A few days later, Yuna was still in that abandoned warehouse struggling to use the magic within her. Laurel had brought a soft, fluffy carpet for the ground so that Yuna had an area to sit on while Laurel could watch from the couch as she was doing right now.
“Lost it again?” Laurel asked, laying on her stomach with her hands popping her head up.
Yuna let out a sigh as uncrossed her legs and laid on the ground.
“What happened this time?”
“I don’t know,” she said, frustrated. “It just slipped out from my grasp like always. I can’t get it to obey me.”
Laurel hummed to herself as she set her head down on the arm of the couch, her eyes locked onto Yuna with a sharp gaze. Yuna replayed what had happened in her mind, trying to find where it went wrong. She could feel the light now when she pushed hard enough. For the past two days, she had been trying to go beyond that and tap into this new magic.
‘But I just can’t seem to do it.’
“Are you following my advice?” Laurel asked. “I know I ask that a lot, but it’s pretty common in my experience for students to revert to their old habits.”
“I followed it,” Yuna replied. “I’m certain I did. It just doesn’t seem to be working for me.”
“Well, what are you trying to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“What are you trying to use your magic for? The spell,” Laurel clarified. “Healing, shielding, anything.”
“I’m trying to make a shield,” Yuna said. “I’ve done it before, so I think it would be the easiest for me to try and do again. At least, I thought.”
“No, you’re on the right track. It’s important to look back and see what happened during that time to trigger your innate magic and instincts,” Laurel reassured her with a smile. “Remember, Yuna. The strongest emotions you have are the ones that draw out the magic. So what did you feel?”
Yuna brought up the memory of that day. Yuki had just exhausted herself protecting Yuna and possibly hundreds if not thousands of lives by defeating the seven headed hydra. Then the Fiddler swooped in and announced that he would be taking her away. That was when the shield was made.
“The main thing I felt was panic,” she said slowly. “A very strong surge of panic.”
“And why’s that?”
“Well. Someone dear to me was about to be taken. Kidnapped.”
“So you panicked and made the shield.”
“That’s what happened,” Yuna nodded.
“To protect this person.”
“I think so.”
“Then there you go,” Laurel smiled, sitting up. “Your urge to protect this person was so strong that it triggered your magic and followed what you wanted. It took the form that would be best suited for the task based on your command. The light made a shield to stop anyone from touching your friend.”
Yuna listened to Laurel’s words in silence. She was probably right. Yuki had recommended her doing the same with her memories of that day, but she had forgotten.
“But how do I recreate that?” Yuna wondered out loud.
“I don’t want you to recreate it,” Laurel replied. “I just want you to use that as reference. Emotions work. What I recommended with the memories is a way for you to tap into those emotions and get in touch with your light.”
“I don’t know what to do after that. I touch it, but it just doesn’t obey,” Yuna sighed. “I tell it to do something and it slips from my control.”
“Yuna, it only slips when you slip. The light’s only purpose is to help you. Think of it like a pet. It can’t understand your words, but it can understand what you want and what you feel. It will only slip away when your intentions aren’t strong enough for it.”
“Are you saying that I’m not feeling enough?” Yuna frowned.
“No. You clearly are if you can feel your magic. You’re using your memories, correct?”
“Yes.”
“How exactly are you using them?”
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“Well, I just recall times that made me feel happy and then look around while I feel happy,” Yuna said. “I don’t know if that’s the right way to do it.”
“What happens when you try to use your magic while recalling your memories?” Laurel asked. “Do you forget to do one or the other?”
“Hmm.”
Now that she thought about it, that did seem to be what was happening. When she tried to use magic, those memories faded away and the emotions they brought up faded with them.
“So that’s what happens, I see,” Laurel said, reading Yuna’s expression. “Do you think you can keep those memories going while doing magic?”
“No,” Yuna said with a shake of her head. “That wouldn’t be possible. My memories are short.”
The longer her memories went, the more likely they would begin to darken. Her happiest memories were never by themselves. There was always something right beyond it that would sour them.
“Can you think of more memories? If we can’t have long memories, maybe you can use many memories.”
“I don’t have that many,” Yuna said quietly.
“I see. That’s fine. Let’s go with another route,” Laurel decided. “If we can’t use memories, then we’ll need to use something else that can bring up the same emotional response.”
“Like what?”
“Well, things you like. Things you hold dear to yourself. Remember, when you used that shield it was because you wanted to protect someone you cared for. It wasn’t because of memories. So, we can do the same here.”
‘It’s worth a shot,’ Yuna thought.
“So what do we do?” she asked.
“Find someone or something you hold dear. Then think of that thing or person while you are trying to use your magic. For instance, if you have a necklace a loved one gave you or a ring, you can focus on those as a way to channel your magic.”
“Someone I hold dear,” Yuna repeated. “I’ll try.”
“I’ll be here if you need some help,” Laurel smiled.
‘Someone I hold dear.’
A few years ago, she wouldn’t be able to name anyone. But now she had friends and family. She had people she wanted to protect and people she wanted to be with. However, she knew there was one person that meant the most to her.
She took a deep breath and focused herself. In her mind, she pictured Yuki. She remembered everything. She remembered all the times Yuki was there to comfort her, help her, and laugh with her. Without Yuki, Yuna would never have changed. She would have never thought for herself. She wouldn’t have been where she is now.
As she thought back, her heart began to swell. The light within her rose with it, responding to her emotions. She felt it stronger than ever.
The memory of the day Yuki was taken replayed in her mind, but instead of sorrow she only felt anger. Anger at her weakness. Anger because she couldn’t protect the one she held so dear.
‘Never again,’ she thought. ‘Never again.’
The anger fused with the love that boiled within her. She could feel the magic pumping through her veins, the light that only the angels could touch calling for her to control as it waited for her command.
With a single thought, she clenched her fists and the magic exploded out from her. Her mana drained dramatically as she looked around at what had happened. She couldn’t see anything different.
“What happened?” Yuna asked, turning to look at Laurel.
Laurel laughed and gave Yuna a proud smile. She leaned over and gave her a tight hug.
“You can’t see? You did it. You made a shield,” she replied. “It’s covering this entire building.”
She looked and frowned a bit before giving Yuna a small smirk.
“Though, we’re going to need to work on your control,” she said.
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