Chapter 1: Cockroach

Sitting down against the wall of an empty alley in the middle of the night, with torn clothes that left me shivering in the cold and nothing in my possession – that's how I found myself that day when I recovered my consciousness.

It somehow smelt like bleach, alcohol and sweat at the same time. Disgusting.

A most dire situation to find oneself in just after waking up, even though I’m stating the obvious here.

What to do... I felt completely exhausted and out of energy, almost incapable of moving and certainly unable to get up and walk somewhere—actually, where would I even go? Probably to my house but... where was that again?

I tried to remember.

…

…...

…......

Oh, shit.

Blank.

Completely empty.

I couldn’t remember anything. It wasn’t just that I couldn’t remember where my house was, or how I had even gotten here, or even what those glass bottles that looked suspiciously like beer were doing all over the floor—rather, I didn't even know what my name was, my birthday, my credit card number or my phone’s unlock PIN. I didn’t even know if I HAD a phone.

Did I mention I forgot my name too?

Oh, crap, this was bad.

A rush of adrenalin coursing through my veins seemed to contradict my previous statement about how lacking in energy I was, and while I still couldn’t manage to get up and walk, I was able to look around and inspect the floor around me. And upon completing my inspection, I realized yet another one of my previous statements had been untrue—there was, in fact, something in my possession other than the insufficient clothing I was wearing.

A small cardboard box, not unlike those used for medicine in size and shape—and inside it was a bunch of oval-shaped yellow pills. This was probably some medicine I needed to take… or maybe it was just candy, or hard drugs. How the fuck would I know? Exactly, by eating one and finding out.

…

I know this is a terrible idea, but there was still the possibility that it was some crucial medicine I needed to survive. And given that I had absolutely nothing else to hold on to, and that I looked half dead anyway, if it was some brain-murdering drug it would only speed un a certain death.

So yes.

In the end, I took a pill, and ate it.

…

O-oh my god. What was this feeling…?

Flying sparks with more color variety and brightness than a Gamer™’s bedroom threatened to reduce my eyeball count by 100%, but in the end I got off with just a mild headache and a slight but permanent loss of sight.

Still, regardless of how intense the pain I should’ve been feeling on my eyes should’ve been, I can’t say I remember any of it—that may or may not be because of the fact that the pain on the rest of my body was three full steps above.

All of my world had been replaced by this white void full of Gamer RGB and massive, massive amounts of pain to every body part. And I could do nothing except grin and bear it.

…

When the pain subsided and my vision came back, I couldn't tell if a minute or a month had passed.

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And then I saw it—I had somehow become a bug.

A small, tiny, diminutive, minuscule—you get the point.

A bug.

A bug…

A cockroach to be precise.

Unlike some people, I wasn’t actually grossed out by cockroaches, since contrary to popular belief they happen to be some of the cleanest bugs around.

Still, though—a bug.

And right in front of me was a woman, towering over me like… like… like a human adult standing right next to a cockroach. She had a massive grin on her face as she picked me up from the floor and played with me on her hand.

This felt wrong.

She could kill me any moment, destroy me with a mere flick of the wrist. I couldn't stand it.

But I couldn't run away.

I could only shiver in pain, unable to make any noise, and incapable of movement from the sheer terror—

“Hey, it's time for another round, dear.”

…

Fade into black.

Her hand closed with full strength, squishing me beyond recognition. My life was no more.

The last thing I heard before losing consciousness was her devilish laugh, thoroughly enjoying my punishment.

And after that, nothing.

…

……

………

Once again, how much time I spent unconscious is something that I ignore and will probably never know.

What I do know is that, when I woke up, I was sitting down against the wall of an empty alley in the middle of the night, with torn clothes that left me shivering in the cold and nothing in my possession.

Except for a tiny box of yellow pills.

And I couldn't remember a thing.

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