Chapter 149: Chapter(Hundred) Forty Eight: Crumbling

With every breath she took, the sound of Leo's steps drew closer. Despite her wide strides, he still would have caught up with her if it wasn't for his cane and unstable legs. But either way, she didn't stop and neither did he. Relief shone in amid the sludge of discomfort that consumed her as she spotted her car— her means of escape. She quickened her pace.

Becca shut the door to her car as soon as she got in, sinking into the driver's seat and let out jagged pants. With each breath she released, she replenished with a gush, filling her lungs. Reviving herself. 

Her heart fluttered— startled by the sight of Leo standing by her window. He crouched his head, his face a tumult of worry and confusion. Seconds later, he knocked. Light, gentle thuds, all to get her attention and it did. She watched him place his hand on her window once more, this time flattening his palm on it. Her eyes flitted from his palm to his face, to his gaze that had been on her ever since.

For a moment, he held her with what felt like a hex— an enigmatic force binding her focus to him, only him. But it didn't last, the wrenching feeling returned, contorting her with thoughts she wished to keep stowed away. In mere seconds her expression went from startled to enthralled, now disturbed with a hint of sadness. Her lashes flickered as she veered her gaze away from Leo to stare at the seat next to hers. 

She wanted to be alone, she wanted to be with the man she loved without her family opposing, she wanted to know the reason behind the bad impressions they all had of Leo, why they were so against him. She wanted so many things but there was one thing she yearned for the most. She wanted to forget the fact that the news of her birth almost split the Ramus family, to forget that her illegitimacy almost ruined a marriage.

More gentle thuds against the window, streamed into her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block it out, block everything out, starting with the wretched feelings mangling her senses.

" My love? Can I come in?" Leo's worry soared when she didn't respond. She didn't even look at him. He tried opening her door but it was locked. " Becca, please open the door. Tell me what's wrong. You can talk to me." 

Letting out a sigh, she opened her eyes then turned to him. He looked just as disturbed as she was, maybe even more. Becca already hated the feelings gurgling through her, but she despised that she was making Leo feel the same thing. Her eyes followed Leo's movement as he walked to the door of the passenger's seat right after she unlocked it for him and he stepped in.

Leo adjusted on his seat, turning to face Becca who wasn't even looking at him but out the window.

" Why does this keep happening?" 

Leo heard her mutter. He leaned closer and took her hand in his.

" What keeps happening?" He asked, not quite understanding her question. " Is this about Johnny? You know he's just one person. He can't stop us from being happy together." Leo said when Becca didn't answer his question, striving to bring her ease. But she didn't budge. She didn't move. She just kept staring out the window.

" It's not just him. My whole family seemed to go into a frenzy when they found out we were together. They keep saying horrible things about you."

Something churned inside Leo, something furious. The lights in his eyes dimmed instantly. " What did they say?"

Becca tossed him a glance. " You tell me. Tell me what they said because I couldn't comprehend anything when they did. Tell me why the thought of us being together always frightens them. Tell me why they don't see you the way I see you." She paused and let out a sigh. " I couldn't even defend you." 

How could she when she didn't even know what was true and what wasn't? How could she take his side when he was obviously keeping things from her.

" My love." He drew closer, their faces now mere centimeters apart.

" Tell me." Becca's eyes glistened, sadness sheathing its glow. Her lips trembled. " Please. I want what we have together to work." 

Leo sucked in a harsh breath, heart slamming hard against his chest, slowly rousing his demons— the dark shadows tinging his soul many shades darker, the same ones he always sought to suppress. The demons were now rising from the obsidian pit they were once banished to, ready to wreak chaos.

He stared at her with an unfathomable expression on his face. Bleak, just like his heart before she came back into his life.

" I want our relationship to work as well." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

" Then what's wrong? Tell me." Becca couldn't stop her gaze from wandering to Leo's bruised jaw. " What are you afraid of?" 

What was he afraid of? A lot of things. There were too many to count but one fear eclipsed all others.

" I'm afraid of losing you." He was scared of how she would look at him if she knew him like her family did.

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" But that's never going to happen. You won't lose me." 

The thought of living a life without Leo in it just seemed preposterous. Unimaginable. She wouldn't be able to survive.

A small unfurled on his lips. " Your family would think otherwise."

" That's because, for some reason, they see you differently from the way I do." She blinked, trying to weaken the stinging behind her eyes. " I'm supposed to be the person closest to you but sometimes I feel like everyone else knows you better than I do and it's frustrating. I just want to know you." 

Something in Leo snapped and the look in Becca's eyes wasn't making things easier. The sadness shadowing her face was a double-edged sword being plunged into his chest, killing him slowly. He didn't know what hurt more; seeing her sad or knowing that he was the reason for her sadness.

Without thinking twice, he pulled her into his embrace. He did it on reflex. Like it was out of impulse and in a way, it was. His entire existence now revolved around her, the rate at which his being craved to see a smile on her lips was simply appalling. When she's happy, he's satisfied. When she's sad, he becomes… disturbed.

She clung onto him, arms curled around Leo's neck as she rested her head on his shoulders. His embrace was like a sponge, soaking the sadness out of her. She let herself thaw in his arms and the familiar feeling that came with his hugs— the feeling that came with being with him. 

" Sometimes I feel like I don't know anything about you but other times, you make me feel like you have been with me my whole life." She whispered against his shoulder. 

Leo couldn't bear the hollowness of her voice, the awful mixture of curiosity and sadness, it ripped him to shreds. He wanted to tell her everything, give her what she had been pining for so that she too would feel the irrefutable connection between them but then again, there were the shadows that tormented him. If he eventually marshaled the courage to tell her and if by some miracle, she still decides to stay with him, those same shadows would scare her, scar her, just like they did to him.

Still holding her in his embrace, he pressed a kiss on her hair. Moments passed, none of them uttered a word.

Slowly, Becca eased out of Leo's hands, tucking strands of hair behind her ear. Her eyes once again wandered to his bruised jaw.

Unable to restrain herself, she touched his jaw.

" Johnny did this." Her eyes met his. " Didn't he?"

" It's his special way of saying good morning." Leo chuckled but Becca wasn't amused. She hardly smiled. Just the fact that a friendship was crumbling because of her rekindled the impaling feeling afflicting her heart. 

She caressed his face as if trying to soothe the pain that to Leo almost felt minuscule against her sweet touches. 

" I will talk to him myself. This thing has to stop." Concern leaked from her tone.

" It will stop. There is no way he can keep punching me forever." He flashed his teeth in a grin.

A scowl contorted Becca's face. " That isn't even funny."

" Maybe not but that frown on your face definitely is," Leo said, earning a light jab on the shoulder. 

" Well then get ready to die laughing because this frown is here to stay." Becca snarled and Leo's grin blossomed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back into his embrace.

He didn't care that the car they were in was still in a public parking lot. He didn't care that anyone could just walk in and see them sharing an intimate moment in each other's arms. All that mattered was the woman in his embrace, nothing else. No one else. Just her.

She stirred, inching her chin higher, and with her lips barely inches from his ear, she whispered. " You still haven't answered my question."

And indeed, he hadn't, not by a mile. 

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