of the inside of her shell and looked back to see Peach still bouncing around in her shell, holding her parasol outwards and bashing it into nearby guards. Atta girl.

What to do about the Rocky Wenches and Spinies around Bowsette, then? Well, here was one drastic, foolish move; she did a jump-and-slide, got behind the Chain Chomp and smashed in the wooden spike keeping it chained down. She then grabbed the beast by its chain, mustered all the strength in her weak human body, and began spinning it around like a weapon.

It yelped a few times before accepting its unfortunate fate, and Bowsette had officially tamed her first Chain Chomp as a half-human. She swung it in a circle, smashing it into every enemy around her, and obliterating the Bullet Bill cannons before they had a chance to do much damage to any of them. With Peach and Boom Boom having mostly cleared out the enemies behind them aside from the Clown Car robots above, Bowsette made the decision to continue forward, where she could see a large holding cell that was likely home to her children.

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Four Koopatrols stood in front of the cell, and she could see at least Lemmy hopping up and down to try and get above them and figure out what all the commotion was. Instead of fighting them, Bowsette simply glared, licked her lips and then ROARRRRRRRed, letting out as fierce a growl as her body could give.

It wasn’t half as impressive as her Koopa roar, but it was just as effective; the guards turned tail, literally, and ran away. She swung the Chain Chomp one more time, breaking down the bars to the cell, and then let the monster go free, leaving it up to its own devices.

Peach and Boom Boom quickly caught up to her.

Five Koopalings, all here: Ludwig, Lemmy, Bowser Jr., Morton Jr., and last of all-- Iggy, the Conqueror who led a rebellion against his grandfather. She ran over to them, grabbed them all together, and gave a big huge.

“Oh, boys...”

She let out a few tears; as Bowser she never would have deigned it necessary to express her emotions like this, but she couldn’t help herself; she cried her eyeballs out to know her kids were safe.

They were very confused.

“Don’t worry about her,” Boom Boom said. “She’s... an ally.”

Oh, that was right.

She let go and saw their very confused faces, having just been embraced by an unfamiliar Peach-like being with no explanation. She folded her arms and pretended to be all aloof about it. “Aight,” she said. “I saved you. Now get on out of here.”

They all looked to Boom Boom for explanation.

“Who is...” Bowser Jr. wasn’t even sure how to ask the question.

“My name is Bowsette!” she shouted. “And listen up! You five are heroes! But you’d better understand these directions and follow them closely!” They tuned in with great attention. “My f-- That evil Morton Koopa, Dry Morton, whatever you want to call him, must be stopped. But he is too powerful right now. Even in his current form he is too much for anyone to handle, and he aims on regaining his lost power by utilizing celestial blood in a sacrificial spell.

“See last time we beat him, we did it with the Firestone Amulet. But that was destroyed. So we have to try another way. You five are strong, and you did a noble thing, but you cannot defeat Morton Koopa in his current state. In fact, if he gets his hands on you--” She stuck a finger into Morton Jr.’s chest. “He will be able to use your blood to revive himself fully.”

“Wh...Why me?” Morton Jr. asked in a grunt.

“Because, I... Because your blood is more pure than the rest of your siblings.” She wanted to stop right here and tell him everything, that he was actually Bowsette’s much younger brother, that he was the Heir Apparent to the current throne, but it wasn’t the right time. It’d give him ambitions that he simply didn’t have the ability to fulfill. Maybe another time. “The rest of you... please protect him. Do you understand?”

The other four Koopalings nodded.

“Good,” she said. “Then what you should do is fight underground. Free castles, help fugitives escape. Help General Guy, if you can. But don’t let yourselves be captured. Be strong. Wait for us. When we come back to Dark Land, we will not be alone, and you will be able to join us for the ultimate battle. I promise.” She looked directly at Iggy. “Someday you will be a real Conqueror. But for now... you just need to be a Savior. Do it for... do it for your Father.”

Iggy gave one decisive nod, and his glasses fell off a little bit. “For Bowser.”

“For King Bowser!” the five of them shouted in unison. Bowser Jr. looked down in sadness, still too young to be able to get past the fact that his father was apparently gone.

Bowsette took a few steps back from them and looked at her two companions. “If we want to escape Dark Land today, we need to do it soon. The Blarggs come out more often at night, so we can’t risk moving too far then.”

“Do you know the fastest way out?” Peach asked.

“Ka! I am the Lordess Bowsette, Tracker of a Thousand Paths, Devourer of Worlds! I know every facet in the Kingdom. Every lava lake, every Goomba hamlet. If you want a quick way out, you’ve got the right gal!”

The Koopalings were still very confused about this strange woman, but they seemed eager to follow her orders. That was okay with her for now.

She would... tell them when she was ready that she was their father... er, mother? Right now was not the right time for that, not at all.

They escaped the prison together, setting up a few bombs to knock the whole prison section of Chaos Castle down. And then they bid their farewells to the Koopalings, who joined the Fire Bros. and Paragoombas and Wigglers and other escapees making their way towards safety.

Bowsette would be back. She had promised, after all. But for now, she would be once again leaving Bowser’s Kingdom, and probably for a very long time. She took one last look at her sons before they disappeared from view, and prayed to the Spirit Stars that they would watch over them.

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