Chapter 18: Chapter 18: Auriel 

The Hero Became a Mousegirl
Chapter 18: Auriel 

 

After we finished soaking in the hot spring, Myra went to her room for a nap, and I began to search the manor for Auriel. I finally found her in the library curled up between two bookshelves, a dusty tome open in her lap. 

“What’cha reading?” 

“Eh?!” Auriel jumped, tossing her book across the room. “C-Caelan, why are you here?” 

“I came looking for you, I was hoping we could be friends.” 

“Why?” Auriel gazed at me with a fragile expression. As if I’d come to hurt her.

“Myra spoke fondly of you, I guess I just wanted to be friends with the girl my new sister regards so highly.” 

“Myra would speak highly of a worm if it said it didn’t care that she was a goblin.”

“That’s a little harsh don’t you think?” I asked picking up the book Auriel had been reading. “Myra’s a good judge of character, I’m certain there is more to it than you being able to accept a goblin as a friend.” 

“Just leave me alone,” Auriel huffed before storming out of the library. 

“The Terrors of the Sorcerer’s Plague,” I muttered the title of the book Auriel had been reading. “This is probably not a book normal people read for fun.” 

Laying the book down upon a nearby table I left the library in search of Auriel once again. Though part of me seriously believed the best course of action was to just wait and let Auriel calm down, another part of me refused. It was starting to become clear to me that Auriel was hurting, and if there was a way that I could help, I wanted to make sure I did. Nobody deserved to suffer alone. 

Traveling upstairs I began to stick my head into the bedrooms one by one, hoping I’d find Auriel hiding out inside one. Luckily I found her on my third try, sitting beneath a window hugging her knees. “Hi again.” 

“I can’t get away from you.” 

“Not if you’re getting away to do this, mind telling me what happened? I know I’m a complete stranger to you, but maybe that’ll make it easier. This way you don’t have to worry about the people you care for freaking out.” 

“Mom hates humans,” Auriel mumbled. “She won’t say anything mean to them, if anything she’s kinder to the humans she meets than she is to anyone else. But deep down she hates them, humans destroy everything.” 

“And you fell in love with a human?” I asked taking a seat beside her. 

“No,” Auriel shook her head before pausing and staring blankly at the wall. “At least… I don’t think I did.” 

“You don’t think you did?” 

“Yeah… I just… something happened and now I’m all messed up.”

“What happened Auriel?  You can trust me.” 

“I-I started having dreams, vivid dreams. They’re like memories, it feels like I’m reliving something that’s already happened, but I’m not me. Everyone in my dreams feels so familiar to me but when I’m awake none of them are here.”

“Are you human in your dreams?” 

“No, I’m not. But my friends are. The people I care about most are almost all human, and they’re fighting… demons?… and dying, I’ve seen so many of them die. It’s terrible, I wake up and sob for people who don’t even exist.”

“What if they did exist? Do you think it is possible you’re reliving the memories of a past self?” 

“I hope not,” Auriel chuckled wryly. “The dream me is a male dwarf.” 

“Bahram…” 

As soon as the name slipped past my lips Auriel turned and gazed at me in horror. “You’re a mind reader?” 

“What?! No.” 

“How do you know that name?!” 

“It’s… there is a lot to explain but I swear it was just a guess.” 

“How can I trust you?!” 

“Because I’m Caelan. If you have Bahram’s memories, you have to have memories of Caelan—chosen hero of Eynhilda. That’s me, though there are no gods these days so the hero thing is over.” 

“You’re… the same Caelan?” 

“Surprise, this is what I always wanted. Kaphis is here with me too, I’m surprised you didn’t run into them as you went skulking about the manor.” 

“This is what you wanted? I don’t understand.” 

“I guess Bahram died before it happened. There was an incident after the emperor gave me permission to make a wish on the imperial family’s sacred relic. Long story short, it killed me and I woke up here, like this.” 

“And you’re happy with it?” 

“I am. Are you unhappy?” 

“I just… I don’t want these drea– memories. They’re driving me crazy, I’m me… not Bahram, but I can’t make them stop. I’m terrified that they’re changing me, that I’m becoming a completely different person.” 

“Is that why you’re trying to push Myra away? You’re afraid you’re not the Auriel she remembers?” 

“I already messed up around mom,” Auriel sniffled as tears began to trickle down her cheeks. “She said something bad about humans and I snapped at her. These… I have no reason to feel like this, I have no reason to be angry at her. This isn’t right.” 

“I don’t think you messed up. Ronna’s worried about you, it’s obvious she loves you and just wants what is best for you. Something as small as your newfound positive opinion of humans isn’t going to change how she feels I’m sure.” 

Auriel nodded before laying her head on my shoulder, quietly crying. After a while she sat up and wiped at her eyes, “Thank you, Caelan.”

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“Don’t mention it, it wasn’t too long ago that I had a breakdown of my own. If it wasn’t for Myra I don’t know where I’d be. We all need friends sometimes.” 

“These memories are going to make it impossible to get a boyfriend.” 

