Chapter 9: The Hare Show – Ur Mom

Hare Thomas walks through the park when he bumps into his friend Cacrizarp. “Hey Cacrizarp” Hare says “Why are you eating Dogshit?” Hare asks. “Xavier told me if I want to blend in to human culture I need to eat Dogshit and let him record it” Cacrizarp Responds “However, I noticed more and more people are leaving this park.”

 

Hare chuckles a bit, and then spots Xavier behind a tree, “I’ll go talk to Xavier'' Hare informs Cacrizarp. “Bro this prank is hilarious, what did you think of it?” Hare asks, “Simple” Xavier says “Cacrizarp will do whatever it takes to adjust to human culture and I love pranks; this is a match made in heaven” Xavier chuckles, and then downloads the newly recorded video.

 

“Dude, Let’s keep Pranking Cacrizarp” Hare says, “But with what?” Xavier asks. “What's the worst thing we can do for a prank?” Hare asks as he strokes his chin. “Set him on fire and watch him burn, Shove hamsters down his throat, make him have sex with the superhero STD Man, put a blindfold on him give him shotgun have him walk into an o and tell him he’s in Fortnite.” Xavier responds.

 

“Why did you say that so nonchalantly” Hare asks, “Because I’ve done all that before” Xavier responds “Duh”, “That’s it, something completely non-lethal like a your mom joke” Hare says, “Dude a your mom joke” Xavier responds disgusted “Is this first-grade”, “No we can have Cacrizarp going around saying Your Mom Jokes it will be so hilarious” Hare shouts.

 

“No offense, but that’s tame and boring” Xavier puts down Hare’s idea, “But not every prank needs to be insane and wild” Hare states “Trust me this will be perfect.”

 

[Cacrizarp]

 

“Hello Cacrizarp we forgot to tell you the most important about american culture” Hare says “Your Mother Jokes'', “Your mother jokes?” Cacrizarp responds, puzzled. “Heres lets try one your mom is so retarded she concentrated on the orange juice label” Hare says “Now you try”, “Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale it said number not found” Cacrizarp shouts.

 

“Goddamn” Xavier says, under his breath, “Good job but use words like nigga, Faggot, Retard, and Honkey ya know just to add more emphasis on the greeting” Hare says, with a mischievous grin, “Alright” Cacrizarp says “Your mom is so white she would have sex with a horse.”, “He’s getting good really fucking good” Hare says.

 

[The next Day, school]

Cacrizarp, Hare, and Xavier walk to Mime during lunch time. “Hey mime your mom is so obese she doesn’t need the internet she’s already worldwide” Cacrizarp roasts Mime, as all the nearby kids look with shock. Mime puts on a disgusted face and slaps Cacrizarp across the face, flips up the middle finger then leaves.

 

“Did I make him mad?” Cacrizarp asks, “Huh oh no, that means hi as well he’s just mute” Hare responds. “Oh cool” Cacrizarp says joyfully and filled with glee.

 

[Montage]

 

“Your mom is such a ugly, she scared the retarded class” Cacrizarp Shouts. “Your mom’s such a slut that even the dudes in the gay bar has fucked her” Cacrizarp shouts. 

 

[Cacrizarps house]

Cacrizarp goes to house stares at his mom and then says “Your mom is so ugly that even R.Kelly wasn’t gonna touch her'', “What was that?” Cacrizarp’s mom asks. “Mom I said, Your mom is so ugly that even R.Kelly wasn’t gonna touch her” Cacrizarp shouts, “Who taught you that?” Cacrizarp mom shouts.

 

“Hare and Xavier” Cacrizarp informs her, “And where do these two live?” Cacrizarp's mother asks. 

 

[Hare’s bedroom, the next day]

“Dude Xavier this prank is hilarious” Hare says laughing, then suddenly a brick goes flying through their window with a note attached to it. “Stop being a bad influence on my son, and stop him from making your mom jokes” hare reads off the brick and sees a signature “Cacrizarp’s mom” he says at the end.

 

“Cacrizarps moms she’s a milf”  Xavier shouts “but I say we keep the prank going”, another brick goes flying through their window it reads “If you keep this prank going I will set your limbs on fire and sacrifice them to cthulhu while we dance on you”, “Ok we should probably end the prank” Hare says.

 

[Tomorrow at school]

 

“Cacrizarp there you are look we have important news about the your mom jokes” Hare shouts, nearly out of breathe. “What Hare?” Cacrizarp asks, “Dude the Your Mom jokes need to end right now, this is terrible and our lives are at risk” Hare explains, “but you said Your Mom jokes are an american greeting” Cacrizarp says, puzzled. “That was a p-” Hare’s mouth gets covered by Xavier “A P-party” Xavier says.

 

Hare turns around and grabs Xaviers shoulder “Dude what was that for you just cut me off mid-sentence” Hare asks angrily, “We can not tell him it's a prank until the prank ends” Xavier responds. “Then end the retarded ass prank” Hare shouts, “We can’t the prank can only end once something horrible happens and i shout “It’s just a prank bro” in a mocking and somewhat worried tone” Xavier explains.

