Chapter 61: 47

Day 25 – Morning, Omui Guild.

I escaped since they were scolding me.

And yet…

「Why do the quests remain the same? Do you have any intentions of working at this guild? The person in charge of the notice board is not working at all, right? They are working even less than a NEET. I have no money. I have no allowance. When are you going to post legit profitable quests? Just when am I going to hit it big already?」

「When are you going to start keeping a low profile? Profitable quests are for adventurers. But you couldn’t become one, right? Why did you come here again?…… And where have you been? Everyone…… was really worried.」

Oh, it’s a flat gaze from the receptionist lady, the first in a while. Yesterday I couldn’t get my fill. The girls were giving me a serious glare instead. Even though I did nothing wrong? Could it be that they are angry that I came back alive?! No, that can’t be true, I hope. Ah! I see! Souvenirs?! The problem is that I came empty-handed. As I thought, I ought to raise my affection rating or my life is at risk. I will be killed through a sermon.

「Isn’t there money hidden somewhere?」

「If it was lying on the ground somewhere it’s one thing, but please don’t just steal hidden money, that is what a bandit would do!……」

Oh. It’s a flat gaze. Not a point-blank stare while crying, completely different stuff. Something I couldn’t have at the cave.

Hmm, I want to sleep, but if I go back to the inn I’ll get scolded again.

And there is no point in idling in the town since I have no money.

The geeks are useless. As usual.

The idiots are sleeping. Well, they are idiots after all.

No, really, aren’t they way too stupid? Almost dying, losing arms and legs, they barely survived, had their limbs regrown, and what did they do? Run all the way to the city, without stopping. Without stopping for a sleep or a break, they ran all the way to the city while chewing on HP mushrooms, and collapsed in front of the gates, getting captured by the guards as the result… Complete and utter idiots.

There was no point in rushing, and they should’ve known that! And in the first place, they were almost dead just some hours ago, don’t run! As a result, they didn’t recover at all!

Wandering around the town I spot the cute maid that I met several days ago…… And she is waving a hand? ……To me? She is beckoning? ……Me! ……Is this finally the time for this and that and……

I got caught.

Suddenly, soldiers surrounded me! Ah, please, why can’t they be maids! This is a scummy trap! Making use of the high school boy’s brain in such a way!…… How terrifying.

Turns out it was set up by Merimeri-san.

「I thought that we might catch you with this, but why did it go this easy? Even though we couldn’t find you no matter how we tried…… And you fall this easy for a maid.」

「Well, she was waving a hand? She was beckoning me? 」

Who wouldn’t go?

「But when guards do that you run away!」

Eh? But they are old dudes? Who wouldn’t run away?

「And also, please don’t make such a face like you don’t recognize me! It’s Meriel! You even have it written in your passage permit! Not Merimeari or Merimeri! Meriel!」

「Aah, eh? But your mother, Murimur-san, introduced herself as 『Merimeri’s mother』?」

「……Even mother forgot…… I’ll live as Merimeri from now on…… You can even call me Meri if you like…… 」

I got scolded by the butler.

And that’s after I said so many times that I prefer maids…… Ah, nevermind, I didn’t say anything.

「Father and Mother were looking for you since that day, wishing to express their gratitude, but no matter where we looked, we couldn’t find you, uncertain if it was because you aren’t in the town or avoiding us, I decided to set up a trap…… So you were here?」

「No, I returned last evening? Or rather, last night? But couldn’t get into the town… And when I did, the gatekeeper caught me.」

「…… Hmmm. Anyway, gratitude! With Father and Mother being saved by you as well, you now saved our whole family, for which we are deeply grateful. Father and Mother once again departed for the neighboring town, so I thank you in their stead as well. ……Are you listening? Really? ……And here is a modest reward, please accept it.」

I obtained money.

Looks like saving carriages from attacks is pretty lucrative?

「Neighbouring town? Won’t they get attacked again? I mean, it’s about time, isn’t it?」

「Why do they have to get attacked every time they leave outside! And what do you mean – about time? Just what are you hoping for? The nobles behind the attacks are already arrested. It’s safe.」

Looks like there won’t be new attacks. Looks like I won’t be getting more money.

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The path to the affection boost is still long.

Since I got money, I stroll around the town.

Eventually, I reached the weapon store that was on the verge of turning into a store exclusively selling clubs. Old man, are you fine with that? Aren’t you a blacksmith?

「Hey, Old Man? I found more goblin leader clubs lying around, wanna buy?」

When I showed him a club, he dashed to me from the store, carrying a leather bag full of money. How easy.

「Everything I can buy for this! Or actually, why would such a thing would be lying on the ground?!」

「Well? Collision? Accidental death? And clubs ended up on the ground? Kind of?」

「……You are saying they were lying, like you had nothing to do with this, but didn’t you kill them? Not only you didn’t just find them, but you are also the very culprit that killed them!」

No no, how much of an idiot does one have to be to run brandishing a club to where a person is about to fall. It’s not my fault at all, isn’t it?

