Chapter 11: The Hare Show – Lepus is a girl

Rabbit, Hare, and Bunny gather around to eat some pancakes and waffles. “Can we not eat Pancakes and Waffles for every fucking meal?” Hare asks, obviously annoyed. “Sorry hare, but after I got this new job working as a breakfast store that only sells Pancakes, and Waffles they give it to me for free, and guess they even give up maple syrup Eeeee” Rabbit squeals in excitement.

 

“Once you’re done having an orgasm, I’m gonna play with some friends” Hare states, “But I thought you said you were gonna clean up your room?” Rabbit asks. “Bullshit you thought I wanted to do that” Hare says, laughing. Lepus slides down the stairs, and lands in the dining room chair.

 

Hare, Rabbit, and Bunny gasp it’s been three years since they have seen Lepus come out of his bedroom,unless Fairy is involved. “Hey Lepus, You know Fairy’s not here yet right?” Hare reassures him, “Yeah I know that” Lepus fires back at Hare. 

 

“But, I have a plan. I want to be a girl!” Lepus says, he stands on a chair and points to himself “I lepus will become Transgendered”, “Great, ever since 2016 the world has ben one big faggogeddon” Hare thomas says bitterly. “Isn’t being transgendewed a sin?” Bunny asks. “Uhh well you see I am uhh” Rabbit gets interrupted by Hare, “Let me do this since this pussy is too scared, it’s a sin not like Rabbit would care” Hare says.

 

“I was bisexual for one year Hare, One year” Rabbit explains.

 

 “But in more important news, why do you want to be a girl? And also do you even kow how to act as a girl” Hare asks “better not be no ‘I don’t feel comfortable in my skin’ Bullshit.”

 

“So one night I was watching Citrus a yuri anime and suddenly I realized damn this is hot, then i started watching Lesbian porn and a part of me said you should be a girl so you can enjoy this great moment” Lepus explains “and yeah been thinking about it for over a month now an I want to do it. To answer your second question I’ve seen Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda and other similar music videos to know that women act as scandalous, inappropriate and wear the most revealing clothes ever”

 

“Damn Lepus you are smart” Hare remarks, “Isn’t that wwong to treat women as pown tools? '' Bunny asks. “What else would you use them for? Outside of cooking?” Lepus asks.

 

“Lepus you are gonna burn in hell for sex?” Rabbit asks, confused. “Ah lesbian sex” Lepus corrects him “Now I will step outside and everything will be fine.”

 

Lepus steps outside, and gets his skin burned off “AHHHHHH” Lepus shouts in agony and rushes back inside. 

 

“Did you forget an umbrella?” Hare asks “You haven’t been outside in three years”, “Oh yeah” Lepus takes his umbrella and goes outside “Ah this is better than that one time I watched Naruto” Lepus says.

 

“Maybe I can do what they say on the internet and touch grass?” Lepus lowers his hand when suddenly a kid shouts “Are you Lepus!”

 

“Yes I am Thomas Lepus” Lepus answers, “I’m Natas, I’m Bunny’s best friend throughout this whole time I thought Bunny was lying about having an older brother named Lepus” natas responds.

 

“Why is your name Natas?” Lepus asked, “When I came out the womb my mom immediately hated me, and so did my dad because our skin tone didn’t match. She wanted to call me Satan but child laws so she named me Natas, Satan backwards,” Natas explains.

 

“Wow what’s the worst thing you’ve done?” lepus asks, “Smoked Cigarettes, and beat the shit out of Bunny one time” Natas answers. “What are you doing outside?” Natas asks, “i want to be a girl to have lesbian sex” Lepus answers, “Oh wow just odd, but cool” Natas says “I want to be a girl now”

 

“Go right on ahead” Lepus says as he continues walking, but he starts noticing something. People keep coming up with shock and awe with cameras. Lepus doesn’t like all this attention so he tries to run back home, but people follow him, he rushes inside of his house and slams the door behind him.

 

“You guys didn’t tell me that, I was going to be famous” Lepus shouts, “Oh yeah, the last time anyone has seen you was in the sixth grade” Hare explains “Some people thought you died”

 

“Luckily I remember stealing something from Fairy’s house with an invisibility cloak” Lepus holds it in his hand and says “Hallelujah”, “Oh so that’s where Fairy’s invisibility cloak went, I just thought she lost it” Hare says.

 

“Nope I stole it, and I sniff it everyday before I go to bed” Lepus explains, drooling over the jacket “I-it i-is th-the only t-thing … I … want”, “that and a year long subscription to funimation” Rabbit says, “yes and that” Lepus agreeing with Rabbit. 

