Chapter 182: 182 (R15) Under the Moonlight

I've never felt anything like it before," she said, her ragged breathing rattling in her ears.

Every time she touches herself with her fingers, she feels something that she has never felt before, and that is where Deanna's hand always stops.

Her body is heating up, and she needs more stimulation. It's greedily seeking the end of "something".

Yes, I know that, but the reasoning that remains in ...... Diana's mind makes her hesitant to move on.

(I have to go on, but...) (I have to go on. I can't stop. I can't stop.

This is a kind of therapy. This is a kind of treatment. It is a necessary measure to avoid the risk of aftereffects, if not death.

In my head, I understand that. I know I have to do it and I know how to do it.

But...

(Scary. ......)

I can't help but be afraid of the strange feeling running down my spine. I can't help but stop my fingers.

(Why ......?)

My breathing became ragged, and even when I took a deep breath to calm down.

The exhalation and even the coldness of the air I breathed in stimulated me, and I felt like I was going crazy because it had nothing to do with Deanna's will.

Even though I knew in my head that it was the medication that was making me this way, and not Deanna or her body, the self-loathing that I felt stung like a small spike no matter what.

Deanna doesn't have enough time to think about why this fear, this self-loathing, is inside her. She gets frustrated again by what she doesn't understand, and goes back to the procedure, saying she doesn't have time to worry about it.

(Oh my god, ......)

I have to do it, but I can't do it well. It's necessary, but I hesitate.

I thought I had gotten over these struggles a long time ago. I thought I had gotten over these struggles a long time ago. It's not like I'm a single-digit-age child who throws a tantrum because I can't do what I need to do well.

--I should never, ever want to ask someone to do something for me.

Yeah. To someone.

"......!

I'm telling you, no!

(No, I'm telling you!) Deanna shook her head to get rid of the specific "someone" that had come to mind.

(No, no, no. It's too convenient.

There are some areas where you should not rely on the word "want" just because you share the same feelings.

I'm sure you'll be able to understand how insensitive it is to ask someone who wants Deanna to go out with you for a while, even if you're not familiar with the subtleties of gender.

(Besides, ...... probably won't be home tonight anyway.

What Deanna wants to find out is rather extensive and troublesome. Maybe we'll have to meet up again in Iftane while we're still separated.

So... After all, Diana is alone!

No!

Suddenly, I could hear Rita's voice clearly from afar. She was so busy with herself that she didn't have time to feel outside the room, or even inside the bedroom, but if there was a problem...

Deanna pulled herself up, pretending not to notice her body finally shaking with the mere movement, and desperately searched for signs of life outside. --Fortunately, due to the specifications of Stanza's palace, she was able to identify the person outside without much trouble.

Why are you interrupting me? I have no intention of harming the princess. I'll leave as soon as I'm sure you're safe.

No matter what promises you make to me, the Lord's stern command is all that matters to me. --Master Diana said absolutely no one is to enter the room until morning.

Even if the princess is suffering in her room?

Yes.

Sir, please go to ......?

It was Exiga who came to see you. It looks like you found out about the potion.

".........

I'm not sure what to say.

I felt my heart ache.

(No, but...) (No, but you can't help asking for .......)

The moment she sensed Exiga's presence, something ran through Diana's body.

It was ...... unmistakable fear.

Now, at this moment. --With a deep sense of realization, she understood.

It's not "someone. I hate it when it's not ...... Kai. I don't want to be anyone else, even if it kills me.

If someone touches you with the intention of doing so, it's probably easier than Deanna thinks to take care of you when your body is nearly out of control. If someone other than Deanna touches her, the problem will be easily solved since Deanna is the one who has stopped her.

That's the thing. That fact scares me so much.

(Even if this is just a treatment...) Even if the act has no meaning... But still...

Deanna can't trust herself to anyone but Kai anymore. She can't accept another's hand.

This is not a matter of logic. Rationally speaking, if it is difficult for her to take care of herself, she should leave it to someone else, be it Rita or Exiga. Otherwise, you may be tormented by the after-effects of the drug for the rest of your life.

Even though she understood that, the whirlpool of emotions that blew away her reasoning was like a piece of paper, taking over all of Diana.

I don't want anyone but Kai to touch me, ever.

If I hadn't admitted this feeling towards Kai, I probably wouldn't have had such a strong rejection. Even if she didn't want to, she could reasonably pretend that she didn't.

But now, Deanna knows. But now, Deanna knew that her selfish feelings of "wanting" someone coincided with that person's "wanting" - a miracle of luck and happiness.

The ...... joy of being desired by the person you want.

Once you know, you can't do it anymore. Instinct rejects all but Kai.

Deanna's ...... "female" instincts.

It's ...... stupid. Do you think it's loyal to just blindly follow your Lord's orders?

