.
Quietly watching the situation beside me, Eun Jiho asked, “How did you make up with Ban Yeo Ryung after a fight? Even though she lost her memories, she’s still the same person, isn’t she?”
I smiled like a sigh. “Well…” I paused, “… We only fought once in middle school and that’s it. We never fought after then, so I have no idea.”
‘As long as I remember in this world…’ I left the words unspoken.
Eun Jiho’s face turned stiff at my response.
So eventually, I wasn’t able to see Ban Yeo Ryung until the classes all ended. Just in case she would return home without me, I quickly packed my backpack as soon as the last class was over. Then I found Ban Yeo Ryung leaning against the wall in the hallway and heaved a sigh of relief.
Eun Jiho was also standing beside her since he promised that he would give us a ride back home through the crowds of people waiting outside for Ban Yeo Ryung. However, he was still a person provoking her to raise her guard, instead of someone who could ease her mind.
Thus, our ride back home was like being at a funeral. Ban Yeo Ryung was dropping her gaze at the floor, pouting her lips; Eun Jiho sat close to the window to keep a distance from Ban Yeo Ryung–I felt a little sorry for him since it was his car–Lastly, I was in a fluster, looking for the perfect timing to talk to Yeo Ryung. It was so nerve-wracking that I could definitely understand how desperate and grieving the boys would have felt earlier in school when Yeo Ryung rejected them all.
Looking outside the window, I tried to break the ice, saying something like, ‘Wow, there’s a new cafe!’ or ‘Whoa, that dog is huge!’ but none of them responded back. My words just scattered away and disappeared in silence like pebbles falling off a precipice.
As soon as the car pulled over in front of our apartment complex, Ban Yeo Ryung flung open the door, saying, ‘Thanks,’ to Eun Jiho. Bidding a short farewell, she left with no hesitation.
I should, of course, follow her immediately, but for some reason, I was glued to the spot as if I were captivated by her strange force.
A moment later, Eun Jiho turned his head toward me and said, “You really suck at making up.”
It wasn’t a comment I would like to hear from Eun Jiho, the man of pride and big ego.
He uttered, “She won’t even remember how the streets looked like before. Why did you talk about the new cafe?”
“Ah, shut up.”
“And a huge dog? Geez, dude…”
“Urgh, I mean it!”
As he repeated the things I said to Yeo Ryung, I felt so ashamed that I pretended to kick him hard on his leg. With a choking sound, Eun Jiho collapsed on the ground.
Staring at his head, lowered to me from bending his waist forward, I asked him a question out of the blue.
“Um… you know…”
“Huh?” He said, quickly raising his head.
“How do you make up with Jooin when you two have a fight?”
“We don’t,” he replied.
WHAT? My brows met in the middle. Although male friendship could be different from that of females, Eun Jiho’s response was too blunt.
Shrugging, Eun Jiho continued speaking, “Well, it’s just a matter of difference. We don’t care who’s right or wrong; we’re just different in opinions. That’s how we deal with each other.”
“Oh…”
“Let’s put it this way. We’re like different-sized gear wheels that don’t interlock with each other, but the spirit… the essential part that we share goes well. We know that, so things don’t last forever after a fight. We can always just move on naturally.”
I nodded.
Furrowing the corner of his brow, Eun Jiho smiled and continued, “Come on, do you think it’s helpful to listen to Woo Jooin’s story? You know he isn’t normal in the first place.”
“No, that’s not what I’m talking about… In fact…”
After wondering for a while, I finally confessed to Eun Jiho.
“… I kind of thought that Jooin and I could have an argument sooner or later.”
“What?” Eun Jiho asked in surprise. He quickly added, “Why? You two never had a fight before.”
That was true, but instead of responding back, I just heaved a deep sigh.
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I had no idea why things were going on this way. Ban Yeo Ryung and Jooin… I was facing struggles in my relationship with each of them at the same time. Anyway, I realized that Eun Jiho’s advice wouldn’t work this time.
“Anyway, thanks, see you later.”