 

“But, I really don’t think you should be doing this wearing a stolen item, to get another item, and then probably regret your decision” Rabbit says, “Pfft I will never regret my decision to become a female, never will I ever” Lepus says, with a cocky attitude. 

 

Lepus puts on the cloak “Alright guys I’m going outside, hopefully this cloak protects me from the sun as well, Rabbit open up the door.” Lepus demands, Rabbit goes to open up the door, but Bunny rushes to get it “I opened it befowe you” Bunny says pointing at Rabbit.

 

Lepus sneaks through the door and walks to Fairy’s house “Oh great Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of the mario series please do not fail me now” Lepus prays, holding his hands together as he goes to fairy’s house

[Fairy’s House]

Lepus takes off his cloak and knocks on the door “I really hope Fairy isn’t mad” he mumbles to himself, Fairy’s mom opens up the door “Hey, Are you one of Fairy’s friends?” She asks. “Uh yeah my name is Hare Thomas” Lepus says, trying to trick the lady. “Thank god you’re not Lepus she said if you ever appeared an i quote ‘Shoot him with a laser cannon’ and I don’t want to do that to a child” Fairy’s mom says.

 

“So is Fairy in her room?” Lepus asks, “No she’s taking a shower right now, if you want you can wait in her room” The mother says. “Oh yes of course” lepus says, with a devious grin on his face. He walks up the stairs, puts the cloak's hood back on, and walks up the stairs and knocks on the bathroom door.

 

Fairy opens it, and sees no one there “Whatever” she says going back into the showers, lepus sneaks back in and watches. “I have dreamed of this I didn’t think it would come true” Lepus whispers to himself. Lepus takes off his pants and starts to sing to himself “With Jake the dog,and finn the human the fun will never end it's masturbation time.”

 

Fairy takes her shower, and Lepus watches, and accidently lets out a moan. “Ahh” Fairy shouts “Who’s out there, if you wanted to have sex with me you could’ve just asked”, Lepus throws off his cloak and smiles.

 

“Lepus you-you came out of your house?” Fairy says “I need to tell everyone else this”, “Wait no not now” lepus says freaking out “Look I really need you to give me your genderbend machine”, “Why so you can become a female, and have sex with other females” Fairy attempts to guess, “Yes it is but that doesn’t matter” Lepus says.

 

“Will you obey the restraining order if I give you the machine to be a girl?” Fairy asks, “maybe” Lepus responds. “Why did i even ask of course you won’t” Fairy responds as she facepalms herself.

 

[Fairy’s Room]

“Alright” Fairy says “this is the machine” she shows lepus the machine, and Lepus snatches it. “Ok I want really big tiddies and a thicc ass thicker than mcdonald shake”, “Alright” Fairy checks the settings and switches it to weeb talk.

 

“Alright” Fairy blasts him with the machine.

 

The smoke slowly forms, you don’t see anything but all of a sudden you hear a shout.

 

Lepus squeals in excitement “Wow I have tiddys and they aren’t my imagination” Lepus plays with them, and then looks at Fairy “Welp I’m the only person you haven’t fucked yet” lepus say, “MOM” Fairy shouts, “What? Her mother responds rudely.

 

“I’m gonna have sex with a friend real quick” Fairy shouts, through the crack in her door. “Alright, but if it's that boy, wear a condom. I'm not raising any babies, and also clean your own damn sheets” Fairy’s mom says.

 

Fairy takes off her clothes welp let's start.

 

[the next day, Dawn]

“Ugh” Lepus says “He turns to Fairy, and then smiles. “I knew this would work” Lepus says, mumbling under his breath, he goes over to the genderbend machine, and looks at it “no going back” lepus says, Violently slamming the remote down on the ground and then stomps on it.

 

“This is not going back” lepus mumbles under his breath with a serious tone, “LEPUS!!” Fairy shouts “Now I have to rebuild that, why did you even destroy it?”, “I don’t know if it's dramatic,” lepus says, shrugging his shoulders. 

 

“Get the fuck out my house!” Fairy demands, “Alright” Lepus rushes out of the house and runs back to Rabbit's house.