You can say what you like about me. --But no matter what you say, I won't leave this place and I won't allow anyone to enter the room.

Even with the order of Prince Stanza?

I have only one master, Master Diana Crester. No one else, not even a god, can command me.

...... I understand. But even as we speak, the princess may be in danger. There's no time for more questions and answers.

《......, then what do you intend to do?

I'm not sure what to do. ...... In proportion to Exiga's disturbing presence.

(Duh, ......!)

If Exiga harms Rita, or vice versa. Both would cause a definite rift between the two countries.

The only way to stop it is for Deanna to talk to Exiga with a casual face. I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not. She's not going to be satisfied with just shouting from inside the ...... room.

One last piece of advice. Get out of there, maidservant.

I refuse. --It is my duty to protect you, Master Diana. I will not leave this place.

The tension on the other side of the door is rising sharply. I need to move, but the effects of the potion around my body are so entangled in Diana's freedom that I can't even get off my bed.

I see... Then...

No!

I can't make it--......!

"I'm home, Dee.

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A warmth falls from behind me. At the same time as I was trapped in the gentle arms, I felt a deep and strong pressure that swept through my bedroom and the living room beyond, and reached the other side of the door.

The tension that had been building up was instantly replaced by a new "presence".

This is ......

《......》

Exxiga was confused, and Rita was overtly relieved.

You know what I mean.　You know that you and I are not wanted by Master Diana.

I'm sure you'll be able to understand what I mean.

(How could you? ......)

I'm sorry.

I thought it would be impossible, but...

I was relieved to know that, and I loved the warmth of it.

---- and ！！！！

It's a miraculous match between a heart that wants Kai and a body that cries out for more, and reason is rapidly eroding.

"--......

And then.

It's not as if Kai hadn't noticed that Diana was acting strangely.

-- Get lost.

Kai's pressure intensified to the point of auditory hallucinations in his ears. It's just a matter of time.

...... How much time had passed? Exiga's presence faded into the distance.

He seemed to have completely confirmed that he was gone, and the pressure emanating from Kai disappeared like an illusion.

"...... Dee.

I'm sorry.

...... You look like you're in pain.

What's wrong with you?

"Rick came to get me. ...... You were right. Hurry up.

Maybe, just maybe, it was a dare. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what's going on. ...... Diana, too.

If you look at Kai's face now. I'm sure you're not the only one. I'm sure of it.

I'm not going to ask you how that happened. ...... But just tell me this. --Dee?

"Kai ......

Tell me about it.

"Tell me.

...... The pieces of reason are disappearing.

"...... in the middle of the night.

Yeah.

"Some ...... times.

"How many times?

".......

Dee.

It's just a voice.

He said my name.

I can't fight ...... anymore.

How many times? "How many times can you ...... take a feeling to its peak?

I've said it. ...... No, no. No! No!

But it's okay. I know how to do it. I can do it myself.

Are you kidding me?

--The bedding flutters through the air. The bedding fluttered in the air. Her gaze flipped, and in an instant, Deanna's body was sewn onto the bunk.

The person who sewed Deanna to the bed is looking down at you with her whole body in a covering position.

In his dark blue eyes...

I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but I'm pretty sure you're joking.　It's a joke, but it's very unreasonable.

Come to .......

What?

I ...... can't give you everything right now.

Yeah. I can't give you everything right now, but I can't give you everything right now.

"Because ......!　It's hard on you, isn't it?

I am!

I've never seen Kai's face so bare of emotion before.

I've never seen Kai's face so bare of emotions before. His eyes barely contain his gushing feelings.

There's nothing more painful to me than Dee being trapped in something that's not me. I'm not patient enough to sit back and let someone else make her look like this, whether it's a person or a thing. I'm not sure I'd have wanted it in the first place if I could have just laughed and pulled it off .......

"Kai .......

I'm not sure I'd be able to do that. ...... I want to be the only "man" who can touch Dee.

I want to be the only one who can touch her.

I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but it's a good idea.

I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get the best out of it.

"...... Kai.

I'm sorry. Dee.

Please. ...... Please help me. I'm in pain.

...... Thank you, Dee.

Kai is the only one who can help me. My heart is screaming at me that it has to be ...... Kai.

"...... Yeah. I'm on it.

With the moonlight streaming in from the balcony, the man I love smiles gently, softly, ...... and seductively.

It's okay. I'll teach you everything you need to know about Dee now. --I'm going to teach you everything you need to know so that you won't even remember the feeling of the drug tomorrow morning.

"Oh, .......

Kai's left palm stroked up Deanna's neck. He put his hand on her cheek and whispered in her ear, breathing into her ear.

He whispered in Deanna's ear, "You don't have to think about anything else. You don't have to think about anything else. ...... Just for tonight, give me all of you and just feel me...

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