 

“Dumbass we could die” Hare shouts, “Ok and? Many people have died because of a prank” Xavier responds. “I don’t want to i want to live, I haven’t even lived half my life yet” Hare Exclaims, “To be fair you’ve lived longer than jewish babies in the holocaust” Xavier shouts, smiling.

 

They exchange looks, Hare breaks the silence and says “What the hell is your problem” Hare shouts. “It was an analogy” Xavier says, ``They both turn back around with excitement. “Ok so -” Hare gets cut off again this time by Cacrizarp. “Yeah, I don’t really care you said there was a party Xavier when?” Cacrizarp asks. “Uhh saturday” Xavier says, “Good” Cacrizarp breathes in and then shouts “PARTY AT HARE THOMAS”S HOUSE, AT SATURDAY” Cacrizarp leaves.

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“You are the worst friend I ever Fucking had the displeasure of being with” Hare says, sternly. “How” Xavier responds, “great a party is coming up at my house on saturday, if I cancel it, then they will all beat us up, and Cacrizarps mom will set our limbs on fire and sacrifice them to cthulhu while she dances on us” Hare says “All because you can’t stop this stupid ass prank”

 

“In my defense” Xavier responds “You also wanted to do this prank, now we stick with it, till the end, and besides i have a plan”

 

[The Next Day]

“Please let your son attend Hare’s party this saturday we will get him to stop telling your mom jokes” Xavier begs, “That is oddly specific but alright” Cacrizarp mom says.

 

[the Next Day, Friday]

“Are you ready for the party?” Xavier asks, “Yeah I was able to get Rabbit out of the house, by putting him on a blind date with a girl from our school” Hare says. “Isn’t he 19” Xavier responds, “Don’t worry she's mentally mature” Hare says with a cockyness in his voice. “Alright did you get snacks?” Xavier asks.

 

“Yep, i have the snacks” Hare says “did you send the invites?”, “yep” Xavier says “Trust me we can end this perfectly”

 

[The Party, 5:00PM]

Hare and Xavier hides behind a table “What's your crazy plan” Hare asks, “The Plan is simple, Cacrizarp makes a your mom joke at Jamal, Jamal gets mad pulls out the M-9 and begins to shoot Cacrizarp, then I come out and shout “it's a prank bro” and then we are all happy” Xavier explains. “He could get Shot” Hare is shocked, “Well duh” Xavier says “but we end the prank.”

 

Cacrizarp walks up to Jamal.

 

“Hey Jamal” Cacrizarp says, “What nigga?” Jamal shouts. “Your mom is so fucking retarded she uses a iron to heat up her meals” Cacrizarp responds, “What you say bout my momma nigga” Jamal shouts, All the kids turn around. “Your mom is so fucking retarded she uses a iron to heat up her meals” Cacrizarp shouts.

 

Jamal frowns, grabs a gun and starts shooting Cacrizarp, Cacrizarp hides with Hare and Xavier. “Don’t say shit about my momma” Jamal demands, “How was that?” Cacrizarp asks, “I need to tell you this and listen closely” Xavier states “This was just a prank.”

 

“Oh a prank, that’s when Cthulhu comes down and starts giving away free toilet paper its a holiday” Cacrizarp explains, “No a prank in american terms is a practical joke your mom jokes aren’t a greeting, in fact they are rude and disrespectful” Xavier explains.

 

“Wait” Cacrizarp stops talking and then looks down “You guys tricked me”, “yeah” Xavier says “but don’t worry he won’t shoot you once I tell him the magical phase”

 

“It's just a prank bro” Xavier says, “I don’t care if it was just a prank you insulted my momma nigga”Jamal says, grabbing his gun tighter.

 

“Uhh Hare can you crossdress?” Xavier asks, “Yes I can sadly” Hare says. “Good, follow me into my grandma's house,” Xavier demands. They both run out the party, A bullet aimed at Cacrizarp goes flying but switches direction mid-air to hit eddy in the eye.

 

[Xavier grandma house]

 

“Hello young boys” Xavier grandma says, “We don’t have time” Xavier says.

 

Hare grabs lipstick, a blouse and a wig; then puts it on, and walks out the bathroom. “Oh my god” Xavier says shocked “You just gave me a boner”, “Weird-ass” Hare responds. They both run out of the house and back to the party.

 

[hares party]

 

“Jamal jerome” Hare shouts in a woman's voice, “Nigga who is you?” Jamal shouts. “I’m your great grandmother uhh Shaquisha, and if you shoot that Cacrizarp boy I will never forgive you” Hare says. All the other kids stand in confusion “Ewww its a old ass nigga woman” Joskin shouts, “Stop saying the n-word you are not black” Wendy says.

 

“But he insulted my momma” Jamal says, “I know, but this is pointless listen to me Jamal” Hare says, worried. Jamal puts down the gun “Fine I’ll go” he says. Jamal leaves the party and so does everyone else after him due to the weird ass scenario they just witnessed. 

 

“So it looks like we are friends again,” Xavier says, calmly. “Dude you nearly got us killed” Hare shouts, “I mean it was kinda funny” Cacrizarp giggles. “Dumbasses I’m never talking to y'all again”

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