Lihua's expression saddened further. "Is it because I am clueless about the process?"
"That's not the point," Wei tilted his head. "I don't want to see you or make you feel...I don't know... degraded?"
He couldn't put his finger towards the distaste he felt.
She looked at him in shock. "Huh? Degraded? Why would I feel that?"
"Because when a woman pleasures a man, she looks like she is submissive. When I watched some videos, I felt that it glorified male domination."
Lihua stared at him silently.
"I don't like that. The men just pushed their lengths down the women's throats and the women didn't do much even though I could faintly see that they were uncomfortable. They continued pleasuring them. The men seemed to enjoy it a lot. I didn't see the same for the women. For a woman to bend down to that state felt humiliating to me.
I don't want to see you that way. I don't want to make you feel that you are lower than me. You are my wife. If anything, I will become your servant, but I don't want it the other way around. I want to respect you, and I didn't get that feeling that a woman was respected when she pleasured a man."
He kissed her forehead. "I don't want to see you submissive. It doesn't feel right to me."
Lihua rapidly blinked her eyes and exhaled a deep breath. She touched her chest and felt her heart racing like a bullet train.
"Wei...you are going to be the death of me one day…" she collapsed back on the bed, feeling emotionally drained.
She was so afraid that maybe Wei didn't want her to do it because she lacked experience, and so she wouldn't be able to satisfy him. Though she felt that with the way Wei doted on her, he would never think of anything like that. But her cluelessness couldn't help but make her feel anxious.
But to know that Wei's train of thought to reject it would be…
She got up again and squished his cheeks. "Wei. You...you are really too doting!" She harrumphed.
She didn't know if she should feel happy or angry about this.
"It's because you are my wife," he nodded.
"..."
Lihua coughed. "Did you really see those videos?"
"Yes. But I didn't like it at all…"
She pecked his lips and smiled. "Wei, you are having the wrong idea about it. Pleasuring is not demeaning at all. Do you feel degraded when you have to touch or l-lick me?"
"Of course not," he immediately said.
"En. Likewise, I wouldn't feel humiliated if I had to pleasure you. It's because you are the man who loves and respects me so much. And precisely because you feel that way about me, I sincerely get the feeling to do something for you. It largely depends on how the partner treats the woman. It's about the man's mentality. If he acts like a jerk and forces her to do it even though she doesn't like it, or if he makes her feel that he is entitled to treat her like some sex doll, then yes, it is demeaning for a woman in that situation to agree to please him."
She hopped into his hug. "But if he treats her and her wishes with respect, then it's not insulting at all. You are not like those men who are selfish and aren't concerned about their women at all. That's why I want to show you that I care about you e-enjoying it too."
Wei curiously thought about this aspect. "Is that so?"
"En. To me or any other woman who genuinely wants to do it, we don't feel humiliated at all. In fact…" she averted her gaze, feeling shy, "If you are feeling g-good because of me, I would feel empowered, desired and confident.You also feel the same way when you do it to me, right? You feel happy because I feel happy and satisfied. I also want to give you the same experience…"
She giggled, "Plus! Being dominant isn't a really bad thing to be actually. For the other one to be in your control simply means that he or she trusts you a lot. It's a just a part of sex and to get more intimate that selflessly gives pleasure to your partner because you want him to enjoy too."
Lihua held his hand and softly smiled. "But thank you Wei," her eyes turned slightly wet, "You always... always think so much about me."
Wei must have had the desire for Lihua to pleasure him and have that experience. It was normal for a man to wish that, who loved his wife. But even if he wanted to, he never uttered a word about it.
He always kept Lihua's interests above his own.
Lihua smiled as she squished his cheeks again. "That's why, you cannot reject it now."
After hearing Lihua's side of the explanation, Wei indeed realized that he misunderstood it. It was all about the man's perspective. As long there is mutual respect in a relationship, it isn't humiliating for any woman.
"En."
Lihua blushed. "E-En...So t-teach me how to do it."
Wei nodded.
He took out his phone and opened Baidu.
Lihua blinked her eyes. "What are you doing?"
"Searching for some tips for a woman on how to pleasure a man."
Lihua choked hard and looked at him in disbelief. Her cheeks turned bright red. "W-why are you searching for that!?"
Is that even a thing to search about?
Wei sincerely said, "It's your first time doing it. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or hurt yourself, so I am looking for information that will make it easier for you. Research is important," he nodded again.
Lihua's mouth twitched.
Somehow...I have this strange feeling...This really strange feeling that this has happened before.
"Wei, I don't remember but...did you research like this during our first time?"