“How long has it been, my queen? I feel without you I am losing my will to exist. Just how many days and nights have I cried? I have lost my purpose, and without you I don’t know if I can continue living.” My voice echoed across the empty cave.
When the only person I could consider my queen perished in battle I wasn’t able to do anything for her, and I have spent who knows how many nights crying. I would have already ended myself for failing to protect Queen Eliah, but I have made this my punishment.
When she died I was lost without knowing what to do, so I relocated to the mountain my queen had first found me. I remember I was also lost at that time as well, but my queen had given me purpose anew. I feel disgusted with myself, and I abhor myself.
I hate myself for failing in the only duty that should be expected for a knight. I hate myself for believing that my queen would never lose. I hate myself for not listening to my gut feeling when my queen sent me away on that day. Finally, I hate myself for not being able to die with my queen. I am a failure as a knight.
As I was pacing around in my cave. I looked out from the edge. Far down below me, I could see a black carriage moving up a road. Usually I wouldn’t care, and I would go back to pacing around in my cave full of self loathing; however, something compelled me to use my draconic vision.
When my vision was enhanced I could see the carriage was stopped on the road. In front of the carriage were 6 hooded figures, but I didn’t care about them. When I moved my eyes over to the carriage, I saw a symbol I was familiar with. Honestly, seeing that symbol started to fill me with extreme anger, and I felt my anger wouldn’t calm until I saw who exited the carriage.
Exiting the carriage I saw a maid I recognized as my queen's closest servant. I was starting to feel a little hopeful seeing her figure. When the next figure exited the carriage I thought my heart would stop beating. I swear for a second it did stop beating. “T-there is no way.”
The figure that exited the carriage wasn’t adorned with her usual attire, but for me there could be no mistake. No one could copy her perfect aura. I wanted to immediately leap from this mountain to be by her side. “But could a failure like me even be by her side? Would she even want me?”
I started to shake my head, and instead I focused on what was happening. Out of the 6 figures only the one in front was kneeling. I saw my queen’s face twist into one of disgust, which I judged was because the other figures weren’t kneeling before her magnificence. “How could Rela not kill these pieces of trash that stand in front of her majesty?”
The more I looked on the more the anger boiled within me, and I felt like I would explode if I didn’t stop what was happening before my eyes. My sense of anger overtook me, and I could no longer contain myself. Before I knew it I had already leapt from the mountain. The only thing fueling me was my anger at these disgusting humans.
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