 

[Rabbits house, Everyone is getting ready for school]

 

 “Rabbit I am excited to tell you I am going back to school” Lepus informs everybody, “Worst decision of your fucking weeb life” Hare responds, “What do you mean school is fun” Bunny says “yesterday we finger painted”

 

“Bullshit you just don’t have to do Algebra” Hare says, “Algebra like the funny FNF song?” Bunny asks, “No Algebra the thing that Highschoolers dread” Hare responds. “I realised how there would be a lot of fuckable lesbian females at school” Lepus remarks “Which is why i'm going”

 

“Welp get in the car” Rabbit says, opening the car door. Hare, Rabbit, Lepus, and Bunny get in the car and they proceed to drive to the school.

 

[The school]

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“Woah, did you guys get the text from Fairy?” Joskin asks, “No I don’t have her saved in my phone” Penny answers. “Well, Hare has a brother or sister and she or he is really good at sex like really fucking good” Joskin responds, “Do you think I have a chance?” Eddy asks. Everybody starts laughing and so does Eddy, “Dude you are fucking hilarious” Joskin Responds.

 

“Dude everytime a new girl comes into the neighborhood I gotta do the Operation 12 prank” Xavier says, “the one with alcohol?” Joskin asks, “Alcohol, Alcohol” Craig Shouts “I want some alcohol please PLEASE.” Craig Shouts, Begging on his knees.

 

“Sure we go to the bar at 7:00 P.M.” Xavier says “We take Hare’s sister with us”, “Oh no, oh no, oh no” Wendy says “Your gonna gte her drunk and then fuck her aren’t you, you misogynistic piece of shit.”

 

“Yeah, but it’s a prank” Xavier says, “I don’t know bout dat shit Nigga” Jamal questions it “If it was originally a boy then became a girl won’t dat make it gay?”, “What’s wrong with gay?” Wendy asks “I’m Bisexual, you homophobe”

 

“Look” Joskin shouts, Tapping Mimes shoulder “There she is” Joskin says pointing at lepus.

 

Lepus walks down the Hall, “Do you know what your first class is?” Hare asks. Xavier pushes Hare out the way “hey Lepus want to go to the Bar with us at 7:00” Xavier asks, “Say No” Wendy says “He’s tryna fuck you.”

 

“No I’m not right Craig” Xavier questions Craig, Craig is sitting next to the lockers drinking alcohol throwing the bottle on the ground, “Ummm?” Xavier says “Joskin am i trying to get lepus drunk?”

 

“Oh you’re not,” Joskin says, winking at Wendy. “Petty asshole” Wendy mumbles, “Dude Xavier does this everytime” Hare says “But, you’re a boy so you should be fine”, “Are you fucking kidding me Hare, Joskin, Xavier this is our friend Lepus” Wendy shouts.

 

“I haven’t talked to him in years if I’m being honest” Joskin says “Why the fuck would I care”, “Lepus if you go, it’s your funeral” Wendy says furious as she walks off. “She must be on her period” Xavier responds.

 

[School, Recess]

“Oh my god” Lepus says “Being a female is so awesome” Lepus squeezes his breasts, “hahahu May I touch your tiddys?” Alexandre says, taking a bite of his baguette. “What not these are mine” Lepus says, offended.

 

“But-” Alexandre gets cut off, “That’s like me asking if I can touch your dick” lepus shouts “would you like that?, “hahaha Only one way to find out if I’ll like it” Alexandre says. Lepus jumps off the swing and leaves.

 

[After School]

“Ugh” Lepus moans “School is so hard”, “yeah” hare remarks, “luckily we are going home now” Lepus answers. “Wait, but I thought?” Hare asks “We were going to the bar”, “Reggie said '' Lepus gets cut off. “Look Reggie overreacts to shit alright, trust me I will let nobody touch you when we get to the bar” Hare Reassures lepus.

 

“How do I know you won’t betray me like Sasuke from Naruto, Taco from BFB, or Gollum from Lord of the rings?” Lepus asks, “Because I just won't,” Hare says, with a cocky attitude. Hare and lepus look at each other, and they both blink. “I promise” hare says, grabbing Lepus’s hand, “You promise” lepus says, “yes that's what I just said '' Hare replies.

 

“Now let's go to the bar” Hare shouts, “Yeah” Lepus says.

 

[the Bar]

“Ok I’m gonna play pool with some friends, if you need anything Holler” Hare says, pointing to Joskin and jamal. “There is Xavier,” lepus says.

 

[the bar table]

Lepus sits right next to Xavier, “Get me two alcoholic beverages” Xavier says holding up his two fingers. “Aren’t you a bit young for alcohol” The Bartender says, “And aren’t you too young to have two disobedient kids, a wife who is getting experimental with the neighbors, crippling depression, and gray ass hair” Xavier responds.

