Chapter 31: Chapter 30: Literal Results

“Caelan, time to wake up, sleepyhead,” The blond woman from the night before stepped into my room. Smiling at me she made her way to my bedside and leaned forward to pet my head. “How are you feeling?” 

“Confused.” How could someone who acted so kind be manipulating me, like this? I couldn’t help but worry that perhaps I was about to make a mistake. 

“It’s okay to be confused. It won’t be long now and we’ll have that terrible spirit gone and you’ll be back to your sweet sensitive self.” 

“Promise?” 

“I promise. For as long as you live, Caelan, I’ll protect you. You’re my treasure.” 

“Then why are you lying to me?” 

“Wha?” The blond woman frowned. “Is that spirit speaking to you now? She’s lying Caelan. She’s the one who wants to hurt you, not me.” 

“How, How can I be certain?”

“Look into your heart Caelan, I know you’ll see things my way.” 

“No,” I trembled, clenching my hands into fists. Deep inside me a magic unlike my own swirled. It grew hot, and rumbled throughout me like a raging storm. “My heart says you’re wrong.” 

“Caelan I…” 

Thrusting my fist into the woman’s shoulder I allowed the volatile magic inside me to leap into her. “Tell me the truth!” 

“Wha,” the woman stumbled backward, as steam rose from her flesh. Hugging herself she collapsed to her knees, her cries giving way to a violent fit of coughing. “Breathe… I have to breathe.” 

Two tiny bumps appeared atop the blond woman’s head before they broke free of her hair. Before me the two fleshy mounds warped into feline ears, covering themselves in fur the color of her hair. Then a long agile tail sprouted from her back, tearing her clothing as it did. 

“What…” I blinked and watched in shock as the woman’s body continued to morph. She rapidly decreased in physical age until she appeared to be hardly old enough to dress herself. 

“Caelan…” The blond wo–catkin child squeaked out my name. “What have you done?” 

“I was told to turn you into a kitten, and so… I guess that’s what I did.” 

“You fool. Now you’ll never get your memories back. I can’t reverse what I did to you if I am no longer a vampire.” 

“You shouldn’t have been messing with my memories to begin with! Now, who are you? Why are you messing with me?” 

The catkin stood, clutching her now oversized clothing to her body. “I am Cesarina Flora Kalreya, Grand Sorcerer of the Spellcaster’s Guild. And you Caelan… you have the power to free us from centuries of suffering, but we weren’t your priority.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I’m talking about you Caelan. The power you possess is something foreign to our world. I need it, I need you. I never lied, I really will protect you Caelan, you truly are my treasure. I only ever intended to steer you in the right direction, to fix your priorities to suit the needs of many. If Eyrina hadn’t involved herself I would’ve given you everything. A loving family, a home, a normal life. All I asked in return is that you acted on my behalf to free others from the tyranny of the crown.” 

“This… it’s still wrong. You can’t mess with other people’s minds.” 

“You say that, and yet there were so many memories you were repressing. So many things about yourself you refused to pay attention to, wounds in your heart that had festered to the point they couldn’t be healed. You clinged to your role as the hero, because it was all you had. Even as you surrounded yourself with others who loved you, nothing they did could free you from yourself. I know Caelan, I personally observed every single memory in that little head of yours. You’ve suffered, and I fixed that. I erased the pain, and gave you what your heart needed most.” 

“No. You’re mad if you think erasing people’s memories is helping them.” 

“Yeah?  And yet YOU asked me to erase the memories of someone else you held dear, Caelan. You asked me to study spells to eliminate all the memories related to her past life, because you believed that would be better for her. I offered you the same curtsy, and now you’re a hypocrite.” 

“You didn’t offer me anything!” 

“Didn’t I? Even if there was no verbal agreement, after seeing what you kept bottled up inside, I knew this was the best. How do you know this isn’t what you wanted for yourself?” 

“Because…” 

“Because, Eyrina told you? That filthy spirit is a carbon copy of the goddess who abused you Caelan. The goddess responsible for you being adopted into a family of warriors who saw you as nothing more than a weapon. The goddess who knew the pain in your heart and refused to use her power to fix it. I’m the only true ally you have.” 

“No…” 

Cesarina sighed before hopping up onto the foot of my bed. “I should’ve expected Eyrina would protect you. Now I’m trapped as this… minuscule thing, ugh. If I were still a demon I could clone myself but no, if I moved my mind into the other body my level would reset. Actually, if I cloned myself now, my clone would look like the current me. Ah… I have no idea what to do.” 

“How do I get my memories back?” 

“That’s a question for your goddess, I have no idea. I planned for so many different problems, but this… is beyond the scope of what I could’ve prepared for.”

“Then send me home. I’ll deal with my memories when I can.” 

“Alright,” Cesarina sighed and hopped off the bed. “Just chill out here, I’ll be back later. I need to find another way to make you obedient.” 

“I’ll never obey you.” 

