Chapter 34: Chapter 34: Game Guy

This was bad.

This was not an appropriate course of action, and Toadsworth could not stand at all that he was doing this. But the Chancellor had threatened his position, his granddaughters’ enrollments at the Toad Academy, his pension... and he knew he could make it all happen if he wanted.

Even if this was the worst thing he ever did in his life, he went along with it anyway. Despicable or not. It would be his burden to bear.

“Is this really the only way?” he asked the Chancellor. They were in a nondescript location in the Creepy Cavern, searching for a Shy Guy-like insignia on the ground. If they could just touch it, then... they would find their way.

“It is,” the Chancellor answered. “Aha. Here we go.”

They found it... the entrance to Game Guy’s Palace. A quick warp later, and they were in the middle of a vast mansion filled with all sorts of gambling machines and strange modernist artwork, but no denizens. No denizens except for Game Guy himself, standing at the top of a stairway and looking down at the two Toads below him. He hopped down a few times and then straightened his bowtie.

“I knew you’d see me eventually,” he said. “It’s been a long year for the Mushroom Kingdom, hasn’t it?”

“It has indeed,” the Chancellor said. “I haven’t had to see you for a very long time. I do not enjoy it.”

“Well, I have to say that I do,” Game Guy said.

By day, a friendly game show host and purveyor of a casino district in Shy Guy’s Shuffle City, and by night a financier of rebellion, insurrection, and mayhem throughout the continent. Toadsworth himself knew that Shy Guy’s Toy Box had most likely been completely funded by Game Guy, and reports that General Guy was leading some sort of resistance movement in Dark Land seemed to match his modus operandi. But it was also likely that the current secession movements throughout the Mushroom Kingdom had much in the way of blame to fall squarely in his arms.

Why did he do it? He was not a profiteer like that rat Lumpy, who had essentially taken over the entire Dry Dry Desert with his cash. He wasn’t making any money off any of this chaos; in fact, the more war, the less money there was for people to spend at his casinos.

Toadsworth suspected, underneath that expressionless mask, he may very well simply have been a monster.

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“So, do you want me to stop my resource flow towards impeding your stability efforts?” Game Guy asked. “I’ll do it, free of charge, if you invade the Bean Bean Kingdom again. Just a little war.”

“No, actually... we want you to increase your efforts,” the Chancellor said.

Toadsworth eyes drooped at this. He could hardly bear to hear his own complicity in this disastrous line of thought.

“Ah, I see,” Game guy said. “You want to create a revolt. You want House Toadstool to fall so that House.... Whatever your surname is, can rise.”

“Precisely. It is for the good of our nation. In a hundred years, we will be more prosperous than ever. Even if in five years we are still in a realm of disarray, the future is what really matters.”

“Right.” Game Guy pondered this for a few moments. “I know exactly what do do. Toad-Koopa tensions are at an all-time high. Bowser’s escaped and on the loose. Maybe some Spikes could make a ruckus about trying to unite and reclaim Spike’s Lost City. Perhaps Shiver City and Starborn Valley could become embroiled in a conflict? All are very good options.” Bowser wasn’t actually loose, but Game Guy most certainly didn’t need to know about that right now. That was not to their tactical advantage; even Toadsworth could recognize that.

“All I want to know is if the Princess will survive it.”

“Give me exclusive casino rights in Shroom City and she sure as Triple Pie won’t. She’ll be getting Game Guy’s Sweet Surprise.”

“Deal.”

They shook hands. Toadsworth wanted to die. But instead he remained silent.

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