Chapter 169: Gustave the Vampire

My ears perked up a little as they heard every little noise in the area. 

Rich trophy wives with buttplugs in their ass, vibrating slowly... a few toothpicks on the ground rolling, the boots of the waiters as they serve pizza...

Then- I heard a small yet loud click.

*Tck* 

The knob of the door turned slowly as the wedge of the divine slab pushed slightly. A gust of wind entered, as the air filled in the room inside. 

What is a door? 

Nobody ever thinks of this question. However, I... Irakiel El Navah does, maybe because I have plenty of time in my hands or rather brain or maybe because that's how amazing I am.

That is right. I am fucking amazing.

Doors. What an Irakiel word. If I ever meet the inventor of this word, I will grant him my profound lessons.

Lesson number one. Either fuck a billion women or wank till wrinkled. Warning: Does not work for humans.

The Post-Nut Clarity hits differently. 

*THuuuuuuuuuummmmMMMMM!* 

OH YES I FORGOT DOORS!

So... What is a door?

A door is a portal. Behind it lies the future. A dream in the form of solid. One can cower or one can enter. 

A door can be a subject to fear, it can be to happiness and it can be to sadness. A single slab of reality that separates one from the unknown. 

The only way to go through all darkness and adventure to overcome is by reaching out, opening it and stepping in... A reality that is disappointment or a reality that is metamorphic.

Only one way to find out.

*....ccccccCCCCCrrrRRRReeeEEEaaaAAAkkkKKK!* 

The door had been opened for one last time.

In came a vampire. A bulky male with skin as white as bleach and hair as white as his skin. A ghost if I had to be honest, a ghost.

*ggggGGGrrrrRRRoooOOOwwwWWWlllLLL!!!* 

I could hear his growls in slow motion as the man pounced in midair. Mumbling something incomprohembly. 

"Mi wif mi wif fukd mi wif mi wif mi if fukd..."

His fangs were sharp open, his jaw completely stooping to devour my flesh along with blood. This vampire seemed to have gone nuts.

Then I noticed from the corner of my eyes, his nuts were bleeding. So how could he go nuts? Hmmm. Interesting.

Oh well, a few more seconds are left for him to completely fall on me. Till then what should I do?

I looked around. The women fucked nearby made me want to barf. It was impossible to believe that someone of my stature actually engaged in the exchange of bodily fluids.

Disgusting.

What the actual fuck was I thinking when I did it? I am never going to have sex again.

Oh!! It seems this vampire is closer. Now, now... what technique should I use to defeat him?

Hmmmm so many options to choose from. Sheesh. I guess I will go old school for today.

*Shwp!* 

*Lub-Dub... Lub-Dub... Lub-Dub... * 

To kill a vampire there are many ways. Garlic up their ass, sunlight, fire, wood, head tearing, or straight-up heart removal.

However, Royal Vampires are a bit different. Since they are of the same primordial line as those in the Celestial Realm just not ascended.

Garlic does not affect them nor does sunlight or fire or wood. Even after the heart is removed, they can still live for a long period at least until they manage to put their heart back inside.

The only way to kill a royal vampire instantly is by separating the head from the body.

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However, the most nefarious species of these vampires exist or used to exist in the Celestial Realm. I and a few others did our best to exhilarate them.

They are a wild bunch unlike those of the Lower World. Elegance matters naught to them. Power and blood rules.

They used to hunt in tribes and live amongst the darkness, in deep caves sleeping upside down with their black jet wings to cover them similar to a blanket.

Truly immortal species with no weakness, superspeed, superstrength, instant regeneration to the last atom, and their most ferocious ability, blood magic. 

Rituals, curses... many more. 

The worst thing was that they used to kidnap babies from all around the celestial realm, either that or capture many species as livestock or as ingredients for one of their cursed rituals.

The only known way to kill them is by removing all the blood in their body to the last drop, every single cell under the rays of the sun.

Then letting their body dry up and ultimately wither. 

If even a single drop is remaining, they can use their blood magic till infinity and back... or if captured too late to dry them and the sun sets.

It would be better to call them beasts. The vampires in this world are nothing short of a joke. 

Sure they carry their incest practices, can use blood magic a little, and are good fucks but... they will never level to those ferocious monsters that have impulse issues.

The reason why my friends and I were hell-bent on killing them all was that they had kidnapped and cursed the entire bloodline of one of our homies.

Or was it mainly because we were bored? I do not remember. 

That ended in tragedy anyway.

At least the primordial vampires got exterminated. 

However, since I have read many novels in my human life and know that a new world cycle will soon begin, some or the other vampire tribe was hiding or a guy has a hidden vampire bloodline and has no idea about it but is determined to avenge them.

Sigh... sometimes I wonder what I would be... A villain? A mid-boss? The End Level Boss? Or the Hero.. maybe a sidekick?

Probably the End Level Boss, at least that is what I want to think. End Level Boss with a good ending. 

I glanced at the man across me, convulsing on the ground as blood flowed out of his body similar to a river. 

It reminded me of the scene when I killed the dragon crown prince. Touching my chest, I could feel my own dragon heart beating.

I glanced down coldly at the man and knelt. 

"I fucked your wife."

He glared at me, his lips opening with all strength he could muster.

"I know."

I nodded. 

"I saw you wanking. You moan better than most girls."

His face scrunched up as the pool of blood widened.

"Take care of my wife."

My tongue clicked as I could not help but shake my head. 

"Let's play a game."

He raised his eyebrows. I continued speaking.

"It is called hide and seek. If you find me, I will give you your heart back but if you can't... well you die... knowing that I fucked your wife and did not even feel good."

I stood up and gestured to Alizejh's friend.

"You were saying something?"

She nodded dumbly as she broke out of her daze. The woman glanced at Gustave and gulped her saliva. Fear glinting in her eyes towards me.

"Yes, I would ask your grace to follow this unworthy lady to the tailor."

I frowned. Is it time for the marriage ceremony? My eyes deep as the Atlantic stared at the woman before nodding.

"Very well, take me there."

As the two of us walked out of the room. I turned behind to look at the dying vampire. Then I ran towards his sleeping wife and slapped her arse.

Then I glanced at him again.

"Do you have a mother?"

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