Chapter 120: 2.20 Dread

I wasn’t allowed peaceful sleep. I woke up to the sound of something pounding on wood. I shook myself properly awake as I realized the sound came from nearby. What the hell was going on?

I raised my torso and noticed with my spider eyes that Cellestra was in my shelter once again, wearing nothing but her underwear. She was repeatedly hitting the wooden wall with her fists. Blood trickled down from them from her actions.

“Cellestra?” I asked as I turned my head to face her.

No response came, which instantly made me jump to the conclusion that she was sleepwalking again.

I felt overwhelming pity for her. Why was this happening in her sleep? Searching the wall had been odd enough, but hitting it with your fists until they bled… that just couldn’t be natural.

I moved backward slightly and put my legs around her frame and forced her to turn around. Her eyes were closed and she was still trying to slam her fists into something that wasn’t there. Though, I doubted hitting nothing but the air in front of her would cause her any harm.

“Cellestra?” I called out, louder this time, while I tried to shake her awake with my pedipalps and arms.

Her eyes shot open, and she started shivering uncontrollably. At the same time, her hands stopped moving while they were in front of her, shaking with the rest of her body. Tears started flowing down her cheeks, breaking my heart in the process.

“Rose?” She asked, clearly delusional.

The elf before me looked truly pathetic. Before I even knew what happened, I took her in for a hug, wrapping my arms around her back. I used my pedipalps as well and lightly tapped her back in an attempt to console her.

“No. It’s Kealyna. You’re fine. Don’t worry.”

I was terrible at this. I truly didn’t know what to say. I said the first words that came to mind and hoped they had the desired effect. I also cast my healing light spell on her to calm her clouded mind down. At the same time, it healed the wounds on her hands. After a few more seconds of shivering and crying, it seemed to slow down before almost stopping completely.

“Kealyna?” Cellestra eventually called out my name with a whisper, as she put her hands on my shoulders.

“Are you okay?” I asked a few seconds later.

“I don’t know…” She answered with a whisper again.

I held her in a close hug for several more minutes, hoping it would soothe her. This was not how I imagined my first hug with the elf to go, but it was what it was.

“And now?” I asked after a while.

“I think I’m back,” She spoke slowly. “I don’t know what happened.”

“You were sleepwalking again. For some reason, you were slamming your fists on your wall. I’m not sure how that didn’t wake you up. You kept going until they bled.”

“Oh,” She simply replied.

I moved my head from her shoulder and tried to look into her eyes. When I did so, I saw her pupils dart down, unable to hold contact with my eyes.

“Cellestra?” I called her name once more. When she didn’t reply I continued my question. “What is going on? This isn’t just sleepwalking anymore, is it?”

The elf shook her head but didn’t speak.

I placed a hand on her hair and slowly ran it through it. I then placed my arms under her shoulders and used my legs under her knees and rear to lift her, and placed her against the silked wall at the far end of my nest. I then placed myself in front of her and asked if she wanted to talk about it.

“I don’t know…” Cellestra spoke softly. “I didn’t want you to worry about me.”

“But seeing you like this makes me worry even more,” I replied.

She took a deep breath and sighed. “It should come as no surprise that it’s my curse… again. This sleepwalking is a recent phenomenon. I never had it lead me outside or harm me, though.”

“Any idea why it happens?”

“I do,” She said while nodding slowly. “And I’m scared.”

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“Why?” I carefully asked.

“The mana inside me. It’s not entirely my own. The nightmares I have… they are terrible. In them, whatever is inside of me, is trying to find a way out. It’s as if something is trapped inside of me and it wants to break free. I think it’s amplified at night when my mind is vulnerable.”

She tilted her head to face me. “I’m scared…”

My heart broke for a second time when she said that. The look in her eyes… she was scared for her life. This curse may just kill her if things went too far. It was obvious from both her actions and her look.

I moved closer to her and placed my spider head on her legs as I took her in for a hug again, my hands in her hair, as I pressed her head against my belly.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Cellestra. I won’t allow that curse to do whatever it wishes. We’ll find a way to get rid of it, I promise.”

Cellestra returned the hug by placing her arms around my waist, which was at about the height of her shoulders. “Thank you…” She said softly.

I never knew things were this dire. Everything I’d known about her curse so far hadn’t seemed so bad. Sending nearby creatures into a murderous frenzy, but causing them to ignore her at the same time wouldn’t do much to affect her. The nightmares and terrible sleep were more of an issue, but now that I’d learned that the curse might just slowly kill her… I…

I didn’t know. I was at a loss for words. All I could do was console her and pray to Elysa that there was some kind of solution to it. It made my own issues suddenly seem so trivial…

“Will you be okay?” I finally asked.

“I think I am okay now,” She replied with a whisper, not breaking the hug.

I noticed she placed her hands on my spider head and started caressing my soft hair. I let her do as she pleased as it seemed to have a positive effect on the anxiety she was experiencing. Her breathing became more steady over time and the last of her shivers had disappeared.

“Kealyna?” She asked without changing her downward gaze.

“What is it?” I asked softly, still running a hand through her hair.

“Is it okay if I spend the night here?”

“Of course. You don’t even have to ask.”

It would probably be for the best. I did not want the same things repeating themselves. At least here, I could help her if she had a relapse.

Cellestra lowered her head so that it was resting against my spider head, right between the two large eyes where there was nothing but soft hair. The fact that she was using my head as a pillow sent mixed emotions through my brains. I did not want to think about things like that now, but I couldn’t fully keep them out.

I was, however, glad I could be of emotional support for the elf… however much I did.

I felt Cellestra relax further. Eventually, I heard soft snoring coming from her as her hands held a tight grip on my hair. It seemed that even in her sleep, she knew how to appreciate the softness that was all over me. It put a small smile on my face.

I continued stroking her hair, feeling slightly guilty for abusing the situation like that. My love for her continued to grow, as did my anxiety to talk about it. The more things like these happened, the more it felt like I would just be using the situation to get her to feel the same about me.

I closed my eyes and prayed to Elysa in my mind. I wanted Cellestra to make her own decisions without me forcing her into anything. It brought me back to my seemingly perpetual struggle where I wanted to be honest to her, but not wanting to influence her.

I sighed deeply. I was completely clueless in matters like these. At the very least, I’d gotten to experience hugging the elf. It wasn’t the situation that I had expected, or wanted for that matter. If anything, I detested the situation, but hugging her felt… good. The warmth that grew within me, that burned brightly for her, had never been so intense as in that moment.

I tried to relax as I laid myself down on my own head and thorax, enjoying the softness as usual, while keeping my gaze fixed on Cellestra with my other eyes.

She seemed so peaceful.

Being used as a pillow… I loved every moment of it.

Faragi

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