「Eh, well? It was lying on the ground? I guess?」

While saying this and that, the old man appraised the clubs. Looks like they are selling well. This town might be a dangerous place.

I actually also have clubs from kings and the emperor, but I’m not telling him that, since he might go bankrupt trying to buy them.

For some reason, this town has a terrible custom of blaming every store that is going into bankruptcy on me. What a terrible place.

Regrettably, the lady from the general store couldn’t beat her mushroom addiction. Her condition might be more severe than I initially thought.

When I told her if she wants mushrooms she should find rice, she broke down in tears. In the end, I sold them to her for cash and dried fruits. She rubbed her cheeks on mushrooms with tears on her face. It might be too late for her, this looks like a terminal stage. I really wish she’d stop, since it looks incredibly suspicious.

Speaking of suspicious, it looks like that suspicious hooded merchant is not yet back to the town. Ah, and my affection points as well. Pheromones aren’t coming back…

Now, the president and others are off to a dungeon. It seems that they took a request for it, so they have to go. Until night it should be okay, but then, they will come back with more raging sermons and furious lectures.

The cookies that I made while killing time in the cave had a bit of weird taste since I couldn’t get my hands on butter, but when I tried to feed them to the poster girl, she was incredibly happy and even did some kind of a strange dance. Sugar seems to be pretty valuable and is not widely available. But they have dried fruits, I guess making a fruit cake might prove useful the next time I get scolded. Or rather, there is a good chance that the scolding might continue when I get back. Even more so since I ran away.

This time I came back without souvenirs, that must be the reason they are mad at me. They were super mad. Looks like the weapons that Motoki-kun? carried weren’t enough. What’s needed are sweets after all, though at this rate the girls might soon need to get into Billy’s Bootcamp…… One More Set!

So yes, I should make a fruit cake. Without butter, it might turn out like sweet bread, but it’s a fruit cake.

Borrowing the inn’s kitchen I get to making the cake. I already bribed the poster girl, so it’s not a problem.

I have flour, dried fruits, and milk. I don’t know what kind of milk this is, but milk is milk. If it turns into bread, I can turn it into steamed buns. Anyway, with the exception of the idiots, everyone is in the dungeon for now. And they will be back by night. And when they are, the sermon will resume. Before then I must finish a fruit cake! It’s a race against time. A fruit cake is the only thing that can prove my innocence!

Actually, though my clothes are still intact, it seems that there was more damage than I thought even though I healed my wounds with mushroom potions. Especially from the crash landing of the last jump to the town.

I was on the verge of death, and I also didn’t sleep. And yet, to avoid another lecture, I’m making a fruit cake. Sifting the flour, making a dough, kneading it, letting it ferment, even though the idiots are sleeping, baking it, steaming it, should I bake the geeks’ head as well? Why didn’t they even try to help me? Didn’t they say that they will repay the favor when they get to a town? And when we came to the town, they weren’t there? And they did nothing to save me from the sermon? Read the mood! Why am I the only one who has to work this hard? Even though I’m a NEET……

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It’s a victory. A complete and overwhelming victory. I was vindicated, the charges were false after all. Am I on the route of turning into Monte Cristo? I’m already living in the cave, but on whom should I take my revenge?

[TL note: the Japanese name for that novel is the King of the Cavern. So…]

The girls jumped at the pseudo-fruit cake, or more like steamed-bun-like something. They are almost swallowing it whole.

Some of them are even crying. They sink their teeth into them without saying anything and swallow. I’m glad that I cut it up beforehand. They are going so hard at it, that I seriously think that were I to leave it whole at the center of the table they would’ve started a deathmatch. For some reason, everyone is crying while laughing… I don’t remember putting any shrooms there? Did I add something weird there? Crying with smiles.

That gradually shifted into dinner, with everyone making as much ruckus as usual. With idiots coming from upstairs and joining as well, the conversation turned into chaos. No one knows what they are talking about at this point. I don’t know as well. And their names as well.

In the end, the commotion continued until midnight, with everyone taking turns to bathe. What a noisy bunch. As always, the president is too close, while the bitches are putting on pressure, sitting behind me, the athletic girls are on the spree, while the poster girl is panicking. The idiots got emotional and are saying something dumb, the geeks ignore what is happening around them and engage in their usual geekery, Vice President A is glaring, Vice President C is getting fed by everyone, while Vice President B is jiggling as always… Noo, Imnotlooking? Why does everyone turn to me all at once? Why did everyone stop talking? And many of them have flat gazes? Is it contagious? So close, if it were 12 people, then 24 eyes with flat gazes would’ve been a masterpiece, but the destructive power of 40 eyes is just too high. For some reason, even the poster girl was infected with a flat gaze. Good grief, as usual, they are noisy, bustling, and on top of that boisterous. Even though they are already in the second year of high school. It’s about time they get some common sense.

Time passed, and quite late at night I finally returned to my room, instantly falling asleep. Or more like falling unconscious… I’m so tired.

Day 25 – Over.

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