Chapter 145: (Hundred) Forty Four: Pictures

Navaya jerked, wiggling as Johnny pressed the ice on her throbbing ankle. His actions were gentle, a little too gentle but it didn't stop Navaya from delivering more smacks to his shoulder, and in the end, it wasn't the cold, tingles or the pain that truly compelled her to do so. No, it was the fact that she could. It wasn't every day a girl got the opportunity to beat up Johnathan Ramus and though clearly in pain, Navaya wouldn't let herself miss out on this golden splendor bestowed upon her.

When Johnny kept pressing the ice on her ankle as though her swats did nothing— like he didn't feel them— Navaya clenched his unused arm, the wool of his sweater warm and smooth against her skin as she buried her face on his shoulder. Somehow, she thought not looking at her leg would make it hurt less, that not staring into Johnny's eyes would make this experience less humiliating. She was wrong, it didn't do anything. It didn't make the pain less, it didn't stop shame from trilling into her veins.

" This just goes to show that booze and high heels aren't for everyone." Johnny said, proceeding with his frozen onslaught. The amusement in his voice earned him a sharp side glare but just as always, he remained unfazed. 

Navaya dug her nails into his arm as revenge but didn't get much of a reaction from him. Her lips twitched as she suppressed her displeasure, slowly easing her nails off his skin. No point in taking revenge when the person who is being inflicted with pain doesn't even feel it.

" You seem to know a lot about this." Navaya muttered after a brief silence. Well, silent if not for her occasional wincing. 

" I had a lot of experience." Was all he said. When working as a punisher in a brutal organization like Leo's mafia, bleeding noses from receiving blows and broken knuckles from giving them were almost considered normal. The longer Johnny stays associated with the business, the more faces he ruins, the more lives he takes. The more his hands overflow with the blood of the people he murdered. No amount of hand wash can get rid of the stain or even quell its singeing after effect, only a dead conscience could buck the memories of the slaughtered and Johnny's wasn't dead yet. There was always this unbearable stiffness lingering on his chest whenever a job had to be taken care of, when blood would have to be spilled. After the job, that stiffness would slowly transcend into an obsidian shadow to matte his pristine sense of humility. 

Although he wasn't Becca, he didn't wear his guilt like an insignia but everyone had a breaking point. A time when they finally crack.

Desperate for a distraction from the vile thought snapping at him, Johnny stared at the tapestry-covered wall behind him, forgetting he had the ice pack smooshed on Navaya's ankle as he allowed himself to douse in the intricate patterns. Three moons, amid them laid little lights— stars, a throng of lambency— embellished on sapphire wool. Comely to the eye.

Navaya followed his eyes, a feeling engulfing her as she watched him marvel on the design on her wall. The feeling of fondness. It was familiar. Seeing him like this was somewhat soothing. He might have practically morphed into a different person over the years but his enthusiasm towards art remained unscathed.

The thought dragged a smile on Navaya's lips.

" Have you ever tried creating something like this?" Navaya asked, unaware of the tenderness teeming her tone.

" No." He answered, sounding distant. Not even in his dreams would he possess the dexterity to create something so enthralling. It had been years since he last felt the urge to create. Johnny returned his gaze to her, and caught sight of her smile. " I create angry things, remember?" 

Memories flooded Navaya's mind, memories of the two of them, widening her smile. She laughed.

" That's because you do." Her eyes met Johnny's and for some seconds, her heart stopped. " Every single one of them, raving with emotions, with rage."

Navaya ostensibly glossed over the fact that she still clutched onto his arm, somehow that fact hadn't dawned on her yet.

Moments passed and Johnny finally removed the cloth, leaving Navaya's ankle wet from the ice that had melted on her. Gently, he jostled out of her hold and got off the bed.

Navaya's heart lurched as she watched him put the moistened cloth away, following his every movement with widened eyes.

" You should change into more comfortable clothes and get some—" 

" You're leaving?" Navaya cut him off with her question. For some reason, her heart ached just by thinking about the unbearable loneliness that would follow after he leaves.

" I have to, it's late already." His reason was sensible but Navaya ended up analyzing it the wrong way; he probably just wanted to go home to that woman touching him at the launch, probably haven't had his fill of her yet.

A bitter taste smeared her throat at the thought.

" You're right." She turned away from him. " You should go. You shouldn't keep that woman waiting at my expense."

Woman? 

Johnny scrunched his brows in confusion. " What woman?" 

" The one you seemed drawn to at the launch. The one who couldn't stop herself from touching you." Her distaste rumbled beneath the surface.

" That couldn't stop touching me?" Johnny tilted his head a little to the side. " You mean Alexandria?"

Alexandria… He says her name so casually.

" So that's her name. It's not a surprise how you easily guessed who I was referring to." Navaya's voice was colder than the ice that was pressed on her ankle. She glanced his way with a smile that belied the horrible feeling badgering her, the insufferable tightness of her chest. She couldn't stand it, she couldn't stand to look at him for a second longer. 

She bristled, dropping her gaze to the sheets.

It didn't take Johnny long to fit all the pieces together, to see right through her and decipher the meaning behind her words.

" Nothing is going on between me and Alexandria. She is just a friend." Johnny knew he had to clear things out, to make her understand. Their relationship was already complicated enough, and he didn't want Navaya stoking her mind with false thoughts like that. She was the only woman he ever wanted in his life and he would never do the things she was insinuating.

Silence laid leaden in their midst. Navaya still blatantly refused to meet his gaze, causing Johnny's fear to fester at the verge of hysteria. Tentatively, he trudged onto the bed where she sat, still making sure to maintain a respectable distance between them.

