My name was Charles. I was studying at University to become a scientist. And I had had enough. Enough bullshit.
...enough of my own bullshit, that is.
I woke up a week before the semester started and I felt like crap. I knew last night that I was going to feel like crap in the morning. It was so tempting to just go back to sleep and forget about everything for a little while longer. But... no. Enough bullshit right? That was what I said and that was how I was going to act. I hauled myself out of bed, grabbed my phone, and threw on some clothes. It was... what, 5am? But I was going to go for a run. I needed to do something-get out of the house.
Running was not a good idea. Motivational music was blaring through my ears but it didn't mean that harsh winter air went down into my lungs any easier. At least the view from the bridge was nice. Maybe this was a good time to catch my breath? Watch the sunrise?
"Haah.. ooh... Man, movies really make this whole 'pulling yourself up by your bootstraps' thing look a lot easier than it really is," I muttered between heaving breaths. I slid down against the railing on the side of the bridge. The pale dawn light streamed in between its dull red bars, illuminating their wear and tear; showing off where the wind and waves had stripped their coats until they were probably colder than I was.
It was nice, really. It made-I don't know it made it seem like maybe I could change things around. It wouldn't be easy but... yeah. I could do it.
I stood up, hands on the railing, and leaned out over the bay. I breathed in the chill morning air. Somehow, it felt invigorating rather than harsh. Like a slap on the back. A little painful, yeah, but congratulatory: supportive. I felt like I was going to make it bros. Like I could take on the world.
I leaned out further, lifting my hands off the bars to embrace the coming dawn. To praise the Sun and feel its heat fill my soul.
I was going to make a life for myself and God dammit I wasn't going to let anyone get in my way. Even if I had to move Heaven and Earth I'd fucking do it.
"FUCK YEAH!" I shouted, gazing up to the sky.
Oh shit, was there somebody up there? Shit, there was. And they weren't a construction worker or anything like that either. They were leaning straight out. Jesus Christ they were going to jump.
I snapped my fingers repeatedly to try and get myself to figure out what to do. Think Charlie think. My phone was still playing music and I really didn't need the distraction...-Crap, my phone! I pulled it out and began to dial emergency services when I heard a distant shout-a scream, carried on the winter wind. I couldn't make out what they said but I could hear the misery in their voice. I looked up from my phone just as they leapt out from the bridge and out over to the water.
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I wasn't thinking. At least not with words. This was not going to go well for them.Half-remembered factoids danced through my mind at light speed, urging me to take action.
"Most people regret attempting suicide as soon as they make a genuine attempt."
"People that jump from bridges rarely die on impact. The impact is usually very painful and leaves them with many broken bones. Instead, most victims drown: unable to get help in time."
"Mental health problems are extremely common amongst emergency workers that have to clean up after successful suicide attempts. The same goes for family members and close friends of the victim."
Then there was the weirdest thought of all,
"...I could totally catch them."
I leaned straight out, as far as I could go. I only realized I dropped my phone into the bay because it ripped my headphones out along with it. Come on... please let them be close enough...
Then the collision. I had never felt so unbalanced and front heavy in my entire life (so far). I scrabbled, desperate to hold onto them-her, I realised belatedly. Muscles tensed and strained as the railing bit deep into my flesh. I yelled out, and put everything I had into holding keeping us both from going over.
To an outsider, it would've seemed like everything happened in a split second. But I could only feel that slow, gradual tilting over the side. Like the passage of glaciers crashing into the sea, our end was suddenly inevitable. Maybe there was some point where I could've let her go and saved myself but I couldn't tell-and I probably didn't want to know.
We went over, tumbling into the waves. I wondered if I would be lucky enough to die on impact. I was going headfirst, just like my unfortunate companion. I glanced to her, just before we hit. She was... smiling? Like some kind of anime villain too. I heard her whisper something; impossibly fast and impossibly loud. "Just as planned". Wow she was kind of hot, in an insane kind of way. What the fu-?
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