Nodding, I turned around and bid farewell. That’s because I saw Ban Yeo Ryung’s silhouette wandering in front of the apartment complex. She just left us without looking back but was actually waiting for me until now. On which side should I be dancing to her tune?
‘It seems to get harder after time,’ I sighed, bending my steps. Ever since I became a sophomore in high school, achieving academic success and managing relationships felt more difficult.
Usually, things became easier after time, but why were these two getting harder, instead?
As soon as I entered the entrance door to our apartment, Ban Yeo Ryung pressed the elevator button. We stepped inside but still kept our mouths shut.
An awkward silence swept the space as if two neighbors of the same age–but not close enough to say hi–had met in front of the elevator. The moment I turned my head to just look inside the mirror, I had eye contact with Ban Yeo Ryung.
Looking at her eyes in the mirror, I blurted out, “Hey… um…”
She was still staring at me with piercing eyes.
I asked, “Do you want to take a trip together?”
“…”
“There’s a beach we went to for our middle school senior trip. You really loved that place.”
That winter, when eight in the morning was as dark as the night sky, we took two subway rides and a bus ride to get to the winter beach.
The ocean looked eerie at first–plastic trashes flowing into the cliff, seagulls flying round and round above our heads, dark and creepy-looking waves crashing hard–but Ban Yeo Ryung praised the sight, telling me how much she loved the scenery and vibe, with her nose scrunched up into a bunny smile. Even her eyes shone undoubtedly. Those memories streamed through my mind.
I slowly uttered, “… So, I was thinking what if we all go there again…”
Then I came up with myself back in the days who couldn’t nod willingly to Yeo Ryung and the Four Heavenly King’s suggestion.
Around that time, I was busy considering whether I should go to the same high school with these kids or not, so I wasn’t able to concentrate on both the senior trip and Ban Yeo Ryung. Even it was less than two years ago, Ham Donnie back then seemed somewhat very young and immature.
Raising my head, I asked, “What do you think?” Now’s the time to completely focus on Ban Yeo Ryung.
I, of course, responded to Ban Yeo Ryung and the Four Heavenly Kings sincerely at the time, but there was much difference between myself right now and back then. During that time, I wasn’t accepting these kids as ‘real’ humans. Those thoughts would have existed deep inside my mind.
Even if it’s too late, I wished I could make up for that now. While I rambled those things in my mind, the elevator beeped as it arrived at our floor.
Once we got in front of our doors, Yeo Ryung sighed and replied, “Okay.”
My face brightened at her response.
“Good night.”
Even though it was daytime, Ban Yeo Ryung left that word and went into her house. To me, it felt odd since Ban Yeo Ryung always stayed in the hallway until I stepped into my house. She also argued with me to sleepover at her place or mine every time, but now that she wasn’t doing those things, she seemed very unfamiliar.
Watching the closed door, I came across the fact that how much I had been used to receiving attention from Ban Yeo Ryung.
The spring breeze of May felt cold like the day back then when we stood against the wind on the winter in our senior trip.
That Saturday, I opened my eyes at six in the morning.
Thinking that it’s been a while to wake up so early, I came out to the living room and looked up at the enclosed balcony. Half of the sky was already lightened with the morning sunlight.
For some reason, I stared at the sight absentmindedly then went to the bathroom to take a bath. When I came outside with a towel on my head, even the living room was brightened with the pouring sunlight.
Walking around the kitchen alone, I took out the leftover chicken from last night and made a quick breakfast, then my mom’s deeper voice came from her room.
“Is it Donnie?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Isn’t it Saturday? Why are you… oh, you said you’re going on a trip today.”
My mom asked me again, “Do you want me to cook breakfast for you?”
I shook my head and took a seat at the dining room table.
Waking up at six in the morning felt like the time was running very slow. Even after I packed all my things, there was still enough time, so I crouched on the couch and turned on the TV, but everything seemed too lame to watch in the morning.
So instead of watching something, I fell into thought, tapping the couch. Eun Jiho, sitting here on the day of our senior trip, crossed my mind so clearly.
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