" Navaya?" He called out softly. " Navaya, please look at me. Alexandria doesn't mean anything to me, she is just the daughter of a man I once knew. We are nothing more than friends."

He had to explain things to her. He didn't like that she allowed her brain to conjure up such awful things.

Her lashes flickered, slowly lifting her gaze.

" Nicky was also your friend." Her voice came out low. " Yet we both know how that turned out." 

Without thinking, Johnny came closer and when she didn't try to move away, he cupped her face.

" It only ended up that way because I was an idiot. I was a fool. It's all my fault. I blew my chance to save the beautiful relationship we built together." He pressed a kiss on her forehead. " I know I don't even deserve your forgiveness but I've learned from my mistakes." 

" You hurt me." She whispered with more pain than Johnny could even fathom. 

Remorse writhed through him. 

" I'm sorry." He whispered back and touched her forehead with his. " I'm so sorry." 

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" You knew I had feelings for you." The first defiant tear glided down Navaya's cheek, clear for Johnny to see just how much damage he caused. "Do you understand how it feels to watch the only person you have ever loved, marry someone else? Did you even care about how I felt when you announced the news of Nicky's pregnancy?" 

Her words slashed him to shreds. Her words, her questions, all were things he didn't have a response to. 

Perhaps if things hadn't happened the way it did, perhaps if he had stood up against his father's wishes, if he had rebelled a bit more, maybe then he and Navaya wouldn't be having this conversation. Maybe then things would have ended up differently. Better. But it didn't and it was his fault.

" It isn't too late for us. We can still make things work." Johnny said and Navaya placed her hands over his that were still cupping her face.

" I think I'm done giving men chances for now." She slipped his hand off her. " Thank you for bringing me home but I think it's time for you to leave."

Navaya would rather stay home all alone than be with Johnny, and be endlessly reminded how replaceable she was to him. She was the second-best after all.

He had his fun with her and it was nice while it lasted but when it was time to make a decision, he didn't choose her. Giving him a chance now would constantly remind her of the fact that he was only pursuing her because Nicky was dead. 

It took everything Johnny had in him to leave but he did, no other option available. He stared at her shut door for so long, his eyes burnt with the tears he smothered. Gradually, he put himself back together and shuffled to his car. He slammed his door shut immediately he got in but couldn't help glancing at Navaya's home once again. The lights of her bedroom were still on, bright. But all of the sudden, they dimmed— just like the ray of hope in his heart.

He went ahead to start the ignition but paused abruptly when he heard his phone ring. Not now, the last thing he wanted to do now was to speak to someone. He thought of ignoring it but in the end, chose to answer. What's one phone call?

It's not like anything could possibly worsen the hurt he was experiencing. 

Letting out a sigh, Johnny fished out his phone, and his eyes riffed over the screen.

Kris.

Johnny inhaled a deep breath, summoning every iota of tolerance he had left in him. With that, he answered.

" Finally," She sassed. " You chose to answer."

" Yes, so make it quick." He snapped. Guess all the tolerance wasn't enough.

" That's rude." 

" Kris, I'm not in the mood."

His lips formed a snarl as the sound of her mocking laughter streamed into his ears.

"Which makes it the perfect time to show you something." 

He rolled his eyes, stifling a groan. Why the heck was Kristina awake at that hour? Johnny remembered how Nicky would be fast asleep before nine every night when she was still pregnant and… alive.

He let out another sigh. His baby died before getting the chance to see the world, he lost his oldest friend in a car accident and now the only woman he had ever loved doesn't even want him. How did his life turn out like this? 

" Just say whatever you want to say. Do it fast." He shot back.

" Alright, fine. I already know I have always been your least favorite sister but it doesn't matter anymore. Now you will get to see how right I have been all along about that bastard Leonardo." 

Johnny grumbled in response.

" Not this shit again." He massaged his forehead. " Don't you ever get tired of this?"

Just as the question left his lips, his phone dinged. 

A message. He minimized the call to check it out. 

Johnny froze when he saw the image that was sent to his inbox.

" Why is the other line so quiet?" Kristina chuckled. " Has the truth silenced you?"

" What is this?" Johnny asked, confusion and disbelief flooding his tone.

" Exactly how you saw it." 

More messages came, most of them were pictures of Becca and Leo. Together. 

The first was a picture of Becca and Leo, kissing on a balcony. Leo's arms were wrapped around Becca's waist and the picture was captioned 'getting into the new year's vibes'. The second picture was Becca and Leo having a meal together at a restaurant. The smiles they had on their faces turned Johnny's heart multiple shades darker.

The third was Leo walking Becca out of a building, his hand still around her waist.

The rest were the same; pictures of them together, with Leo standing way too close for ease, his hands on Becca like she was his property.

Johnny's eyes twitched with rage as he scrolled to the very end.

The last picture was a bit blurry but when he zoomed in, he saw it was Becca and Martino coming out of a building. A hospital, the same one Leo was admitted to. They both played him for a fool.

" How did you get this?" Johnny asked when he saw the call was still connected.

" It was pretty easy actually. We both know how impenetrable Leo's network is. If he didn't want those pictures to exist, I wouldn't have been able to get them, or even keep them. Same way he keeps his picture off the Internet. So believe me when I say that your dear friend, Leonardo Kane, is directly and intentionally lying to your face without remorse." She paused to let her words sink in. " He doesn't care about anyone but himself and now, he is dragging Becca into his madness. So, what can I say? I guess it's a match made in heaven." 

" It's a disaster, a mistake that shouldn't have happened."

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