“Ah,” Cesarina covered her mouth with her hand, gazing at me wide-eyed. “Seems your magic did more than just alter my body. Seriously, fuck Eyrina, I hate her.” 

“I did tell you to tell me the truth,” I hummed. “Then everything you’ve said so far, were your honest feelings?” 

“Yeah.”

“What am I to you Cesarina? Just a useful tool?” 

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Cesarina sighed. “You’re a kindhearted buffoon. You have the kind of personality that draws other people to you, even though you lack the social intelligence to realize you’re doing it. The moment I saw your power, I knew I had to have you, even if that meant breaking you. But the more time we spent together, the more I found myself starting to care. I had to break you, for something greater than the both of us, but I also wanted to take care of you. I wanted to give you the family you never had. But I guess I can’t do that now.” 

“You’re giving up?”

“If I can’t lie to you, then there is no point. You’ve got bigger problems Caelan, mine just aren’t worth your attention.” 

“I’m sure… your problems meant something to me Cesarina.” 

“Perhaps. But by the time you were ready to help me, you’d already be dead. Or maybe you’d be so enthralled with your love life with the goblin you wouldn’t be willing to travel around the kingdom with me. Whatever it was, I knew something would get in my way.” 

“My love life… with a goblin?” 

“Yup. You’re in love with a goblin Caelan. Luckily for you, she’s got a decent head on her shoulders. Though I guess that goes without saying, since she’s a reincarnation herself.” 

“This conversation is making my head hurt,” I grumbled, rubbing my temples. 

“Well… I’m sure you’ll figure out how to get your memories back. Now then, I’m going to leave before you have my share anything else.” Cesarina walked over to the door before frowning. The doorknob was high enough that even with her hand outstretched she couldn’t reach it. To turn the knob, she’d have to jump, and that would require her to be willing to allow her clothing to fall to the floor before her. 

“Umm… I’ll let you out.” Getting out of bed I felt a bit uneasy on my feet, though I was more surefooted than the night before. Making my way to the door I opened it to allow Cesarina to leave, the tiny catkin sighing in frustration as she shuffled down the hallway.

“Caelan.” 

“Eyrina… I ugh, I did it. I turned her into a kitten.” 

“You did. I must admit, I did not intend for you to take my words quite so literally. But we have something else to discuss.” 

“About my memories?” 

“Yes. Though the wish magic I gave you to deal with Cesarina could restore them, it is dangerous. Before we resort to that, I’d like for you to investigate another way.” 

“Is it… something I can do in my current state?” 

“Without a vampire feeding on you, your coordination should return in time. Once you’re well enough to travel, go to the Empire of Orvost in the north. There you will need to do whatever you can to meet with the Empress Kaia, her magic can undo the modifications Cesarina made to your mind.” 

“Understood.” 

“And Caelan.” 

“Yes?” 

“Try to avoid trouble. Without your memories, you won’t be able to use the whole of your power. As loathe as I am to suggest it, you should take Cesarina with you if you can convince her to travel at your side.” 

 That night, a woman named Aivi, who bore a striking resemblance to Cesarina came to get me. She offered to bring me dinner in bed, before noting that if I was up for it, Cesarina wanted to have dinner with me in the dining room. Since I had to talk to her anyway, I agreed and followed Aivi to the dining table, where Cesarina was seated on a stack of books so that she could reach the tabletop. 

“Don’t laugh,” Cesarina side eyed me, as a giggle escaped my throat. 

“Sorry, sorry. You’re just so cute.” 

“Yes. This is my punishment for what I did to you, I deserve it, I know. But still… at least wait till you are alone in your room before laughing at me, please.” 

“I already laughed at her… a lot,” Aivi mentioned before taking her seat at the table. 

“Yeah… it was depressing,” Cesarina pouted. “The first true emotion she shows is amusement as my pint-sized predicament.” 

“Is Aivi… normally reserved?” 

“Yes, or rather she was. After she had a good laugh she’s begun to show all sorts of emotions. I’d be excited if I weren’t the catalyst for it all.” 

“So umm, Cesarina,” I began as Aivi filled my plate. 

“Rina. Just call me Rina.” 

“Okay… umm, Rina. I need to travel to the Empire of Orvost, will you come with me?” 

“No.” 

“Ah, okay.” I wanted to retort and make a case for her traveling at my side, but I couldn’t honestly think of anything to say. I’d turned her into a child, a very small child, and ruined whatever plans she had for me. It was natural she’d be salty, though she absolutely did deserve everything that was happening to her. At least, in my opinion she did. 

Cesarina sighed. “Two days from now, a dozen people are coming to see you. They’re coming to have their bands removed. Do that for me, and I’ll come with you to Orvost.” 

“Thank you.” 

“And I’m coming too,” Aivi smiled. “You’re gonna need an adult after all.” 

“Aivi…” Cesarina hissed. “I’m going to pull out your hair while you sleep.” 

For Aivi’s sake, I hoped that I was the only one Cesarina couldn’t lie to.