Chapter 161: Chapter(Hundred) Sixty: Anymore

Everything was a lie. He was a liar and his so-called trust was an even bigger lie.

Becca stood facing the door to Navaya's house, her hands dangling limply at her side as she waited and waited. Slowly— yet frailly, she hoisted her hand and rang the doorbell anew.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she heard her phone chime in her purse. Leo… Ever since she left him with Johnny at that cafe he had been blowing up her phone with calls and texts— to which she gave no response. She wasn't lucid enough to manage a civil conversation with him without dredging the gashes his perfidy rabbeted. Just the thought of it spun her head with vertigo, the thought sickened her, and the fact that Leo still perdured his attempts to get hold of her, irked Becca in more ways than one.

Becca abhorred the idea of breaking down in front of him, she didn't want to grant him a front-row seat to witness how much his actions wrecked her, and despite the beleaguering sadness tormenting her or even the tauten knots in her chest, deep down she knew that the only way she could possibly remain aplomb, was if she flagrantly ignored him. And that, she did. For the sake of her sanity, she ignored him exceedingly well. All through the ride here, Becca wedged back all thoughts about Leo, and what happened at the cafe, even the memories of the once beautiful relationship she thought they shared were shunted away. But right now, as she stood there waiting for Navaya to open the door, she could sense the feelings— anger, sadness, pain— barraging into her with an unfathomable force, it jolted her.

She tried to understand Leo. She really did try to… He suffered through so much at such a tender age by people who were supposed to protect him. He had clung onto life in full desperation, too abashed to even concede letting go, yet he fought his way past the straits and came out on top. Becca admired him for that but even that wasn't sufficient enough to extenuate his actions.

He lied to her. He overlooked everything they had been through— everything they shared— and lied to her face even after promising never to keep secrets from her. 

He is a criminal that kills at will.

Those words percussed her like a blitz attack. Those words iced her spine. 

She shuddered.

He is a murderer.

Becca wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to replenish a sliver of the warmth that sentence alone, stripped off her. As soon as the door in front of her clicked open, Becca instantly lobbed herself into Navaya's embrace.

Surprised by the sudden hug, Navaya tightened her grip on the doorknob and shifted most of her weight on one ankle— the one that wasn't sprained. The unrelenting tightness of Becca's hug accentuated her befuddled emotions and Navaya never once spurned the embrace. Instead, she allowed Becca to hug out whatever sadness afflicting her despite not knowing the cause.

Navaya's hand plodded to Becca's back, patting it to soothe her. After the forlorn incident where Navaya broke a heel and fell on her ass like a sot in front of Johnny, she realized that the sprain she incurred on her ankle was far more severe than anticipated. She wouldn't be able to walk normally nor wear anything that resembled high heels for at least a week or two and while she recuperates from her debacle, she would have to stay home. Which was precisely why Becca chose to come straight here after her somewhat of an argument with Leo, she knew Navaya would be available.

Becca thawed in Navaya's arms as she felt a thick haze of warmth swaddle her but instead of providing any form of solace, all it did was vehemently claw out the awful feeling, dragging it to the surface where it was palpable and exposed. Their embrace rekindled the pain in Becca's chest

" Becca, what's wrong?" Navaya broke their hug and placed a hand on Becca's shoulder, her face sheathed with utter worry. 

Becca inhaled in a deep breath. " Can I come in?" 

" Sure, please do. Come in" Navaya hopped to the side, allowing Becca in before shutting the door behind her. A visceral instinct to protect, awakened in her as she sensed the tumult radiating from Becca. " Tell me what's wrong?" 

Becca dragged her feet as she walked to the living room and slumped herself on the comfy sofa. Then Navaya hopped her way over and sat next to Becca.

Becca sighed. " He lied to me." 

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He made her look like a dolt. And she was asinine enough to presume that somehow, perhaps someday, he would finally see that all her efforts to get him to open up were truly her way of strengthening their relationship. But then again, what's a relationship without trust?

" Who lied to you?" Navaya asked, not bothering to encase her profound confusion.

Becca buried her face in her palm.

Worried, Navaya scooted closer and hurled her arms around her. 

" Hey…" Navaya said gently. " You can tell me anything, I'm here for you. What's wrong?" 

Becca sniffled, " I tried to make things work. I really did. But… but Leo…" 

Navaya soothed Becca's hair. " What did he do?" 

" He—" Becca paused, contemplating whether to say what she had in mind or not but at the end, she chose the latter. If the fact that all the effort she devoted to helping their love— that she firmly believed in— to flourish was all in vain, now recalling the secret Leo ardently kept from her was simply rubbing salt in her wounds. Becca let out a defeated sigh. " I don't think I can do this anymore." 

Navaya abruptly hauled her arms away from Becca, her face embellished with shock for mere seconds before transcending back into concern.

" Did he… You know, cheat?" Navaya asked tentatively.

Becca shot her a glance, shaking her head.

" No." She said with little to no doubt. " He didn't." 

She knew he would never cheat on her. She had so much trust and faith in him. It was he who didn't trust her.

Navaya stared at Becca for what felt like forever, not once uttering a single word. Then she placed a hand on Becca's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

" Do you want to know something?" Navaya proceeded once Becca gave a light nod. " You have been so happy in the past three months you have spent with Leo, a lot happier than you have been in the last six years. Your eyes shimmer with glee, your face practically glows, and your smile? Your smile brightens up the whole room. You finally take days off work to relax and do only God knows what and I have never been more proud. It's all because of love. Love is magical. Beautiful but extremely rare, not everyone gets to experience it."

Thinking Navaya was covertly trying to justify Leo's transgressions, Becca obstinately averted her gaze to stare at the white color paint of the walls. Her lips were sealed tight but her heart and mind were racing.

Navaya sighed. She knew that she, out of all people, was the least qualified to give advice of the heart, given that she had long forgone all hopes of ever getting genuine love from her parents and somewhere along the line, also eschewed things pertaining to romance with a man but seeing Becca like this, so hurt, so broken, sparked something in her— the urge to console the best she could.

" Look, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be upset about whatever Leo did. You have every right to be outraged. As a friend, all I want is to see you happy, to do whatever it takes to rekindle that gorgeous smile of yours." Navaya placed a hand on Becca's chin, urging her to look at her and once the met each other's gazes, Becca, momentarily, couldn't recognize the person beside her. There wasn't a trace of the once playful and juvenile Navaya, she had known for years, instead the woman beside her was mellow with wisdom glinting in her eyes. " But coming from a woman who has had her heart smashed multiple times by people, the best thing you can ever do for yourself is to let go of the things that hurt you, not try to fix them." 

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