“Why?” 

“Just… I know how sleazy guys really are now. Even in the midst of war Bahram went out of his way to peek on his female companions any chance he got. It’s all so creepy, especially when I’m seeing it all through his eyes. Men are the worst.” 

“Ahahaha,” I giggled nervously, “I’m pretty sure that was just Bahram. There are upstanding men, I’m sure.”

“Have you met any?” 

“I think I’m gay, so no, I haven’t tried.” 

“You could be like my mom, and go for both. She tries to hook up with every cute girl she meets, even though she’s still married to my dad.” 

“That sounds… stressful.” 

“Really? I always admired her for it. Letting love carry her along, without worrying about customs or what others might think.” 

“I’m still working on getting my first girlfriend ever, I don’t even want to think about having others.” 

“First girlfriend ever huh?” Auriel giggled. “So the great hero in my dreams died a virgin?” 

“Ah,” I stuttered as my faced warmed with embarrassment. “Yeah.” 

“Cute.” 

“I don’t like that mocking look in your eyes. Forget Bahram’s memories, have you already… done that?” 

“Done what Caelan?” Auriel purred teasingly. 

“You know what I’m talking about.” 

Auriel giggled. “I do, but it’s fun teasing you. Umm, I haven’t. But I’m still a kid by Catkin standards, so others of my race wouldn’t think of me like that, not for a couple more years. Only humans think of me as an adult.” 

“And humans are off the table huh?” 

“Not completely, but dating one would make everything more complicated. Plus I don’t like the idea of outliving someone I love by several decades.” 

“Ah, that would be painful.” 

“Maybe I’ll date Myra,” Auriel hummed.

“I thought you said you were looking for a boyfriend?!” 

“I said it was impossible to get a boyfriend, I never said I wasn’t into girls too. Besides Mom would love it if me and Myra got together.” 

I gazed at Auriel in shock. Somehow I’d gone from helping out a friend in distress to acquiring my first romantic rival. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t want Auriel to date Myra, but I couldn’t tell her to stay away, they were friends. Besides it was Myra’s choice who she dated, if Auriel won her over, there was nothing I could do. 

“You okay Caelan?”

“Hmm? Yeah, sorry. I just… didn’t realize you had feelings for Myra.” 

“I mean, I didn’t say I had feelings for her. I’ve known her since I was nine years old, she’s like family. Still Mom’s brought up the idea of Myra and me dating before. So, it isn’t like the thought’s never crossed my mind. What about you Caelan, do you have feelings for Myra?” 

“Yeah,” I surprised myself with how quickly I answered Auriel’s question. Ever since I met Myra I had struggled against how she made me feel. She was upbeat to the point of stupidity and far too trusting. Being around her stressed me out, and at the same time, made me happier than I ever had been. That was all before I learned she was Elise, a revelation that made me feel even more kinship with her. “I really love her.” 

“Does she know?” 

“Of course not.” 

“Why do you say that like it’s a given? You’re old enough, if you like her, tell her.”

“I’m not ready.”

“Well, you better get ready,” Auriel grinned. “Because I promise, if I ever develop proper feelings for her, I’m going to tell her immediately. I’ll take Myra for myself if you’re not careful.” 

“There’s no way a kitten with Bahram’s memories is going to take Myra from me.”  

“Is that a challenge?” 

“Yeah, it is. Myra cares for me, I know she’ll wait for me to be ready. There’s no way Myra will agree to date you.” 

“Oh it’s on,” Auriel giggled as she stood. “Now then, I should probably see if my mom needs any help. Thank you Caelan.” 

“You know you could thank me by letting me win.” 

“Not a chance.” 

Auriel giggled at me before strolling out of the room, wiping at her eyes one last time as she went. I watched her go, waiting until I was alone to sigh and rest my head against the wall. “Bahram… and Elise.” We’d lost both of them in our final battle with the Fell Dragon, I’d been alive to see them put in their graves. It couldn’t be coincidence that they’d both been reincarnated, nor that I found them. Even now that the scepter was gone, its magic had to have a hand in ensuring the reincarnates were in places I could stumble into them. 

“The only person we’re missing now is Mischa,” I muttered remembering my final party member, the Oracle of Rosetheryn. Mischa had a mastery of Holy Magic that far surpassed my own, if she’d been resurrected like I had been, she could’ve bent the whole world around her finger. Sadly for her, Myra had already made it clear that reincarnates didn’t obtain the class of their precursors. Which also left me with the question, what class is Auriel? 

The answer to the question didn’t matter, but my mind had already started playing a daydream of us traveling together. The Hero’s Party reborn, protecting the world from a reincarnated Stelryus. It put my heart at ease to think about. As terrible as it would be for the world, the fires of war had always given me my purpose, without them I still didn’t know what to make of myself. 

“No matter what, I need to get stronger,” I said slapping the sides of my face. “Auriel might be too weak to rely on, and Mischa might be wherever the gods fled to. I can’t plan for them to stay beside me. Maybe I should try to recruit Syene…” 

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