Chapter 4: Chapter 2

The next morning, I decided to join my stepparents for breakfast because I was already feeling much better and adapted to my surroundings, and also because I needed to carefully plan the next step because part of my plan was not to get married and die, but to live as long as possible until I could leave freely. In this era, I had planned to become a pharmacologist, but that would be a difficult shell to crack. Because women in this period had little power to stand up to men, I needed to be decisive and look for people I could trust, because royal families are bound by betrayal.

Philippa's handmaid, Emma, and the other two handmaids, Joan and Alisa, both around my age, assisted me in preparing breakfast. She dressed me in a mint green crushed velvet Medieval-styled gown with a square neckline. It has silver trimmings and linings on the sleeves. An adjustable girdle belt with a Celtic knot pattern is included. She puts on a headdress and styles my hair. In a beaded hat over white linen, I looked ridiculous. She applies make-up that has an unpleasant odour.

For the time being, I must bear it. This out-of-date gown will have to go first. I considered my other future plans first.

I thanked Emma as I got ready to enter the dining hall.

I greeted my stepmother, Stephanie de Milly, and stepfather, Raynald of Chatillon, who were already seated at the dining table, with a curtsy. " Good morning, Stepmother and Stepfather, and I apologise for being late."

My stepmother greeted me with a smile on her face and said, "I am very happy that you could join us. Are you already feeling better, my dear?" I sat down beside her and smiled sweetly, "Yes, I am already feeling much better now."

"That's a relief. I have been worried about you ever since. Phillipa, do you still have a hard time remembering things?"

"You don't need to worry, mother, I am already recovering some memories. Just like the doctors said, due to my health condition, I was able to not remember."

"That was a relief."

Raynald, my stepfather, was eating and looking at me. He was a huge, tall man with dishevelled red-flaming curly hair and a beard that almost covered his face. According to what I've read, William the Archbishop of Tyre describes him as "almost a common soldier," and judging by how he looks and eats, he's completely correct.

"I am glad you have been doing well; after your strange antics, I almost believe you were attempting suicide, I thought you were a goner; I even wrote a letter to your dear brother, but all I received was this: "Talk about your marriage prospects."

I paused and took out my napkin to dab it in my mouth.

"Why on earth would I attempt suicide when I am so loved?" I laugh.

"Yes, My Dear, you are absolutely correct," my stepmother responded, adding, "by the way, you are already of marriageable age, and we have received formal letters for your hand in marriage, including one from a Byzantine general."

"Consider yourself lucky. Finding a suitable husband on this day is very hard, and the young general from the Byzantine Empire is the best choice. " Raynald said, while chewing loudly.

I wondered how they could be so callous as I struggled to get my compost. Despite the fact that I was on the verge of death, they continued to look for a suitable husband for me. Not to mention the Byzantine General, who will cause Philippa misery and heartache in the future. I'm not going to let it happen.

"I see how many suitable candidates have asked my hand for marriage." I asked. 

"By the way, the food is bussin'," I say as I keep eating.

"Bussin? What is bussin? " Stephanie asked with confusion.

"It means it's good," I reply

Stephanie said, "Oh.. I don't know that. Is that Latin? "

"N-no.. it's slang..." I said

"Slang? I've never heard of it, but we have 15 candidates, all of whom are crusader knights from noble families who fought for a noble cause alongside the king."

"15? Wow, that's a lot of people. "How will you make your decision?" "I mean, I don't think I'm that popular," I scoffed.

"Well, none of them have met you yet, and it is unseemly for a young lady to meet a man outside of her family, so we are considering asking His Highness, King Baldwin IV, to choose a husband for you, despite his young age and illness."

"King Baldwin? The leper king? fr! (for real)," I exclaimed.

"What now?" Stephanie asked, unable to understand what I was saying. "I don't quite understand you, my dear; are you really okay?"

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" Y-yes." I am just not in my mind now.. due to my memory not coming back yet. "

They exchanged glances, but I intervened before they decided to send me to my room.

"I am sorry.. please continue." I said

" I am still requesting an audience with the king; His Majesty is a very busy man, after all, he governed everything that followed the Saladin defeat," Rayland explained as he cut up his food.

"I see, but you still need my consent before I agree to this," I clarified.

Stephanie and Raynald both came to a halt and exchanged glances. And their expressions were mixed with confusion and bewilderment, because the previous Philippa refused to speak up, remained silent, and simply followed everything they said.

"Your right; we still need your consent, but you must follow tradition as your legal guardian," Raynald says.

"I understand. I will not deviate from tradition; in fact, if you don't mind, I have a suggestion; you can rely on the suggestion to the king as well."

"Well, let me hear it," Raynald said.

On the day of the knighthood banquets, I will marry anyone who becomes an archery champion. I believe we can find a suitable husband based on who wins.

"Well, that suggestion never happened before," Stephanie said

"I am a knight's daughter, and I want a husband who is at least a knight," I explained.

"Well, I need consent from the king, if he will allow it, since it's a banquet for the coming age of knighthood."

"Very well, then, I'll retire early; it appears that I need to rest for a while." Excuse me as I stood up and exited the dining hall.

Everything went exactly as planned. All I have to do now is consider requesting an audience with the king. I'm hoping everything will be fine. All I have to do now is wait and see if the kings agree, and if not, come up with another plan.

I started getting rid of those boring dresses, including the hideous headdresses, as planned. I used to be a fashion icon to my coworkers because I was so concerned with what others thought of me. Because I grew up with nothing and because appearances are important in society, I tried my hardest to look good no matter what.

As I sipped my cup of tea, I called Joan, a younger maid around my age who had helped me prepare earlier, and asked her to get rid of all my dresses in my wardrobes and call a dressmaker for me.

"But my lady, these dresses are very expensive, and I just can't throw them out," Joan said, puzzled.

"Well... you can have them" as I smile at her

"I-I wouldn't dare, my lady; these clothes are too nice for the likes of me." As she lowers her face,

I calmly went to her and raised her face.

"looked at me. These dresses don't define who you are; they're just a tool to make yourself confident. If you want society to accept you, you have to use what was given to you to your advantage."

Her face was filled with wonder.

"I understand, my lady."

"Now call the dressmaker; I need a new set of dresses."

"Yes, right away, my lady," as she goes out of my bedroom.

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