Chapter 6: Chapter 6: Bubbling Forth

The Hero Became a Mousegirl
Chapter 6: Bubbling Forth

 

“Were you aware that there were goblins like Myra,” I asked. Keeping my voice low as I sat at the table. A dim oil lamp the only source of light in the room. Giving me yet another taste of how things had changed for me.

Even with only a dim light I could make out everything around me with far more clarity than I could’ve as a human. Rendering the blessing of light spell I’d used frequently in my past almost unnecessary.

“There was no record of such thing before I began my isolation.”

“I wonder if she is unique among her kind? Perhaps that is why Syene said she felt morally responsible for her.”

“We could always ask. They’ve said nothing to give me the opinion they are hiding the information.”

“I don’t want to be rude,” I chuckled laying my head against the table’s edge. “Not until we know more about what is normal and what is not.”

“Perhaps tomorrow we should divide ourselves. See what we can find. You can spend time with your new mother and sister, and I’ll tour the city.”

“Seriously Kaphis, you’re stressing me out with how insistent you are that Syene is now my mother. And I want to tour the city with you. I want to see what has become of this place in the centuries I was gone.”

“No.”

“No?”

“We do not know which districts are hazardous. I cannot allow you to follow me Caelan.”

“I’m strong enough to protect myself.”

“You are forty-one levels lower than your predecessor. Do not pretend to be as competent as he was.”

Gasping at Kaphis I gazed at my companion, unable to speak. They’d made it clear they found my claims of being reincarnated to be outlandish. Even mentioning that they thought of me as if I were my own daughter.

However this was the first time, where it sounded as if they’d fully divorced the idea of the hero Caelan from me. Even their tone no longer had an air of counsel offered by a friend. Kaphis’s words carrying instead the demeanor of an adult chastising a child.

“I am still Caelan,” I said the hurt I felt betrayed by my inflection. “Even if my level is lower, I still carry all of my experiences with me. There is no ruffian who could get the better of me.”

Kaphis sighed. “I did say I would act as if I believed you. Even then… Caelan—you died once already. Please don’t be so hasty to have me dig you a second grave. Let me protect you.”

“For now,” I surrendered. “I’ll let you. But do not expect to keep me away from conflict for long. Battle is all I know.”

“Very well. But for now, you should rest. Sweet dreams Caelan.”

“Yeah yeah,” I grumbled grabbing the oil lamp. “Goodnight Kaphis.”

I trudged out of the dining room and up the staircase. Slipping into the bedroom Syene has graciously given me. Stopping at the doorway I gazed in surprise at my new bed, upon which Myra now sat.

“I thought you were asleep,” I noted stepping into the room to place my lamp down on an end table.

“I was worried you might be having difficulty sleeping,” Myra smiled, showing off her razor-like teeth. “So I brought you something. Only you weren’t here.”

“So you waited?”

“Would you have been happier if I intruded upon your private conversations?”

“No. I appreciate the concern you’ve shown me Myra.”

Reaching behind herself Myra held out a small plush rabbit. It’s fabric worn and the stitching loose. I gazed in confusion at the plush toy, my thoughts suddenly awash in memories I didn’t want to relive.

“Caelan, you are the hero. You must carry with you an air of confidence and composure. Can you imagine what would happen if one of our soldiers saw you with such a childish bauble.”

One of Mother Kubarev’s birth daughters had given me an eerily similar plush rabbit. A small sign of affection from a sister I was hardly given the chance to know. After she’d stumbled upon me sobbing by myself.

It was hardly in my possession for a month when Mother Kubarev found it. She forced me to follow her into the yard where she incinerated it with her magic. Telling me all about how I was a symbol for the military. How I had to project strength at every moment. Even when I believed no one was watching.

Myra’s arms wrapping around me saved me from spiraling further. I suddenly felt so heavy, as if an unbearable weight had been placed upon me. Laying my head on Myra’s shoulders I stood there, trying desperately to bottle the memory back up.

“I’m sorry,” Myra whispered to me. Wiping my eyes with the back of her hand. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“You didn’t,” I forced myself to reply. “I just… had a very similar doll when I was younger. And my mother destroyed it.”

“That’s terrible. Why would she do that?”

“She wanted a warrior,” I sighed slipping free of Myra’s grasp to collapse onto my bed. “What of your mother Myra?”

“I have no memories of her,” Myra smiled sitting down beside me. Slipping the plush rabbit into my hands. “I woke up in the woods nine years ago, with no memory of who I was. Lucky me I ran into Syene and she took me in. She’s the closest thing to a mother I can remember having, though she never called herself that. Not until you showed up.”

“When did you get the rabbit?”

“I made it. I wanted to gain the sewing skill to repair a dress Syene had bought me. So I started sewing little things with whatever old cloth I could scrounge together. So, if you like it, it’s yours. You’re not taking anything with sentimental value from me.”