 

“I’ll give you the alcohol” the bartender says, depressed. “So lepus, are you ready for a drink?” Xavier asks, “Alright, but try any funny business and Hare is watching” lepus says.

 

Xavier turns to Hare, and sees Hare playing pool. “Alright” Xavier responds carefree, Lepus and Xavier drink alcohol, but Xavier fakes it. “I’d take another glass” Xavier shouts, after ten glasses of alcohol.

 

Lepus gets drunk, Xavier grabs her and takes her to his house. 

 

Meanwhile, Hare plays pool “I really need to go check on Lepus, it's been 30 minutes”, “bro look GTA 6” Keith shouts, Everyone starts to be surprised, “I HATE IT” Ronald shouts.

 

“But GTA is so good” Joskin says, “No I fucking hate GTA” Ronald shouts.

 

“Lepus is probably fine,” hare says.

 

[the next Morning, Xaviers house]

 

“Ugh where am I?” Lepus says to himself, “Sup” Xavier winks next to him. “What where was hare” lepus shouts in anger, “he was watching the trailer for TF2-2 electric boogaloo” Xavier responds.

 

“Did you wear a condom?” lepus asks, “No it ruins the prank” Xavier responds. Lepus tries to leave through the door, “By the way the door is locked, people can come in, but they can’t come out” Xavier winks, Lepus grabs his monitor, throws it out the window, and jumps out.

 

“Wow mature” Xavier says, sarcastically.

[Saturday, two days later]

Lepus lets out a shout, “What's wrong?” Hare asks. “I don’t know I’m peeing blood” lepus shouts, “Does it huwt?” Bunny asks, “No it doesn’t I’m just having extreme bleeding” lepus shouts, sarcastically.

 

“Oh ok” Bunny responds, “DUMBASS” lepus shouts “this hurts more than when Jiraiya died.”

 

“Lepus I think you are on your period” Rabbit says, “What oh god I forgot about that” Lepus says. “What's a pewiod?” Bunny asks, “It's when a girl bleeds out their Pussy” Hare answers. “Use more kid friendly terminology” Rabbit shouts, “they bleed out their hole instead of Pee?” hare says, confused.

 

“I need to pee” Bunny says, crying. “Huh so this is what that one nickelodeon character feels like” hare says, “LINCOLN LOUD” lepus shouts in clear agony.

 

“And somethings kicking me” lepus shouts “i think its the baby that is all hare’s fault”, “What?” Rabbit shouts in disgust “hare did you get Lepus pregnant” Rabbit asks. “No it’s hard to explain” hare says, “he let me get raped” lepus says.

 

“Because of more important stuff going on” hare says, “Like what?” Rabbit asks. “TF2-2 and GTA 6” hare says, “My god you are an asshole” Rabbit says grabbing his forehead. “Look it wasn’t on purpose i was just mesmerized by the commercial” Hare tries to explain himself.

 

“Can I play gta 6?” Bunny asks, “EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!” Lepus Demands “We need to get to Fairy and have her use a genderbend machine.”

 

Lepus, hare, bunny, and Rabbit get in the car “i really don’t want this baby to come out” Lepus says, worried.

 

[Fairy’s house]

Everybody knocks on Fairy’s mom's door, “hell- why is that kid bleeding?’ Fairy's mom asks. “Fuck off” Hare punches Fairy’s mom, “What the hell?” Lepus questions. “See fairy’s mom is knocked out” hare says proud of himself.

 

“You could’ve killed her,” Rabbit says, concerned. “Still better than your nonexistent plan” hare says. Rabbit, Hare, Lepus and Bunny burst into Fairy’s room.

 

“Get the fuck out my room I don’t have any clothes on except for you two Hare and Rabbit you can stay” Fairy says, “Our brother is pregnant and he needs to be a boy again” Hare shouts. “Yeah so funny thing umm the baby has to come out first” Fairy says, “Wait? What” lepus asks.

 

“If i turn you into a boy the baby will come out your dick” Fairy explains, “Can you do an abortion” Lepus shouts. “Sorry but I do not kill” Fairy responds “Goes against my morals”, “MORALS?” Hare shouts “YOU HAVE MORALS”, “Well yeah don’t you?” Fairy asks.

 

It remains silent, “Can you make this baby grow faster” Rabbit says, “Oh yeah” Fairy says “With these pills only take two a day or else the baby will become bigger than you and you’ll die”

 

Everybody gets back in the car “So how’s being a girl lepus?” hare asks, “I will not answer that question” lepus responds.

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