“Thank you,” I cradled the little bunny against me. Fretting a bit that I might be too old for stuffed toys. Especially since everyone already confused me for a child just based on my height. It wouldn’t bode well for me if my actions reinforced those notions. Still, just holding it filled a hole in my heart I hadn’t realized even existed.

“You’re welcome,” Myra stood up, walking a few steps away before turning to smile at me. “Say Caelan. I need to go pick up my blunderbuss from the gunsmith tomorrow. Would you like to tag along? I could treat you to some sweets.”

“Sure,” I replied tilting my head to the side. “But… what is a blunderbuss?”

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“It’s similar to a musket though it fires a spray of tiny metal shot instead of a single bullet.”

“Musket?”

“Have… you never seen a firearm?”

“Not that I know of.”

“The things all the guards in the city carry? The long metal tubes, those are muskets.”

“Oh! So that’s what you call those things. I’d love to go with you, I was curious how they cast magic with such strange staffs.”

“Magic… Caelan,” Myra giggled and shook her head at me. “A musket shares more similarities with a bow than it does with spell-casting.”

“Huh?”

“Oh you pitiful little mouse. You must have grown up somewhere very remote! Don’t worry Caelan, I’ll take the time to teach you.”

“Ah, please do.”

“Goodnight,” Myra waved and slipped out of my room.

Once she was gone I undressed and put out my lamp. Curling up under my blankets with my new plush rabbit clutched tightly in my arms.

I was awoken the next morning by a knock at my door. Without thinking much of it, I mumbled permission for the pesky knocker to enter. Sitting up to greet them.

“Good morning Caelan,” Syene said as she stepped into the room. “Did you sleep well?”

“Well enough,” I yawned rubbing at my eyes.

“Anything you need? Warmer blankets, more pillows, I could pick it up on my way home this evening.”

“I’m fine.”

“Well let me know if you think of anything. I’m going to put the fake band on you now okay? Is the left arm still good?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay wonderful.” Syene pulled my arm into her lap, quickly slipping the fake band over my hand. Tightening it down around the center of my forearm. “There we go, all done.”

“Good,” I nodded looking down at my arm to inspect my new accessory. Suddenly discovering that I’d been naked this entire time.

“Ah!” I squeaked hiding myself under the blankets. “Syene why didn’t you tell me I was naked.”

“I kind of thought you knew,” Syene smiled awkwardly. Her cheeks taking on a pinkish hue. “Since it didn’t seem to bother you I just went along with it.”

“Oh! Caelan’s awake!” Myra smiled slipping into my room. “I have a really cute dress for you to wear today Caelan.”

“Both of you out!” I shouted pulling the blankets over my head.

“What’s wrong?!”

“She’s embarrassed that she forgot she went to bed naked.”

“Oh! I want to see Caelan naked,” Myra said mischievously. Causing my face to grow so hot I felt as if I would boil from my own embarrassment.

“Please… leave.”

“Come on Myra, don’t antagonize her.”

“Aww. I’m sitting the dress on the foot of your bed Caelan. Once you’re dressed we can leave. I’ll be waiting downstairs.”

After it sounded as if the two of them had left I peeked out from under the blankets before finally getting out of bed. Being exposed to others was a reality of life when I was a man. We were lucky to bathe in rivers, the idea of a private bath on the front lines was ridiculous.

Still at least I knew to expect it during those times. I was mentally prepared to expose myself long before I took my clothing off. This time, I was completely off guard. Though perhaps I shouldn’t have reacted so strongly to it. After all the potential witnesses were supposedly my mother and sister.

Chastising myself for my reaction I gazed at the dress Myra had brought for me. It was a reddish-pink color with white lace and pastel pink ribbons. Gawking at it I couldn’t help but think that Myra was somehow aware that I hadn’t always been female. Otherwise why would she have chosen the most feminine piece of clothing to ever exist?

“She has to be taunting me,” I grumbled grabbing my discarded shirt off the floor. Dressing myself in the shirt and trousers I’d taken from the treasure room I made for the door. Stopping to glance back at the dress laying at the foot of my bed.

“Perhaps Myra would be sad if I didn’t wear it,” I argued aloud to myself. “After she gave me the rabbit it would be rude not to wear something she picked out.”

“No no,” I shook my head violently. “Keep your wits about you Caelan. You’re a girl now, but that doesn’t mean you can just start wearing frilly things. You’re the hero after all.”

Those words. You’re the hero. The moment I said them aloud a sour feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. That was why I wasn’t allowed to have toys. That was why I was forced to train until I collapsed each day. That was why I spent thirteen years on the battlefield.

“What do I even want?” I sighed gazing at the dress. Eynhilda’s figment had told me my present form was exactly what I was wishing for. At the time I’d refused to believe it. But was I refusing? Or had I become so indoctrinated in my training as the hero, that I refused compulsively.

Did I want to wear dresses? It felt as if my mind was ready to go to war with itself for the answer. But I didn’t have time for that. Instead, I stepped forward and lifted the dress into my hands.

“Just wear it Caelan… For Myra’s sake.”